Hearts after Midnight
by LucyLeigh James
Summary: A series of missing scenes and episode tags for Season 5, continuing into Season 6.
1. Present Tense

**A/N These characters are not mine, I just like to borrow them from time to time.**

 **This is my tag to Present Tense 5.01 - so proud of myself for getting it done before tonight's episode. Hopefully I can keep it up.**

Andy Flynn instinctively knew he was alone long before he opened his eyes. He rolled to his back, stretching his arm out to the empty expanse beside him. The sheets were cool; she had been up for a while. Groaning slightly, Andy sat up, flipping the bedside lamp on. The time on his phone read one forty- two. "Shit!" He muttered on his way in to the darkened bathroom. His dress-shirt from earlier was no longer hanging on the back of the door and that made him smile, slightly. After relieving himself, Andy quietly padded down the hall, not bothering to look for his robe. The kid had already caught him in his boxers and white t-shirt once so Andy didn't figure it matter much any more.

The lights were off in the living room, the couch empty. Andy frowned as he looked into the kitchen. A single light above the sink burned softly. The tea kettle on the stove top was barely warm confirming even more that she been up for a while. While Andy waited for the water to heat once again, he walked over to the balcony door. Sharon sat with her back to him on her favorite chaise in the far left corner of the balcony. Sighing deeply, Andy made his way back into the kitchen just as the water began to boil. Their dinner and talk of moving in together had not gone exactly as he had planned, not that he was really complaining. Once they were home she had easily distracted him and they ended up making love before enjoying a long relaxing shower.

Mug in one hand, Andy quietly opened the sliding glass door, stepping out into the cool night air. She has to be freezing he thought, wishing that he had grabbed his robe. She didn't turn, but he knew she heard him approaching. Hurriedly, she wiped at her eyes, but it was too late. There was no hiding from him now.

"Sharon…" He whispered, but she refused to meet his gaze. Her legs were bare and tucked underneath her, the sleeves of his pale lavender shirt covered her hands. "Sweetheart, come back to bed. It's freezing out here."

She wiped at her face again, slowly shaking her head. "I…not yet."

Andy stepped closer to her, reaching out he silently offered her the warm mug of tea. Hesitantly she took it, happy to cradle its warmth in her hands but she did not take a sip. Sharon waited, expecting Andy to sit next to her on the end of the chaise but he didn't. Instead, he moved to the balcony railing, his gaze settling on the city beyond. He knew the answer before he spoke, but he figured it was worth a shot, "You wanna talk about it?"

He could hear her clear her throat before she spoke, "I just have a lot on my…mind."

"The case?" he questioned, still not turning to look at her.

A soft "Hmm" was her only reply.

"Rusty and Gus seemed okay tonight." He continued.

"Yes." She shifted slightly on the chaise, bringing her knees up, she hugged them closely to her chest.

Silence hung between them like a dense fog; finally, he turned to look at her. Resting his elbows on the balcony railing, he watched as she sat alone, shivering in the cool night air. "Is it us?" She dropped her head to her knees, unable to once again meet his gaze. "Damn-it Sharon, just talk to me. Please! Please don't shut me out!"

Her voice was soft, strained with emotion, "I'm not."

"No? You could'a fooled me." Andy threw his hands in the air, turning from her yet again. "Obviously you feel better out here crying all alone instead of letting me know a- that you are even upset and b- letting me hold you while you cry. Instead you sneak out here, thinking I'll never know the difference."

"I didn't sneak…" She started.

His voice raised a few octaves, "You're missing point. You've built this fortress around yourself and sometimes I think you are finally letting me in but then…I don't know. I understand why you've had to protect yourself all these years, I really do. But, do you trust me?"

He could hear her stifle a small sob, "Yes…with my life."

His voice was calmer, "Yeah…okay, but do you trust me with your heart?" He still did not turn, afraid to see the truth written in her eyes. "God damn-it Sharon, I love you. But did Jackson Raydor fuck you over so badly that you are not capable of letting me... love you?"

"Andy…please don't swear."

He hung his head, his hands automatically moving to his face. "That's all you've got? I'm trying to have a conversation about our life together and all you hear is a couple of curse words?" He turned to continue his rant, but his irritation dissolved the moment he laid eyes on her small shivering body. He couldn't see her face, her head rested on her knees but he knew instantly that she was crying even harder. "Damn-it…" He breathed. "Sharon, I'm sorry…this isn't what I planned when I came out here. I wanted to hold you, to love you…to make you feel better and I've just made everything worse."

She looked up and for once her face was an open book of emotions. He could see hurt, regret but more than anything he could see love shining in her bright eyes. "You know when you said you were scared that Rusty and Gus found love to soon?" She nodded slightly. He stepped to kneel beside her as he continued, "Well, I'm scared we…found love too late." He reached up, gently wiping the fresh batch of tears on her checks with the pads of his thumbs. "Whatever life I have left; I want it to be with you. End of story…so whatever you need me to do, I will do. If that means things stay exactly as they are now, then okay. I'll accept that. I won't like it, but I'll accept it."

She closed her eyes, shaking her head softly. He was surprised when she quickly stood, gathering up the two untouched mugs of now cold tea. Without a word she started for the kitchen, Andy slowly followed waiting while she placed the mugs in the dishwasher. She reached for his hand as they made their way back to her bedroom. Andy climbed back into bed, waiting to turn the bedside lamp off until she stepped from the bathroom. His dress shirt returned to the back of the door, he couldn't help but trace every inch of her beautiful body as she walked toward the bed clad only in her black lace panties. As he reached to switch the light off, she climbed into bed settling her head against his chest. He pulled her snuggly to him, his hand tracing soft circles on her hip.

He could feel her swallow hard against his chest before she spoke, "Everything you said tonight…each and every word was true. Andy…I don't know how to do this. It's not that I don't want everything that you want. I do…I really do. I just…" She tried to swallow the tears building in the back of her throat, but she couldn't. So she let them fall, down her cheeks to soak onto Andy's white t-shirt.

"Sweetheart…" He started, pulling her even tighter to him.

"No…let me finish. There is so much about my life with Jack that only I know… Things that I try to keep buried deep inside of me. Jack had a terrible mouth on him, especially when he was drinking. He reserved most of those words for me. Even when we were not together he would leave long voicemails…telling me how horrible I was. It's why to this day I despise swearing. My mind just shuts off and I don't hear anything but those terrible, vile words."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know…" He reached to kiss the side of her hair.

"I don't want your pity, Andy." She rolled, moving to lay atop his chest, her eyes searching for his in the darkened bedroom. "I want your love."

"Sha…" She reached up bringing her finger to his lips to silence him.

"I want you to know that even though this…terrifies me, I'm not giving up on us. I want everything that you want, I'm just scared. I will try to be more open, I can't promise a miracle but I will try to let you in. You have already been more than patient with me. I'm so sorry…"

He gently tangled his hands into her hair, pulling her in for a tender, chaste kiss. "Never apologize for being who you are. I love you, nothing will ever change that."

"I love you too."

She kissed him one last time before rolling off his chest, on to her side. He moved behind her, pulling her tightly into his warmth. He smiled, his hand wandering down to splay across her stomach, her feet moving between his knees. Tonight was a test and they both passed, he thought. Learning to love and be loved is hard but so worth it.


	2. NSFW

A/N Tag to episode 5.02 N.S.F.W

Captain Sharon Raydor leaned back in her desk chair, pinching the bridge of her nose. The headache that had been building all day was beginning to get the better of her. A soft knock drew her attention to her open doorway, "Captain, we have everything setup and ready for tomorrow morning. Is there anything else you need before I send everyone home for the night."

"No, Lieutenant. Thank you."

Louie Provenza studied his Captain for a moment, "Everything okay?"

She smiled, reaching for her glasses, she quickly slipped them back on. "Fine. Have a good night, Lieutenant." Provenza paused, wanting to ask why Sharon Beck paid her a visit, but he decided now wasn't the time. After all he could find out the details from Flynn later.

"Goodnight Captain." Provenza had barely made it back to his desk before he noticed Andy quietly stepping into the Captain's office. Shaking his head with a hidden smile, the word idiots sounded loudly in his mind.

Andy leaned against the doorway of Sharon's office, silently watching her. After several moments she slowly looked up. "Yes?" She drawled softly.

"So what did Rusty's bio-mom want this time?" Andy asked as he stepped closer.

Sharon looked up at him, over the top of her glasses, the irritation evident on her face. "I don't want to talk about Sharon Beck, not here…not right now." She removed her glasses again, carefully rubbing her hand over her eyes as not to mess up her makeup.

Andy moved to the side of her desk, "You okay?"

"Hmm." She turned in her chair, moving to stand next to him. "Just a headache. I'm fine." She reached out to fiddle with the edge of his tie, smoothing the pale blue plaid with her finger tips.

"You want me to drive you home?"

She placed her hand flat on the center of his chest, while his hand wandered to her left hip, "No, I'm fine. You go to your meeting and then I will see you at home?" Her eyes met his in question.

"You sure?"

She gently patted his chest, "Yes, I'm sure." With a gentle squeeze of her hip, Andy nodded. He turned, pausing just outside her door to look back, studying the woman he loved so dearly. The visit from Sharon Beck was weighing heavily on her, of that he was certain.

~~~~~~MC~~~~~~

Andy Flynn entered the condo, surprised to find the living room dark. He hung his suit coat in the entrance hall next to Sharon's purse. Quietly, he made his way toward the kitchen. As he moved behind the couch he suddenly realized that Sharon was curled up on the sofa, wrapped in his green robe. He was loathed to wake her so he paused not sure what to do. "I'm not asleep." Her voice drifted up from below him.

'Damn' he thought. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart. Did I wake you?"

She moan slightly as she sat up, "No, just resting." Andy continued into the kitchen, flipping on lights as he went.

"I didn't pick up dinner, you never answered my text."

"Hmm. My phone is still in my purse I guess." Andy frowned turning back to watch her. That was odd he thought. She never was too far from her phone. "I'm really not very hungry." She continued. "There's leftovers in the refrigerator or cereal." She stood, letting Andy's robe slide to the couch. Dressed in grey leggings and a red tank top, she padded barefoot into the kitchen, straight into Andy's waiting arms. They held each other for a few minutes before she eased out of his embrace. "Go change, cereal okay?" Smiling, his nod was barely noticeable. Unable to help himself, he pulled her back into his arms, planting a soft kiss to her forehead. She pulled away again, chuckling under her breath, before patting him on the behind, "Go."

~~~~MC~~~~

Several minutes later, Andy sauntered back to the dining table, dressed in blue stripped pajama bottoms and a grey v-neck t-shirt. Sharon sat in her normal chair at the head of the table, a bowl of dry cereal in front of her. Andy sat, reaching for the milk, he pored it over his cereal and began to eat. "So are you going to tell me what the bio-mom wanted?"

She frowned, leaning her elbows against the table, "Andy, please don't call her that. She's either Sharon or Rusty's mom."

"You are Rusty's mom. She gave up that right a long time ago."

Sharon ran her hand across her make-up free face, "I'm not so sure. She needed to discuss something that would affect our son. Her exact words, were our son."

Andy crunched on another spoonful, "So what kind of trouble has she gotten into this time?"

"Depends on your definition of trouble." Sharon took a sip of tea, her cereal still untouched. "Sharon is…pregnant, four months along to be precise."

Andy's spoon clattered loudly against his bowl, "You've got to be kidding me."

Sharon rested her chin on her intertwined hands, "No, I'm not. Gary…is the father."

"So I guess she wants you to break the news to Rusty?" Sharon slowly nodded her head. "Well that's just great! I guess she wants you to raise this kid too!" Andy's voice continued to get louder.

Sharon reached out trying to calm him, "No…Andy. That's not what she wanted. She...well, she seems to have gotten her life back on track as of now and she plans on keeping the baby."

Andy scooted his chair back, "Yeah, until she falls off the wagon again and that baby becomes Rusty's…I mean your responsibility. Jesus, Sharon!" Andy stood, walking quickly into the kitchen.

Sharon crossed her arms over her chest, surprised at Andy's outburst, "How do we know that she will mess up this time? Maybe, just maybe she finally has her life together. You more than anyone should know that it is possible."

Andy came back to the table, a glass of water in hand. "And you more than anyone should know that sometimes it just doesn't work, not everyone is capable of a successful recovery." Andy sat, placing the water on the table next to his cereal bowl. "We're not talking about a fifteen year old kid here, we're talking about a helpless baby."

"I just think she deserves a second chance, for her sake and for Rusty's." Sharon moved to take another sip of tea.

"And how many chances are you going to give her? As many as you gave Jack, because we all know how that's worked out." Andy could see the hurt, anger flash in her eyes as soon as the words tumbled from his mouth.

She studied him over the top of her tea cup, "What if Nicole or Drew had made the choice not to give you a second chance, Andy…what if… I hadn't given you a chance?" She placed her cup to the side, crossing her arms tightly over her chest, her hands balled into fists, "Do you honestly think I don't remember the person you were before you earned your sobriety? Because I do…I remember him all too well."

Andy stiffened at her words, this conversation was taking a turn he never expected, "Look, I just don't want the kid or you to get hurt. That's all I'm trying to point out here."

"Well, life is full of hurt…Andy. That is something that sadly we can't change." She stood, leaning against the back of her chair. "I pray every single day that Sharon could get her life together and be the kind of mom Rusty deserves. I'd like to hope that she is finally ready to do just that. And as much as I despise Jack, the way he has treated me, I still pray that Emily and Ricky could have the kind of father that they deserve. Just like I pray that you will continue to be exactly what your kids and grandkids need." She turned, starting through the living room.

"Where are you going? You haven't touched your cereal." Andy asked after her.

"I'm taking a bath before bed." She called without looking back at him.

"Fine…fine." Andy mumbled. "Holy hell!"

~~~~MC~~~~

Andy closed the dishwasher with a thud, having finished his cereal and hers too. Wondering where the kid was, he left the light on above the kitchen sink before padding down the hall to Sharon's bedroom. The bathroom door was cracked slightly open, the lights dim. Andy peered in, the scent of vanilla filling the air. "Can I wash your back?" He hesitantly asked.

She smiled, opening her eyes, "I thought maybe you could join me."

Not having to be told twice, Andy quickly shed his clothes while Sharon scooted forward in the tub. She let some of the water out, turning the hot water on low. Andy settled in behind her. She adjusted the water one last time before moving back against his chest. His arms glided around her, gently resting just below her waist. She sighed against him, as her hands covered his. "I'm sorry…" He started, but stopped when he felt her shake her head.

"I'm sorry too." She whispered, softly squeezing his hands.

He placed a chaste kiss to the side of her cheek, "You gonna tell Rusty tonight?"

"No. He's staying with Gus tonight. I will talk with him in the morning." Andy's chest vibrated against her back as he began to chuckle. "What's so funny?"

His voice, was deep. His tone hinting at his thoughts, "Next time, sweetheart…if the kid's going to be gone for the night. You may want to lead with that information."

"Why?" The words barely escaped her lips as Andy's hand moved to cup her breast. His fingers aptly tweaking her nipple in just the right way. His other hand slid slowly down her stomach, her back automatically arched into him, her legs spreading as wide as the tub would allow. "Oh…!" She breathed. Her head rolled to the side as he bent to capture her sweet lips. She still tasted of peppermint tea and honey as she moaned into his mouth.

He savored her lips for several minutes before gently pulling away. "Bed." It wasn't a question. She pushed herself from his arms, stepping out of the tub. Before she could dry off completely he was behind her, pulling her soft curves back against him. Her towel fell to the floor as she turned in his arms. Their eyes met, his signature smirk betraying his thoughts. There would be no need to be quiet tonight. "I want to hear you." He begged, as he trailed kisses down her beautiful neck.

"Oh, you will Andy…you will."


	3. Foreign Affairs

**A/N my thoughts on episode 5.3 Foreign Affairs. No beta, all mistakes are mine.**

Gus rinsed the last plate before handing it off to Sharon. She carefully re-arranged the plates in the dishwasher one last time before closing the door and pressing the start button. "I really didn't expect you to help clean up after you cooked such a wonderful meal for us," She smiled at Gus.

"I don't mind, you and I both know he is going to be glued to that computer for the rest of the night. It's getting late." Gus glanced at his watch, "I probably should get going anyway."

Sharon tilted her head in thought, "If you will give me just a few minutes, I don't mind giving you a ride home."

"No Sharon…I couldn't ask you to do that," Gus started. "I don't want to be any trouble."

Sharon stepped across the kitchen to pause just behind the couch. "Gus, it's no trouble. Besides," she added with a shrug, "it's on my way." Gus nodded with a knowing smile as he watched her disappear down the hall.

~~~~~~SA~~~~~~

They rode in companionable silence for several miles, the radio playing softly in the background. Gus shifted in seat, his eyes drifting over to look at her in the dark car. "Can I ask you a question?" She hummed softly, he smiled at the gentle noise. He had come to realize that she does that a lot.

"Gus, you can ask me anything. You know that." Her eyes never left the road, but he knew she was waiting for him to continue.

He paused, choosing his words wisely, "What if…Rusty doesn't change his mind about this baby? What if he never gets to know his little brother or little sister? Ten or even twenty years from now I don't want him to regret a decision he made out of anger."

Sharon sighed deeply, "Hmm," There it was again, Gus thought with a soft smile. "I think we just have to give Rusty some time to…" She weighed her words carefully, "You have to remember there's a lot of history in play here. Not only is he having to deal with the fact that his mother is having another child, that in its self is enough for him to have to process, but then you add the element of the baby's father being Gary. The one person his mother chose over her own son, time and time again."

Gus let her words sink in, "I hadn't thought about it in that way."

"I'm not saying that Rusty is right, but I can't say that he is wrong either. We haven't walked in his shoes." Her voice took on a softer tone as she continued, "You didn't have the chance to know that scared young man who slept on my couch for months because he didn't want to let himself get too comfortable. Rusty has come a very long way in what is relatively a short period of time. It took a while for Rusty to trust that the fact that I would never abandon him the way his mother did. Just like it has taken him time to trust you."

"I'm still not sure he fully trusts me." Gus sighed.

"He trusts you more than he is probably capable of showing right now, but I know…he does trust you, Gus. He really does."

They rode in silence for several more miles. "Does it bother you that Andy agrees with Rusty's thoughts concerning this baby?" Gus finally asked.

For the first time since they left the condo, Sharon glanced quickly at Gus. "I'm not sure I understand…"

"Rusty said that Andy is on his side, that he agrees that the baby should be put up for adoption. That Sharon doesn't deserve a do over."

Gus smiled to himself as another hum escaped her. "If Rusty thinks that Andy is on his side, as you put it; then, no, that would not bother me. But you have to remember that Andy's point of view in this certain situation is solely based on trying to protect Rusty and in turn protect me. Does Andy actually agree one hundred percent with Rusty, no…probably not. But, I am glad that he trusts Andy enough to talk with him about this. Those two have come a long way as well."

Sharon turned into the apartment complex, coming to a stop in front of Gus's building. Gus shifted in his seat, unfastening his seatbelt. "Thanks again for the ride and the talk. It put somethings into better perspective for me." Sharon smiled, nodded her head slightly. "Tell Andy hello for me."

"Goodnight Gus." Sharon placed a soft hand on his shoulder just before he stepped from the car. She waited until he was up the stairs, disappearing around the corner before she continued on her way.

~~~~~~SA~~~~~

It was well after midnight by the time Sharon parked her car behind Andy's. With a tired sigh, she reached into the back seat for her bag before making her way down the walkway to his porch. Her time alone in the car after dropping off Gus had not been what she thought it would be. She let her mind drift into dangerous territories, now finding herself feeling a bit melancholy. She couldn't wait to snuggle in behind Andy's warm body. Just the thought of letting his scent engulf her, made her feel better. She quietly slid her key into the lock, careful not to make much noise. It had been weeks since she had set foot in Andy's house so when she stubbed her foot on a stack of boxes just inside the doorway, she instantly covered her mouth to stifle her groan. She slowly closed the door, her eyes becoming more adjusted to the dark entry hall. Dropping her bag beside the boxes she continued through the entry hall into Andy's living room. Even though the room was relatively dark, she knew instantly it was almost barren. She ran her hand across another stack of boxes just behind the couch. Her heart quickened as she moved further into the kitchen. She flipped on the single light above the sink, it's soft glow engulfing the small space. Boxes littered the counter top, some almost full, other's empty. She turned slowly, taking everything in. Her hand moved to cover her mouth, all thoughts of joining Andy in bed forgotten for the moment. She walked slowly back into living room, sitting heavily in Andy's brown leather recliner. She slipped her boots off, leaving them beside his chair. Hugging her knees to her chest, she relaxed into the soft cushions. Her eyes slipping closed, as she leaned her head back.

Her mind moved ninety to nothing as she began to replay conversations from the last few weeks over and over in her head. Yes, they had discussed moving in together. Yes, they had discussed Andy selling his house. Yes, she agreed that she was open to the idea. But she had to admit that seeing his house all packed up like this, shook her to her core. She opened her eyes looking around once again, the hot tears that began to fall did nothing more than infuriate her. Slipping her glasses off, she wiped angrily at her eyes. It wasn't that she was angry at Andy, not really, she knew deep down he meant well. The truth being, she was angry at herself for feeling somehow betrayed by the fact that he didn't tell her that he had begun packing his things. Her first instinct was to run, just get her bag and leave, after all he didn't even know she was coming. The idea of surprising him tonight had come to her while she and Gus loaded the dishwasher. But running just wasn't in her DNA, she had been run from enough in her life to know that no matter how bad she wanted to, it just simply wasn't the right thing to do.

She closed her eyes again, hoping to keep the tears at bay. She loved Andy, she has loved him for some time now, that wasn't the problem. In fact, if she was totally honest with herself, what she felt for him ran so deep that at times it petrified her. It was those thoughts that got her in trouble on the drive over. Now, sitting here alone in his recliner, faced with box after box of Andy's life being packed away for her, solely because he loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her. It was overwhelming; her breath caught in her throat, her heart raced as she let those truths take hold in her mind. She did not need a man in her life, she did not need someone to love her, she did not need anyone to take care of her, her life was good just as it was. She has an amazing family, the job she always dreamed of and yet, she let her heart be captured by her best friend. The only person besides her kids that she could be one hundred percent herself with. The one person she truly wanted in her life, yes she did not need him but she wanted him there beside her. For what other reason would she drive for almost an hour in the middle of the night just to feel the peace of sleeping curled next to him. She wanted everything he wanted, she had said that before. But it was these boxes that made her really believe what her heart had been telling her all along.

She stood slowly, leaving her glasses on the arm of his recliner, she padded down the hall pulling at her clothes as she went. His bedroom door was open, she could hear his soft sounds of sleep even before she moved past his doorway. The room was dark, but she knew her way around. She dropped her clothes on to the wingback chair in the corner. Andy lay on his back, the covers kicked to the foot as was his usual. Grabbing the corner of the sheet, she crawled onto the bed pulling it with her as she snuggled against him. He shifted slightly, his arm moving to tuck her against him. His eyes never opened, "This is a nice surprise," he mumbled as he buried his nose in her hair. "I…packed a few things…"

She chuckled despite herself, her hand moving to the center of his chest, the beat of his heart strong beneath her fingertips. "I noticed. You should have said something; I could have helped."

His hand gently squeezed her hip, "There's always tomorrow, sweetheart," his deep voice drifted through the dark night.

"Yes," She whispered, her eyes sliding closed, "tomorrow."


	4. Skin Deep

**A/N Tag to episode 5.4 Skin Deep. No beta, all mistakes are mine.**

Sharon Raydor sneezed for the fourth time in a matter of minutes. Even before she could recover, she felt Andy tenderly squeeze her knee, but it was the chuckle from the back seat that garnered most of her attention. "Yes?" she shifted slightly to look at Rusty.

"Oh, nothing," he grinned sheepishly. The raise of her eyebrow and purse of her lips told him that answer was not going to work. He looked up as Andy eyed him in the rear view mirror. Another chuckle escaped him, "Okay…okay. Mom, you do realize that it is the hand sanitizer you made us bathe in making you sneeze and not the black mold."

As the words black mold escaped Rusty's lips, Sharon unconsciously shook her hands in the air with a noticeable shiver running through her body. "Ugh, don't say it, Rusty."

Rusty's soft chuckle turned into an all-out guffaw at his mother's reaction, leaving Andy biting his tongue to keep from joining in. "See Mom, I just don't get it. You've seen thousands of dead bodies not to mention all the gross stuff that has to come along with a murder, yet a little black mold totally freaks you out."

"Rusty, I haven't seen thousands of dead bodies and I am not freaking out…Andy, tell him I don't freak out." She crossed her arms over her chest, giving Andy a pleading look.

Keeping his eyes on the road, Andy contemplated his words carefully. He had to admit that she is utterly adorable when she does freak out, so adorable, in fact, that he was having trouble wiping the grin from his face. He gently squeezed her knee again, "Rusty, don't give your mother a hard time over this. I kind'a feel a little itchy myself."

"So, you are not denying that she is, in fact freaking out." Rusty countered with a smile.

Andy shot him a look in the rear view mirror, but his eyes were still smiling, "Don't put words in my mouth. Very rarely, have I seen your Mother freak out as you keep calling it. At work, she has the uncanny ability to separate 'Sharon' from 'The Captain'. That is why she is so good at what she does." He stole a soft smile at her, as he felt her hand tighten over his. "You and I are fortunate enough to get to see 'Sharon, the Mom', 'Sharon, the girlfriend'," she blushed slightly at the word girlfriend. "Sharon, the adorable, goof-ball," he lightly chuckled.

She tenderly patted his hand, "I think he gets the picture, Andy."

"I do remember that time Mike had like a week's worth of garbage scattered all over the murder room trying to piece together where some dead guy lived. You freaked out a little over that one, or maybe that time we were reading fan fiction out loud. I seem to remember you getting just a little bit flustered," Andy grinned.

"Now is not the time, nor place to discuss fan fiction, but" She moved her hand to her nose, "I will admit, that trash smelled awful, worse than ten dead bodies," she sighed, rolling her eyes.

"I am sorry the house didn't work out," Rusty quietly admitted, "I liked it, a lot more than I thought I would."

The look of sheer happiness on Sharon's face made Andy's heart swell, "There'll be other houses. Don't worry Kid, we will find the right one." Reluctantly, he moved his hand off Sharon's knee to grip the steering wheel. "How about an early dinner?"

Sharon shifted to look back at Rusty, "I actually was planning on spending the rest of the day with Gus. He got off work early today and is off tomorrow. I mean if it's okay?"

"Of course it's okay." Sharon smiled brightly, her gazing settling on Andy briefly as she turned back around.

"How 'bout I drop you and Rusty off at the condo; I'll go pick up dinner and we can have a quiet night in?

"Hmm," she leaned her head back against the seat, "I like the sound of that."

~~~~~MC~~~~

Andy balanced two bags in one hand, sliding his key into the lock, he pushed the door open with his foot. The condo was quiet, a single lamp burning in the living room. He made his way over to the dining table placing the bags there. He could see Sharon, her back to him, standing out on the balcony, her suede jacket replaced with one of her favorite cashmere cardigans. Leaving the food for now, he moved back to the entrance hall to hang his leather jacket up and toe out of his shoes. Quietly, he slid the glass door to the balcony open, she did not turn, keeping her gaze on the city lights. He moved behind her, pulling her into the warmth of his chest, his nose automatically moving into her hair. "You're going to miss this view," his voice was soft against her cheek.

"Hmm," she moved her hands over his, leaning all her weight against him. "Emily called to see how we liked the house." Andy chuckled against her, glad he wasn't home to hear that conversation. "Did I ever tell you that Emily was very upset with me for moving here?"

She could feel Andy frown against her, "Really, why? That's not like Em."

"No it's not," She turned in his arms, in her bare feet, her head came to rest just in the crook of his neck. Her eyes drifted closed as his aroma enveloped her. "It wasn't home, that was all she could tell me, but I know there was more. It's kind of funny if I let myself think about it. In Emily's mind, the condo will never be home; Ricky, on the other hand, has no opinion at all; and then there's Rusty. The condo is the only real home he has ever known." She sighed at the feel of his kiss against the top of her head.

"Let's go in before dinner gets cold." He slowly pulled her inside, leading her to the chair at the head of the dining table. "Sit, I'll get everything we need." She smiled softly, watching him move about the kitchen before settling in beside her. He plated their food, before he spoke again, "I need to tell you something." Her eyebrows rose in question as she rested her fork against her plate. "Rusty came to me earlier, he…was concerned that maybe he is in the way."

Frowning, "In the way, how?" She whispered even though she could guess the answer.

Andy reached for her hand, their finger automatically linking together, "He needed reassurance that he has a place with us." She stared at him, her bottom lip quivered as she pulled it gently between her teeth, unable to stop her eyes from misting over.

"I…I thought he knew."

Andy squeezed her hand, "He needed to hear it from me, sweetheart. I told him it wasn't just about finding the right place for you and me, but the right place for the three of us." He reached up to catch the single tear that slid down her cheek. "It was a really nice house. I think… you were already hanging ballet pictures in your mind." He reached for her other hand as she nodded softly, their food momentarily forgotten. "I really enjoyed seeing you enthusiastic about the possibility of us moving in together. Do know how happy you make me?"

"I hope as happy as you make me." She caressed the top of his hand with her thumb. "Andy, thank you for taking that extra step to re-assure Rusty. It really means a lot to me."

"I did think he seemed excited about the house, well until the whole bla..."

"Don't say it." She pulled her hands away to cover her ears.

"Don't say what?" He grinned. "Don't say…black mold."

"Andy!" She jumped quickly from her chair. Her hands running through her hair. "Please don't say it again. I already feel like I need a shower."

Laughing, Andy sprang from his seat. Grabbing her wrist, he pulled her to him before she could get away. "Black mold…black mold." He whispered along her neck, chuckling as she squirmed against him.

"Andy!" She giggled, trying to push back from him, but his hold was firm, yet playful. "You just want to get me in the shower. Admit it."

"Maybe." He captured her lips before she could reply. Tugging on her cardigan, he slipped it off her shoulders, down her arms to flutter to the floor. Without breaking the kiss, he lifted her; the feel of her toned legs snaking around him was pure heaven. She slowly teased his bottom lip with her tongue, as her hands moved into his hair. Finally breaking the kiss, his lips continued to nip at her jaw, down her neck, while his hands finally found purchase cradling her firm butt. Slowly he walked them down the hall, dinner and toxic mold long forgotten.


	5. Cashed Out

**Tag to 5.05 Cashed out. No beta, all mistakes are mine. Thank you to all who have read, reviewed, favorited and followed, it is much appreciated.**

Andy Flynn slowly entered the condo, trying his very best to be quiet. Shrugging out of his dark grey suit coat, he hung it on the hall tree before placing his keys in the bowl on the entry table. The condo was dark, with the exception of the soft light over the kitchen sink. Toeing out of his shoes, he scooted them under the entry table and out of the way. With a deep sigh, he padded through the living room in to the kitchen. He filled a glass with water, fishing his blood pressure pill out of his pocket, he popped it into his mouth. Carrying the half full glass with him, Andy made his way to her bedroom, expecting to find his beautiful Captain sound to sleep.

A single lamp burned on the bedside table, giving the empty bedroom a dull glow. The covers were pulled back, but it was obvious she had not gotten into bed. Andy moved to the bathroom and found it empty as well. He was certain he would have noticed if she was on the balcony, but he went back to check anyway. Slowly pacing behind the sofa, Andy glanced at his watch. There was only one more place she could possibly be, but at this time of night? 'Who swims at midnight?' he thought with a sly smirk.

Apparently Sharon Raydor does, Andy stood beside the roof top pool watching her move swiftly through the water. As she neared the wall at the deep end of the pool, she executed a perfect flip turn, her beautiful, strong legs giving her the momentum to glide almost halfway across the pool before she surfaced and resumed a textbook freestyle. Despite the groan of his knees, Andy squatted by the side of the pool as she neared, hoping she would see him. She slowed, coming to a stop as her hand reached the wall. She bent backwards underwater, pushing her hair out of her face. "Hey, you're home," she smiled, ringing the water out of her hair.

He reached for her hand as she stood in front of him, immediately noticing her shriveled fingertips, "How long have you been out here?" His eyebrows raised in question, he knew how easily she could lose track of time when she was in the pool.

"I don't know; what time is it?" She gently pulled her hand way, making her way to the steps.

Andy stood, "Midnight, give or take a few minutes."

"Oh," Surprised at his answer, she paused on the top step, while Andy retrieved her towel from the nearby lounge chair. "A while, I guess." Stepping from the pool, she squeezed her hair one last time, as Andy wrapped the oversize towel around her. "Did you have fun tonight? How was Julio?"

Andy pulled her to him, despite the fact that she was dripping on his sock clad feet, "Provenza enjoyed it, Julio was…quiet." She gave him a knowing look. "More so than normal," He moved the towel along her body, "Come on let's get you dried off, it's chilly out here." After Andy was satisfied that she was dry enough, he wrapped the towel snugly around her body. She was shivering slightly by the time they reached the condo. Kissing her gently on the forehead, he smiled at the taste of salt on his lips, "Go get out that wet suit while I make some tea." She started to protest, but he was already half way to the kitchen.

Some ten minutes later, Sharon stepped from the bathroom clad in one of Andy's old LAPD sweatshirts. He looked up from his book, unable to conceal his grin. The oversized navy blue sweatshirt fell mid-thigh, accentuating her amazing legs. She stepped closer to the bed, lifting the hot mug of tea, she cradled its warmth in her hands before taking a sip. She sat on the bed facing Andy, careful not to spill her tea. She met his eyes and he could instantly tell the swim had not settled whatever was on her mind. He reached out, gently tugging at her knee so that she would move closer. He slipped the mug from her hand, taking a careful sip, as she scooted next to him. He held the hot mug out to her, but she shook her head no, so he placed it on his bedside table. She hugged her knees to her chest, her toes edging under Andy's upper thigh.

"Penny for your thoughts," he moved his hand gently up her smooth leg.

"Julio." Was her only reply.

"Hmm." Andy nodded, he wasn't surprised at her reply. "Do you think Cynthia will approve him?"

She shifted slightly, moving her legs across his lap, "I honestly don't know. What do you think?"

"I think," Andy trailed his hand across the top of her foot, "Julio will be an amazing father, better than I ever thought about being."

Her hand moved to cradle the side his face, "Andy, don't." He relaxed his cheek into her hand, "Your kids love you dearly. Yes, you made mistakes but who hasn't. What's important is that you learned from your mistakes."

"Unlike Jack," Her sigh was audible as he continued. "Can I ask you a question? There's something that has been bothering me all week."

Confusion washed over her features, her hand dropping into her lap, "Of course, you can always ask me anything."

"I…" He paused searching for the right way to voice what was on his mind, "Was surprised that you knew so much about Jack and his arrangements with the Kotero's. I always assumed…that when he would disappear you didn't really know where he was or for that matter, what he was doing." He felt her stiffen, immediately regretting bringing the subject of Jack and his gambling up. Before he could stop her, Sharon moved her legs quickly off his lap, scooting to the opposite side of the bed, her back to him. "I'm sorry, It's none of my business," Andy started.

She stood slowly, her arms crossing tightly over her chest, "No, it's a valid question." She began to pace slowly in front of the bed. Andy moved to get up, but she shook her head 'no.' So, he settled back against the headboard, his heart heavy with regret. "I sometimes forget that I know basically everything there is to know about you and your past." She stopped to look at him, "And yet, you only know the little bits and pieces that I have chosen to share about my life…about my past. I am sorry for that, it's not that I want to hide anything from you. It's just easier if… I don't let myself go there."

"I'm sorry sweetheart," He sat up straighter, "Just forget I said…"

"I learned a very long time ago," She quietly interrupted, "that it was in my best interest to know exactly where Jack was and with whom he was involved, especially if he was living in L.A."

"Okay," Andy breathed, as he watched her pace in slow circles. "Did something happen?"

She nodded, not able to meet his eyes, "Yes." Her hand moved to wipe at her face and he suddenly realized she was crying. "When I was pregnant with Ricky, Jack disappeared about six weeks before he was born. At first, I didn't know where he was or even if he was still alive. The night Ricky was born, two men came to the house looking for Jack. It was late, Emily was asleep in her room, I had worked for eighteen hours straight so I had fallen asleep on the sofa. I was just so…stupid. You might could blame exhaustion, but there was still no excuse for what I did." Her voice trailed off, as she finally met Andy's gaze once again. The pain and fear in her eyes tore at Andy's heart. Ignoring the soft shake of her head, he quickly moved, pulling her tightly into his arms. Her resistance was futile as he lifted her to his chest before settling back on the bed. He once again leaned against the headboard, cradling her in his lap.

She relaxed against him, her head rested in the crook of his neck, his calming scent enveloping her. She laced her fingers through his before she continued, "The banging on the front door was so loud, it startled me from a deep sleep. I didn't even think, I just hurried to the door and opened it. The next thing I knew I was pinned to the wall with a gun in my face. I was so thankful that Emily is such a sound sleeper. She never knew what happened that night, well except for the fact that her little brother came a few weeks early."

"Did they hurt you?" Andy's voice was low against her hair.

"Hmm, they mainly wanted money and Jack's whereabouts. I didn't have any money; he had taken every dime when he disappeared. I gave them what little bit of jewelry I had, my wedding set and a pair of earrings Jack gave me when Emily was born."

"Did they hurt you?" Andy repeated, shifting her ever so slightly so he could see her face.

"It was the most terrifying night of my life," She slowly met his gaze and the darkened green of her beautiful eyes answered his question, "I promised myself if I lived, if my baby lived…we would never pay for Jack's mistakes again. We were all very lucky that night. Eventually, I was able to call Gavin, he got me to the hospital and kept Emily occupied until my sister arrived. Ricky was born via emergency C-section, and he was absolutely perfect." She smiled softly, "The next day, I hired a private investigator that Gavin uses from time to time. I've kept him and now his son on retainer all these years."

"I'm sorry…" She placed her finger to his lips to quiet him.

"No, Andy…" Her eyes pleaded with him, "Don't be sorry for what happened in my past or in yours. You know as well as I do, that we can't change it. We can only look forward, together."

"Together." He repeated softly.

His lips moved to cover hers as they slowly scooted down on the bed. Hating to break contact with him, she rolled to her side, reaching to turn off the bedside lamp before settling once again against the warmth and safety of his chest. Her feet moved between his knees, while his hand slid down her hip, his fingers coming to rest just under the band of her panties. Her eyes drifted closed, as did his but both of their minds continued to stir with new information shared. She didn't like to visit the demons of her past, but she knew Andy deserved an honest answer. In truth, it felt good to finally have someone who wasn't afraid to ask the hard questions. Someone she could share the difficult answers with, someone she could trust with her whole heart.

Minutes passed before he felt her relax against him, the last bit of tension from their earlier talk finally evaporating. He marveled at the incredibly strong woman cradled in his arms, she deserved so much more than Jack Raydor ever gave her. Andy nestled his nose into her hair. She had given him another piece of her heart tonight, proving just how much she trusted him, how deeply she loves him. He sighed, holding her even tighter. His mind finally finding that sense of peace they could share together.


	6. Tourist Trap

**Tag to 5.06 Tourist Trap. No beta, all mistakes are mine. I apologize for running behind on updates, hopefully I can catch up before Monday night.**

 **Thank you to all who have encouraged me to continue.**

Andy Flynn couldn't hide the grin that slipped across his face at the sight of Sharon's car parked in his dark driveway. When he left the murder room for his meeting almost three hours earlier, she had still been celebrating Mike along with the rest of the team. Placing his car in park, Andy shut the engine off before grabbing his suit coat and tie from the passenger's seat. With a swing in his step, Andy hurried for the front door. Upon entering, the house was quiet, only a small lamp shown bright in the hallway. Locking the door behind him, Andy headed straight for his bedroom, his heart beating fast in hope of finding Sharon waiting for him in bed.

Frowning slightly at the empty bed, Andy noticed a sliver of soft light shining through the partially closed bathroom door. Quickly, he slipped out of his shoes, socks, pants and blue dress shirt. Clad only in navy plaid boxers and a white undershirt, Andy softly padded into the steam filled bathroom, the sweet smell of lemon filling the air. He paused just inside the door, the exquisite site before him stopping him in his tracks. The only light that shone in the bathroom came from several candles scattered about the open space. The one closest to the tub, lit a soft glow across her serene face. Her eyes were closed, her head rested on towel leaning against the edge of the tub. Her beautiful auburn hair twisted high on top of her head, her face devoid of the makeup that had been there hours earlier. He longed to trace the smattering of freckles that danced across her cheeks and nose. His eyes drifted lower to her perfect breast resting just below the water's surface.

"You're staring." Her voice was low, yet full of adoration for him.

"You're so damn gorgeous." Stepping closer, he balanced himself just on the edge of the tub, unable to stop himself, his finger traced along the edge of her jaw. "This is a nice surprise."

She smiled, her eyes slowly opening, the mossy green that met his dark chestnut shown bright in the candle light, "Your bath tub was calling my name, I just didn't have the strength to ignore it."

"Remind me later to thank my bathtub," that lopsided grin she loved so much taking her breath away. "Mind if I join you?"

"I'd be disappointed if you didn't," Smiling, her eyes traced over him as he quickly shed the rest of his clothing. Stepping into the tub, he slowly sank down into the calming water, settling between her legs, his head coming to rest just above her right breast. He remembered back to the very first time they shared a bath together. He had expected her to lean back into him but she had insisted that she wanted to be the one to hold him and he had to admit that there was no greater feeling on earth than to be captured in the warmth of the fragrant water with her magnificent legs wrapped tightly around him.

A deep sigh escaped him, "Mike seemed to be surprised tonight."

Her soft "hmm," vibrated against his ear. Her hands danced across his chest playing with the thick patch of salt and pepper hair there.

"What is it?" He questioned lightly, "you seem to have something on your mind."

She took the few beats of silence to find the right words, "I wish…no, I just thought that… you would be happy for Mike and his success with Badge…"

"I'm happy!" Andy interrupted.

She felt him tense in her arms, "Shh," she soothed, "Andy…" Her legs moved tighter around him, as her fingers began to move in a gentle circle against his chest.

"Seriously, Sharon…I can be happy for Mike and…disgusted by Badge all at the same time." The chuckle that escaped her came as a surprise to Andy so he shifted his head to look at her. "And you find this funny because…"

She bent forward, a tender kiss coming to rest against the side of his head. "I love you, have I said that before?"

"Maybe," he pouted slightly.

Another chuckle vibrated against his back, "Rusty said those exact words to me, not so very long ago."

"About Badge?" Andy shifted to look at her again.

"No," Rolling her eyes, she swatted playfully against his chest, "About you and me…He said he could be happy for me and disgusted by you all at the same time. Andy…" He gently traced his fingers down the toned muscles of her calf. "Remember what it felt like before…Rusty was fully on board with this, with us." She pulled him closer, her voice dipping an octave. "Remember how each eye roll and grimace made you wonder if we were doing the right thing?"

She felt his head tilt back against her, his hands coming to cover his face, "Aww, shit," he mumbled. "I've been a real jerk, haven't I?"

"Maybe, just a little." She whispered against his ear.

"Why didn't you say something?" He started.

"It was cute at first… I still think you're really cute." She ran her fingers across his chest, "And handsome…" She tweaked at his nipple, "And oh, so sexy." He couldn't stifle the low groan that escaped him. Her legs slipped from around him as he turned to look at her.

"Sexy huh?" he grinned.

"Oh yeah." Her eyes met his and the desire he saw reflected there still surprised him sometimes.

In one swift move, Andy pushed up from the sides of the tub. Once on his feet, he pulled a towel from the nearby shelf and began to dry off. Stepping from the tub, he wrapped the towel around his waist before turning to offer Sharon his hand. She didn't wait for him to dry her off completely before she pushed herself into his arms, intent on capturing his mouth. Both towels fell as he lifted her flush to his chest, her legs automatically snaking around his waist. He nibbled along the side of her beautiful, long neck as he slowly walked them into his bedroom, placing her gently on the edge of the bed. His hands wandered slowly down her firm body before coming to palm both of her breast. The feel of his strong hands gently teasing her still damp nipples was almost too much. She automatically arched into him as her hands sought the stability of the bed. Her head slowly rolled back as a moan escaped her lips. He could easily get lost in the gentle touch of her body, in the deep sighs of her breath. Slowly they made love, their bodies becoming one until they both fell over the edge.

Later that night, as she slept snuggly against his chest, he couldn't help but marvel at the woman who was now such an important part of his life. Every day she accepted him solely for who he was, every day he promised himself that he would do his very best to never let her down, every day the depth of their love and understanding for each other grew.


	7. Moral Hazard

**Tag to 5.07 Moral Hazard. No beta, all mistakes are mine. Just a warning this chapter contains panic brought on by a nightmare so you may want to skip if that kind of thing bothers you.**

Her tired green eyes followed the flow of white wine as it swirled into her glass. Cell phone balanced on her shoulder, Sharon Raydor listened as Patrice filled her in on how the Lieutenant was feeling. "I'm glad he's resting well, Patrice. Please don't tell him I called to check in on him," She smiled. "I don't need him holding that against me."

She could hear Patrice chuckle from the other end of the phone, "Don't worry Sharon, your secret is safe with me. Tell Andy I said goodnight."

"Oh…" Sharon took a small sip of wine, "Andy's not here."

"But I thought we saw you two leaving together," Patrice questioned.

"You did…we did. He…um. A young man Andy sponsors called and need him tonight."

"But Rusty's there with you?"

Sharon frowned slightly, "No…Rusty is with Gus tonight. Patrice, why all the questions. I'm perfectly fine here by myself."

Silence filled the air as Patrice weighed her words, "I'm not saying that…exactly. It's just, today was a very trying day for everyone. I know you are excellent at your job and…you seem to be able to compartmentalize everything in order to keep work and home life separate, but Sharon today your entire team came under heavy gun…"

"Patrice…" Sharon interrupted, "I appreciate your concern, I really do, but I'm fine. I promise. Take good care of the Lieutenant…and have a good night." Sharon quickly ended the call even before Patrice could respond. Placing her phone face down on the kitchen counter next to her glasses, she cradled the wine glass in both hands for several moments before quickly downing its contents. Turning she placed the empty glass beside the sink. Reaching for the bottle, she stepped toward the refrigerator but stopped just before her hand touched the handle. She looked back at the empty glass, then down at the bottle still in her hand. With a deep sigh, she moved back to the sink, uncorked the bottle and poured another glass, this one not quite as full as the previous one.

Wine in one hand, Sharon moved through the condo turning lights off and checking the locks. Walking straight through the bedroom into the on-suite bathroom, she took another sip of wine before placing the glass on the counter. Slowly she undressed, letting each piece of clothing drop to the floor. She looked at the bathtub, considering a bath, but decided a nice hot shower would do the trick.

Taking a few more sips of wine she waited for the water into warm before stepping into the steaming shower. The water was almost too hot, yet it felt good against the tight muscles of her neck and back. She raised one hand to the tiled wall, leaning forward she allowed the torrent of water to wash over her. Her eyes closed, her mind drifting back to earlier in the day. "No," she mumbled to herself as the sound of gun shots played in her mind. She could not, no…she would not let herself go there. With a frown, she reached for the shampoo bottle and in her haste everything on the small shower ledge tumbled to the floor. "Damn-it!" Slowly she knelt, gathering up the offending bottles one by one. Realizing that her relaxing shower just wasn't going to happen, Sharon quickly washed and conditioned her hair before shutting the water off.

Some fifteen minutes later, Sharon lay in the dark across the foot of her bed clad in black panties and a black tank top, her still damp hair twisted on top of her head. The headache that had been swimming behind her eyes all evening was now pounding at full force, making her regret that second glass of wine even more. She pulled Andy's green robe tighter, her nose slipping just below the edge of the soft fabric, she willed his calming scent to wash over her as she imagined that she was snuggled safe in his embrace.

~~~~~~SA~~~~~

 _She gripped the silent radio tightly in her left hand while holding her heels in the crook of her arm, quickly she took the stairs, climbing toward her team still two floors above her. With only one flight left, a barrage of gun fire crackled over the radio. Her heart caught in her throat as she continued forward, the Lieutenant's voice filled the space around her, "Officer down…Officer down…god-damn-it Flynn!" It was as if time had stopped as she slipped silently from the stairwell into the bullet-ridden hotel hallway, the acrid smell of gunfire still filling the air. Her shoes slid from her grip, bouncing against the carpeted floor. She could hear voices shouting all around her but none of their words made sense. Her eyes locked on the bloody sight several feet in front of her, she knew instantly she was too late, his dark chestnut eyes would never see her again. The radio slipped from her hand, the scream bubbling up from deep inside her, "No, No!"_

Sharon bolted upright on the edge of the bed, unsure for several moments of exactly where she was. A cold, damp sweat covered her body, her hair sticking across her cheek and forehead. She struggled to catch her breath, "just a dream, it was just a dream," she mumbled over and over in hopes of calming herself. She reached out in the dark for Andy's robe, but she couldn't find it. She stood, somewhat unsteady as a wave of nausea washed over her. She stumbled for the bathroom, making it to the toilet just in time. Once her stomach was empty, she slowly stood. Turning on the bathroom light, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She removed the clip that held some of her hair up, with shaking hands she ran her fingers through the loose curls before securing it in a loose bun on top of her head. Splashing cool water against her tearstained face, she then reached for her toothbrush. The minty taste threatened to turn her stomach, but she willed herself to push forward. Once back in her bedroom she picked Andy's robe from the floor, cradling it against her shivering body.

She sat heavily on the bench at the foot of her bed, it had been a while since she had last had a nightmare that shook her so deeply, but she could in fact remember exactly when the last one was. The day Andy told her about his blood clot still haunted her. That night, even with him just down the hall, the most vivid of nightmares chased her from sleep. She had spent the rest of that night and many nights after that listening to Andy sleep from the hard floor of Rusty's bedroom. Her love for Andy scared her at times, she never expected to fall so deeply in love with this man, but she had and there was no turning back from it now.

Slowly she began to pace, unable to shake the uneasiness brought on by her nightmare. She went to her closet, pulling on a pair of jeans and Andy's old LAPD sweatshirt, she slipped her feet into her worn black flip flops. Moving back to the bedside table she searched for her phone, before remembering that she left in the kitchen earlier. Turning lights on as she went, Sharon made her way to the kitchen. Her phone rested beside her glasses on the counter, lifting it, the text that he sent less than two hours before brought tears to her eyes;

Goodnight sweetheart, love and miss you. -A.

As the tears slid slowly down her cheeks, she knew what she had to do. Slipping her phone into her back pocket, she headed for the door. Once in the hallway she realized that she didn't have her glasses, but she didn't have the patience to go back for them. She stood, eyes fixed to the floor as she waited for the elevator. She swallowed hard, trying to stem the tears that continued to fall. Her hands balled into tight fists, Sharon's eyes slipped closed for a brief moment until the soft ding of the elevator won her attention. As the elevator doors slowly slid open she stood suspended in time, unable to believe her eyes. Andy stood against the back wall of the elevator, his surprised eyes slowly moving up her body until they reached her tearstained face. In one swift movement, he stepped from the elevator, quickly pulling her into his arms. "What's wrong? Is it Rusty?" The panic in his voice was palpable, yet she couldn't speak, instead she shook her head against him. "Emily? Ricky?"

"No." She whispered softly. Burying her face into the crook of his neck, he could feel her hot tears sliding down his neck to his chest.

"Come on." Gently he guided her back to the condo. She stood motionless as he unlocked the door and lead her inside. "Sharon, you're scaring me here. Please tell me what's wrong, where were you going?"

She shook her head as small sob escaped her, unsure of what to do, Andy pulled her back into his arms gently rocking them back and forth. They stood there for what seemed like forever until finally she pushed back to look at him. The love and concern that shown in his eyes filled her heart with hope, finally replacing the fear that had taken root there. Without speaking she lead him down the hall, Andy studied the unmade bed as they entered the bedroom, his old green robe still resting on the bench at the foot of the bed.

Slowly she began to undress, with Andy silently following her lead. She sat on the edge of the bed while he walked into the bathroom. His eyes taking in everything before him, her work clothes scattered over the floor, the empty wine glass still on the vanity. "Damn," he ran his hands across his face. He should have realized the events of the previous day had gotten to her more than she could ever admit. Quickly he picked up her clothes from the floor, turning he grabbed the empty glass on his way out of the bathroom. She still sat on the edge bed, staring at the floor. "I'll be right back." He didn't wait for her reply, making his way through the condo, Andy stopped in the laundry room, sorting the clothes into the appropriate baskets. Once in the kitchen, he rinsed the wine glass before placing it in the dishwasher. He filled a glass with water, downing it in two large gulps, his eyes drifting to her forgotten glasses sitting on the counter top. Filling the glass again, he sat it on the counter while he reached for the bottle of Tylenol in the cabinet next to the sink. Shaking three capsules from the bottle, he picked up the glass of water, before moving through the condo turning lights off.

Sharon still sat on the edge of the bed, but he took it as a good sign that she had pulled the cover back. Andy quietly moved to kneel in front of her. Holding the capsules out she took them from his upturned palm. Her hands shook slightly as she lifted the glass to her mouth. She handed the half full glass back to him, "thank you," she smiled softly.

Moving around to his side of the bed, Andy turned the bedside lamp off before settling down on his back. He gently pulled her to him, her head coming to lay on his chest, her hand slipping down his stomach to rest just under the waist band of his boxers. "Why did you come back?" Her voice was so soft he strained to make out her words.

His fingers automatically drew soft circles on her hip, "I couldn't sleep, I missed you, I…need to hold you." She sighed deeply against him. "Where were you going?" His voice was deep against her ear.

"To find you." Her breath caught in her throat, as the tears threatened to came once again.

"Hey…" he gently soothed. "I'm here, we're both fine."

"I know…I just…had a really bad dream and I couldn't stop…" She sobbed softly against his chest, "It seemed so… real."

He bent down, kissing the top of her head, "Sweetheart, it was just a dream. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you."

"I know; I keep telling myself that." She pulled away from the warmth of his chest to roll to her side. Within seconds, he was behind her, his arms pulling her flush with his body.

"Promise me one thing?" His tone soft, but serious.

"Anything."

"Next time you decide to look for me in the middle of the night, call me first, just to make sure that I'm not already on my way here. What if we had missed each other tonight? Just the thought of you being on the road that upset…"

"I know…" She pulled his hand to her chest, "It was stupid…I was stupid. I just couldn't stand another second not knowing if you were okay." She rolled in his arms, intent on capturing his lips. "I love you… I love you so much it scares me sometimes."

"I love you too." His lips found hers in the dark morning surrounding them. Their kiss was slow, deep, filled with the fear and passion coursing through both of them. He could kiss her like this forever he thought with a gentle moan. He leaned in capturing her lips again, "Think you can sleep now?"

"Maybe." She kissed him one last time before moving back to allow him to spoon behind her.

Her feet moved to their favorite spot just between his knees, his hand coming to rest flat across her stomach. He listened for a long time, waiting for her breathing to even out into the soft sounds of sleep. He wouldn't ask her the details of her dream for he could more than guess the sights and sounds that haunted her for they were the same that haunted him.


	8. Off the Wagon

**Tag to 5.08 Off the Wagon. No beta, all mistakes are mine. Just a little much needed Shandy fluff that may be borderline M.**

Glancing at her watch for the umpteenth time, Sharon Raydor hurried from her car to the elevator. She couldn't believe she let the evening get away from her so quickly, of course she had spent a good chunk of time on the phone with Nicole and then Rusty before she finally left her office. Upon entering the condo, she was surprised to find the television off and the couch empty. After hanging her purse by the entry table, she moved down the hall in search of Andy but he wasn't in her bedroom either. Walking back through the living room she caught sight of him through the glass windows of the balcony. As she moved closer to the balcony door she realized with a soft smile that he was asleep. So many times she wished that she could fall asleep as easily as he could, this wasn't the first time she had found him dozing on the comfortable chaise lounge. She turned, moving back to her bedroom, intent on getting more comfortable before she joined him on the balcony.

Clad only in her pale blue panties, she stood at the bathroom vanity slowly going through her nightly beauty regime, her mind drifting back to her phone call with Nicole. It warmed her heart to see the love and concern Nicole now has for her father. The two have certainly come along way and Sharon felt blessed to be witness to their ever growing relationship. With a small smile she padded back into her bedroom, opening the middle drawer of her dresser she fingered through the lingerie there until she found the dark royal blue silk spaghetti strap nightie she had been saving for a special occasion. She turned, intent on slipping the soft silk over her head when something on the bench at the foot of her bed caught her eye. She stepped closer, lifting the dark grey cotton to her nose. Her eyes eased closed as she drew in the scent that was only Andy Flynn. The tattered, long sleeve LAPD t-shirt was one of his favorites and she had to admit she too loved the way the worn cotton felt against her fingertips. She slipped the shirt over her head, letting it's feel envelope her. Yes, this is the right choice for tonight she thought a sly tilt of her head. Carefully, she folded the dark silk and placed it back into the middle drawer.

The gentle glide of the balcony door opening rousted Andy from his peaceful slumber, as he turned toward the sound he couldn't hide the grin that instantly lit across his features. His eyes moved slowly down her magnificent body, unable to look away from where his t-shirt ended and her legs began. She stepped closer as he reached for her. Lightly he held to her hand, watching intently as she straddled him before sitting slowly down in his lap. His hands moved to her sides, pulling her to him, he captured her lips in a chaste kiss.

"What time is it?" his voice was rough from sleep.

"Late." She whispered against his cheek. "You okay?" She leaned back to study his face.

"Fine, I talked with Nic on the way home."

"I know, she called me after the two of you spoke."

His fingers gently began to trace along her jawline, "I love the fact that she knows she can talk with you about anything."

Catching his hand in hers, she brought his fingers to her mouth, peppering the back of his hand with soft kisses. "She was worried about you, we both are."

"I'm good, I promise." His hand slipped from her slight grasp, moving down her sides, he slowly slid under the bottom of his old t-shirt to caress the soft skin of her waist. He traced up her ribcage on both sides, drawing lazy circles there.

She leaned back, a soft sigh escaping her. "Andy…" The breathless quality of her voice washed over him, encouraging further exploration by his fingers. His left hand moved behind her back while his right made purchase with her breast, gently palming her soft mound.

Leaning forward again, she traced his jaw with warm kisses before finally moving to his ear. Her tongue danced along his earlobe as a loud moan escaped him. His mouth sought out hers with an urgency that filled them both. He still tasted of cranberry as she sucked his bottom lip between her teeth, gently nipping against him. His fingers tweaked at her hardened nipple causing a deep shiver to run through her. Her hands moved into his hair, pulling him even closer. Finally breaking the intoxicating kiss, her head fell back against her shoulder as she ground into him.

"I want you," the desire in her bright green eyes burned through him. He was ready to take her right then and there but he knew she would never let him make love to her on the balcony. Lifting her carefully from his lap, he helped her to stand, his eyes moving back to her long, beautiful legs as his shirt rose higher. She waited while he gathered his empty glass and the book he had long forgotten. Hand in hand they made their way through the condo to her bedroom.

She reached to pull the old t-shirt over her head, but he placed a gentle hand on her side to stop her. "Not yet, I wanna do that." Giving him a knowing look, she reached for his belt buckle instead.

Completely naked, Andy settled on the edge of the bed while she stood in front of him. His hands moved once again under the hem of his t-shirt but this time his slowly peeled the soft blue lace of her underwear down her never ending legs.

Pulling her onto his lap, his lips brushed across her jawline and down her neck. She pulled at the t-shirt yet again, but he stopped her with a teasing grin. "No…not yet." The outline of her hard nipples were visible against the soft grey cotton surrounding her but she longed to feel his mouth against her.

"Please, Andy…" her eyes begging him for release.

He moved them backwards to the middle of the bed. Lying flat on his back, the moist heat of her body straddling him was like heaven on earth. Her hands moved to the middle of his chest, resting in the tangle of salt and pepper hair there. Their eyes met as his hands came to rest on her waist. "I love you." His whisper was so low it rattled against her ears.

"I love you, too." Her eyes filled, as a single tear slid slowly down her cheek only to be caught by his thumb. Her eyes slipped closed, reveling in the feel of his fingers tracing along her cheek while his other hand drew soft circles along her hip.

Her eyes were still closed when she finally felt him tug at the tattered, old t-shirt. Quickly, with little effort he had it over her head, down her arms, only to toss it towards the foot of the bed. She leaned back, her hands resting on his upper thighs. He knew what she wanted, what she was waiting for but he was content on taking in the view and making her wait just a little while longer. His fingers traced slowly down her neck, along the valley between her breast. He was careful not to apply too much pressure as he worked his way to her belly button. She shivered against him as he started a trek back up her sides and along her ribcage. He avoided her breasts once again, this time tracing the smattering of freckles just below her collar bone.

The strangled sigh that escaped her sent a flash of desire straight through him. He cradled his hands behind her lower back, pulling her slowly to him, his mouth finally making the contact she longed for. He moved back slightly, his breath cool as he softly blew against her wet nipple. With a soft moan of his name, she bucked against him and he couldn't stifle the soft chuckle that rumbled from deep within him. There was nothing in life that could have prepared him for how she made him feel. Just knowing that she trusted him completely, that she allowed him to see her at her best and at her worst, made him want to laugh, to cry, to hold and love her forever.


	9. Family Law

**Tag to 5.09 Family Law. No beta, all mistakes are mine. Thanks to all for your continued support of this little story of mine.**

Blazer thrown over her shoulder, Sharon Raydor carefully weaved through the crowd of people congregated around the lively bar area, she could barely see Andrea Hobbs waiting for her across the noisy restaurant. "Sorry I'm late," she called as she drew near to her dear friend.

"Do you want to sit outside on the patio? It's so loud in here." Andrea frowned.

"I would love that," with a knowing smile, Sharon followed Andrea back through the throng of people.

A few minutes later they were finally settled in at a small table near the back of the patio. "So, I hear congratulations are in order," Andrea started, a bright smile covering her face.

"Congratulations for?" Sharon frowned in wonder.

"Andy sold his house!"

Sharon's eyes grew wide in surprise, "How did you hear about…never mind, I don't even want to know."

Andrea chuckled softly at the shocked expression on her friend's face, "I will never divulge my sources, but I would have paid good money to see your face when he announced it in the middle of electronics."

"Oh you're good!" Sharon's eyebrows rose as a soft smirk formed on her lips.

"So are you excited?"

"I…"

"Sorry to interrupt ladies, my name is Lucas," the young blonde waiter started, "May I get you something to drink?"

Andrea looked over to Sharon before ordering, "I'll have a glass of the house Cabernet."

"Pellegrino with lime," Sharon leaned back in her chair, her hand running absentmindedly through her hair.

Andrea's eyes narrowed as she studied her friend intently until the waiter walked away, "And you're drinking sparkling water because?"

With a soft shrug, Sharon attempted to change the subject, "I thought Gavin was joining us?"

The sound of Andrea's hand hitting the top of the table was louder than she intended it to be, "Sharon O'Dwyer Raydor Flynn, you have ignored every question I've asked!"

"Flynn! Andrea, I am not…Andy and I are not…Andrea!" she stammered.

"Well at the least I got your attention," Andrea laughed. "You may not be officially a Flynn, but I know you." Andrea pointed, "You would not remotely consider moving in with Andy unless you were all in, so to speak."

"I can be 'all in' with Andy without getting married."

"Okay sweetie, keep telling yourself that." Picking up the wine glass the waiter just placed in front of her, "Sure you don't want a glass of wine?"

Rolling her eyes, Sharon took a small sip of sparkling water, "I still have a bit of a drive ahead of me, so no wine for me tonight, besides you know I prefer white."

"You're driving to Andy's house tonight?" A broad smile lit Andrea's features, "Oh, I see."

Once again a small smirk moved across Sharon's lips as she crossed her arms over her chest, "I'm sorry to say, it is not nearly as scandalous as you are insinuating. There's a lot we need to talk about. I don't know any of the details about his house selling and I don't want to discuss that over the phone."

Andrea studied her friend, after a few beats she posed her question from earlier, "But you are excited?"

Taking another sip of water, "Yes, I am."

"But?" Andrea questioned.

Sharon slowly shook her head, not meeting Andrea's eyes, "No buts, really. I'm just… being…cautious, I guess you could say."

"Fuck cautious!"

"Shh! Andrea!" Sharon quickly looked around to see if anyone was listening.

"Do you love him?" Andrea pressed.

"What?" the irritation flashed across her green eyes.

"Do… you… love… Andy?"

"Loving Andy…" A small chuckle escaped Sharon's lips, her fingers gently tracing along the table cloth, "is the easy part, well it was once I finally admitted to myself that I do love him, that I have loved him for some time now. I'm not scared of loving him, if that's what you are asking me."

Andrea took a sip of wine, processing Sharon's words, "Then what are you scared of?" Sharon shrugged her shoulders, letting silence fill the small area around them. "Well, there's no question that he is madly in love with you."

"But is loving each other beyond respite enough? Our jobs…"

"Stop…" Andrea quietly interrupted. "Yes, you fell in love with your best friend; yes, you fell in love with your Lieutenant, your subordinate. Who the hell cares? The LAPD doesn't, your boss doesn't, your division doesn't. Your children are thrilled for you. So for once in your life, throw caution to the wind and live for you. Sharon, you deserve to be happy, to be loved the way that I know Andy loves you."

Looking away from her friend, Sharon slowly lifted her glasses from her face, placing them on the pale blue napkin still folded on the table in front of her, "Do I?"

The paleness of Sharon's green eyes startled Andrea when their eyes finally met, "What's really going on here. What is really eating at you, because I know it is not self-doubt. Don't even try to go there with me."

Leaning forward, Sharon rested her chin in her hand. "What if I lose him?" Her voice was so low, Andrea strained to hear her, "That is what really terrifies me about this whole thing. And it's not something that I didn't know going into this, I thought I could handle it. I thought I was strong enough, but now… He risks his life for the people of this city every single day. I… send him into danger, every single day. I don't think I could bear not having him by my side… What if I give every ounce of my being to him and then suddenly he's gone?"

"What if you don't?" Andrea reached out for her friend's hand. "What's that old saying? I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful, than a lifetime of nothing special. Take however many minutes, months, years, you're given with Andy and cherish each and every second. Damn-it…Sharon." Andrea stood suddenly, before Sharon even had time to respond. She quickly placed a few bills on the table.

"What are you doing?" Sharon questioned.

"Come on, get up." Andrea tugged on Sharon's arm.

Sharon grabbed for her glasses, quickly righting them on her face, "Have you gone mad?"

"Maybe just a little," she chuckled as she led her confused friend out to the valet. "The clock starts now, sweetie. Go…there's someone special waiting on you and I don't want you to waste another minute."

"But…"

Andrea pulled Sharon into a tight hug. "Go." She could feel Sharon nodding against her shoulder.

Sharon stepped back, wiping at her cheek, she smiled softly at her good friend. "Thank you."

Andrea pulled her phone from her pocket as she watched her friend drive off into the bright lights of the city. She dialed the last number in her call history, the deep voice answering on the third ring, "Hey it's me," Andrea smiled, "She's on her way to you now, just wanted to let you know." Andrea listened for a few beats, "Hey Andy? I know you will, but take good care of her, okay?" Slipping her phone back into her pocket, Andrea turned, walking back through the restaurant to the small table on the patio. She waved the waiter over ordering another glass of wine while she waited on Gavin for they had much to discuss tonight.

~~~~~~~~SA~~~~~~~~

Andy paced along the small foyer just off his front door, he moved to the window for the fourth time in the last fifteen minutes. Peering through the blinds he found his driveway still empty. He checked his phone again, knowing she should have been to his house over an hour ago. It took every ounce of strength he had not to call her, fifteen more minutes he decided and then he would call.

He heard the car turn into his driveway before he saw the flash of her headlights skim through the blinds. Andy was out the front door and down the front steps before he realized that it wasn't Sharon's car stopped in his driveway. His heart lurched into his throat when his mind finally registered the black and white patrol car stopped in front of him. He let out the deep breath he didn't realize he was holding when she stepped from the front passenger door. Silently she closed the door and started toward him, purse on one shoulder, her blazer cradled over her arm. Even in the darkened driveway he could see the black smudges on her hands and across her right cheek. As she neared he realized her hose was ripped on her left knee and her pencil skirt was filthy.

"What the hell happened?" He reached to pull her to him.

"Flat tire. I got it changed and then the spare was flat." She leaned heavily against him. "Hmm, you smell so good." She wrinkled her nose, "I'm sorry if I stink."

Unable to let her go, Andy slowly led her into the house, "I was worried sick. You should have called me."

"How did you even know I was…Oh." She shook her head knowingly, "Andrea…"

Andy shrugged, "She may have called me when you left the restaurant. Don't be mad…"

"I'm not mad, Andy." Laying her jacket and purse atop the boxes stacked just to the right of the front door, she balanced herself on Andy's arm while she removed her heels. Her fingers tugging her dark green tee over her head as she padded slowly down the hall to his bedroom. Clad only in her skirt and black bra she turned back to look at Andy who had yet to move. "Aren't you coming? All I've dreamed of for the last couple of hours is the feel of your hands in my hair."

Locking the door, Andy flipped the lights off as he hurried down the hall. By the time he reached the bathroom, she stood at the shower door completely naked. She turned, watching Andy undress as they waited for the water to warm. Her eyes moved slowly over his body until mossy green met deep chestnut, the love reflected there threatened to take her breath away. Andrea was right, she decided in that very moment. From today forward, she would savor every single second they had together. And, while she would still worry what the future held, she would not let her fears dictate her life or the love they shared.


	10. Dead Zone

**Tag to 5.10 Dead Zone. No beta, all mistakes are mine.**

 **A/N Honestly, I struggled with this chapter. The episode was so AMAZING it really does not need much follow up. I hope I did it justice.**

The night air was cool, but Sharon Raydor felt numb inside and out. Standing barefoot in black leggings and the blue blouse she wore to work, she gazed out over the city lights, cradling a lukewarm mug of peppermint tea with both hands. The sound of the glass door sliding open somewhat eased the pressure in her chest, but it wasn't until his hands slid around her, coming to rest tightly across her stomach that she was finally able to breathe deeply. They leaned into each other, Andy's head resting on her shoulder, his nose meandering into her hair, seeking out her comforting scent. "How are you?" He asked against the side of her neck.

"Fine." She rolled her cheek against his. "You still smell like smoke."

"Yeah, I know. My damn ears won't quit ringing either." He tugged gently on her hip, "Join me for a shower?"

Placing the mug on the small table beside her, she turned in his arms, her fingers instantly tracing up and down his tie, while his hands found purchase on her hips. "Go ahead, I'll join you in a few minutes."

"You sure?" There was something in her eyes that lead him to question her. Rising to the balls of her feet, she tugged gently on his suspenders pulling him even closer, her mouth seeking out his. The taste of peppermint tea lingered on her soft lips. His eyes drifted closed, allowing himself to become fully immersed in the warmth and passion of their kiss. When she finally pulled back, the loss of contact left a hollow feeling in his heart.

Patting him tenderly on the chest, she nodded toward the balcony door. "Go," she smiled, but he was quick to notice that it didn't reach her eyes.

Reluctantly he turned, his fingers slipping from her sides. Easing the balcony door closed, Andy stood in the silence of the living room, his eyes drifting back to the magnificent woman standing just beyond the glass. Her back was to him again, her shoulders slumped as she leaned heavily against the railing.

Loath to give her the space she seemed to need, Andy ran his fingers through his hair, hoping to ease the headache that had settled there. Slowly he padded down the hall into the bedroom. As he began to undress he suddenly realized just how terrible his clothing smelled. Not wanting to spread the offending odor among the rest of their dry cleaning, he searched under the bathroom sink for a plastic bag. Once his clothes were finally dealt with, he placed the bag on the bench at the foot of the bed with plans of moving it to the laundry room once he was out of the shower.

Andy stood, both hands resting against the cool tile of the shower wall. The hot water beating down across his shoulders and neck gradually beginning to loosen his worn muscles. His eyes slipped closed, if he concentrated hard enough he could almost feel her hands sliding across his taunt shoulders, the press of her perfect body against his. He wasn't sure how much time had passed but he was sure that she wasn't going to join him. Turning the water off, Andy reached for a dark grey towel and began to quickly dry off. Once dressed in red and blue striped boxers and a heather grey undershirt, he opened the bathroom door intent on finding her. Two steps into the bedroom, Andy stopped dead in his tracks.

Apparently she had planned on joining him after all, but the plastic bag at the foot of the bed had easily distracted Sharon. She sat on the floor, huddled against the edge of the bed, clad only in her black lace bra and panty set. His heart sank in his chest as his eyes moved to the blue polka dotted tie clenched tightly in her hands. "Sharon?" His voice was low as he stepped closer. She did not look up, her eyes locked on the smoke riddled fabric resting across her lap. Stepping closer, he eased down on the floor beside her. "Sweetheart, look at me." It was if she didn't even hear him. He reached out attempting to pull the tie from her grasp, yet she held firm. "It's just an old tie, Sweetheart. It can be replaced."

"But you can't be." She still refused to meet his gaze.

"I'm fine, everyone was okay."

"This time." She finally raised her head, the dark green reflected back at him full of an emotion he had never seen from her, "There are so many different things about this case that bother me. Andy, you didn't look into Dwight Darnell's eyes. In all my years, I don't think I've ever seen so much hatred radiating from one human being. I'm afraid this…is just the beginning of many terrible things to come. Taylor has asked me to sit in on the trial with him. It starts Monday, I just… feel like a cold fist of dread has settled deep in my soul."

Andy stared at her, unsure of exactly what to say. His fingers trailed along her jaw to tenderly cup her cheek. She smiled, leaning fully into him for several minutes, their foreheads resting against each other, saying what words could not. Deep down he knew she was right, but he didn't want to admit that to her now. Reluctantly he pulled away, the bedroom floor suddenly becoming way too hard. Slowly he stood, pulling the tie from her hands as he went. "Come on, get ready for bed while I take this to the laundry room." He was glad when she easily allowed him to pull her to her feet and into a tight hug. Dropping the tie back into the plastic bag, Andy waited until he could hear the water running in the bathroom before he stepped down the hall toward the kitchen.

Rounding the corner, he was surprised to find Rusty seated on the sofa, laptop in hand. "Hey Kid, sorry... I didn't realize you were home yet."

"Andy, it's fine. I mean, it's not like I haven't seen you in your boxers before, let's just not make it a habit," the kid chuckled slightly. Rusty watched as Andy moved through the condo in to the laundry room. "Thanks again for that advice today."

Making his way back into the living room, Andy took the chair across from Rusty. "It was no problem. I wanted to help you, but I also wanted to make things easier on your Mom, so I guess you could say my motive was twofold."

Rusty stared at Andy, letting his words sink in. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Is Mom alright? She seemed, I don't know…just a little off this afternoon."

Letting out a deep sigh, Andy leaned back in his chair, his hands coming to rest at his chin, "Well…" Andy weighed his words carefully for he knew the last thing Sharon wanted was a worried Rusty. "She's okay. Today was a rough day. You know, this case is tough one. There's so many parts and pieces that have to be considered. I'm pretty sure that some of what is going on with Mark reminds her of what things were like for you growing up and even those first few months here with her. Your stories maybe very different but there are too many similarities to ignore." Rusty slowly nodded his head. "Also you have to remember," Andy continued, "Even though Sharon has seen some really terrible things in her career, deep down she strongly believes in the basic elements of the human spirit. And these dirt bags have no human spirit, all they have is hatred." Andy started to stand, "I better go before she begins to wonder what happen to me. Night kid."

"Andy…" Rusty called just a few seconds later.

"Yeah?" Stopping his trek through the living room, Andy turned his attention back to Rusty.

"I know I haven't been…well, I can be a real pain in the ass, but I'm glad you're here. I'm really glad she has you."

Andy tried not to smile too big, "You both have me, Kid. The three of us have each other."

Rusty nodded once again, before turning his attention back to his laptop, "Night Andy."

Unable to hide his grin, Andy sauntered back to the now darkened bedroom. Closing the door, he stepped to the bed. Pulling the covers back, he snuggled in behind Sharon. His hands moved down her body, molding her into his chest. He could feel her instantly relax into him as he placed a soft kiss against her cheek. "I love you and I'm here for you in any way that you need me to be."

"I know," her voice broke slightly. "I love you too." Her eyes drifted closed, yet her mind would not still. She didn't know what the coming weeks would bring, but she did know for certain that she could always count on the man holding her close.


	11. White Lies, Part 1

A/N Missing scene from White Lies Part One. No beta, all mistakes are mine.

The dark green eyes reflected in the mirror were strange to her. There was a blankness there, that matched the numbness coursing through her body. Yes, she had killed a man. Something she never really thought she would have to do. Shoot to injure but not to kill; those were her intentions as three rounds left her gun. It wasn't until she stood over Dwight Darnell that this strangling darkness over took her. In her mind, she saw herself squeezing the trigger one last time, a bullet right between the eyes. But in the long hours that have passed since that moment in the courtroom another gunshot has reverberated in her ears time and time again. In the end it didn't matter that she never took that forth shot, Dwight Darnell died regardless. His blood was on her hands and no matter how hard she scrubbed she could not wash it away. In the ladies room two floors below the Major Crimes Division, Sharon Raydor gazed into the eyes of a killer and they were her own.

Andy Flynn paced slowly up and down the hall outside the bank of elevators. Glancing at his watch, he stopped. Leaning heavily against the orange wall, he wondered what could be taking her so long. It had been over fifteen minutes since the desk clerk had called to let him know that she was on her way back up. Finally, he heard the clack of her heels against the tile floor long before he saw her round the corner. She stopped, staring at him, the expression on her face passive, yet unreadable. "Everything go okay with Behavioral Science?"

"Of course."

He studied her features, hoping for some glimpse into how she was really doing. He knew asking would be a stupid idea because he was positive that she would not tell him. He stepped closer, silently praying that she didn't back away from him. "I thought maybe…we could go home for a few hours. I thought it might do you some good to take a hot shower, change out of yesterday's clothes…"

"No." She slowly shook her head and he knew there would be no changing her mind. "I'm not going home until we all can go home and right now that is just not possible."

"Then come with me." He stepped away from her.

"Andy, I…"

"Sharon, I'm not taking no for an answer." He interrupted. "I need a few minutes alone with you and if truth be known, you need the same thing." Crossing her arms tightly over her chest, she pulled her bottom lip underneath her front teeth, her eyes slipping closed for a brief second. With a half nod she stepped out to follow him.

Without thinking his hand easily migrated to the small of her back. She jumped slightly when his firm hand made contact. Stopping, she turned back to look up at him. "It's not you," her voice was so soft, it almost brought tears to his eyes.

Hand not moving, he ran his thumb gently up and down her back. "I know." He could almost feel her relax into him as he lead her down the hall.

The break room was empty, Buzz's witness having completed her statement before the Captain finished at Behavioral Science. Settling Sharon in at a table in the corner of the room, Andy began two cups of tea. He watched in silence as she crossed her legs, her chin coming to rest on her hand as she stared off into nothing. It was a pose he had seen quite too often in the last thirty hours. It was a pose that caused his heart to ache as they waited for the body of Chief Taylor to be removed from the courtroom. He wondered just how many times she had done that already today. "I spoke with Ricky again earlier this morning and Emily called about an hour ago." He attempted to draw her from her reverie.

"I…" She started, but the words failed her.

With two piping hot cups of tea in hand, Andy placed the cups on the small table before sitting across from her. "They just need to hear from you that you're okay. It doesn't matter what Rusty or I tell them, until they hear your voice they're going to worry."

"I know. I just can't…not here. When we go home I will call them." She reached out a shaking hand for her cup of tea, but thought better of it.

Andy reached for her hands, surprised at how cold they were, he gently guided them around her warm cup before moving back to his own. He missed the contact the second he let go, but he didn't want to make her uncomfortable. It had taken all the will power he had not to touch her yesterday in the courtroom. He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and get her out of there but he simply couldn't. One day when she is ready to hear it, he will tell her how proud he is of the strength and fearlessness she showed. For the rest of his life he would never forget what it felt like watching her advance on Dwight Darnell. To say that he was terrified would be an understatement; yet, as the three rounds tore from her gun a certain air of calmness drifted over him. Until she turned and then he saw the darkened green of her eyes and his heart ached. That deep green had not faded in the slightest, in fact as his eyes met hers now some thirty hours later he would have to admit that they were darker still. "Amy got you one of those salads you like from down the street." Andy stood intent on retrieving it from the refrigerator.

She caught his hand before he could move away, "Don't. The thought of food…" she shook her head.

Andy sighed deeply, taking his seat again. "You need something, you haven't had anything since we had cereal yesterday morning."

"That seems like… a lifetime ago. Does it seem like that to you?"

"Yeah." He watched as she finally lifted the cup to her lips, her eyes sliding closed as the warm liquid slid down her throat.

"I keep replaying what happened over and over in my mind…trying to make sense of it all."

"Sharon, you had to shoot him, you had no choice…"

"No…not that." Andy looked at her, confusion evident on his face. "I can't think about that…about killing…" Her gaze drifted away from his, "Andy, did you notice anything odd about…Judge Richwood yesterday?"

Her question hung in the air between them. If Andy was totally honest, the Judge was the farthest person from his mind. Andy leaned back in his chair, his heart suddenly feeling heavy again, "No…but I wasn't focused on him. Sharon, what are you saying?"

She stood quickly, "I don't know, I don't know." Slowly she began to pace in a small circle, "He…didn't take cover. Not once, that I can remember seeing. He stood the entire time, watching Dwight and everything else play out."

Andy moved quickly to her side, "You're sure?"

He could feel her tremble against him, "It's what I keep seeing in my mind."

"Captain?" Provenza's voice startled them both. "Sorry to interrupt, but Chief Howard is ready for us."

"Thank you, Lieutenant…a minute, please." Provenza nodded his head, his eyes meeting Andy's for a brief moment before he quietly closed the break room door.

"Maybe he was just in shock, you know frozen in place," Andy tried to reason.

"You're right, you're probably right." She reached up, gently straightening his tie. "Thank you for this and for giving me a gentle push, I did need these few minutes alone with you. Andy, will you promise me something?"

"Anything." His left hand moved to her waist.

"Don't let me shut you out."

Their eyes met once again, the depths of her green orbs swimming with hurt, fear and something else that nearly brought him to his knees. "Never. I promise."

She ran her hand slowly down his tie, with a small tilt of her head she turned, his hand sliding off her waist to fall by his side. His eyes followed her out the door and down the hall until she disappeared from sight. He breathed out, a soft growl escaping him. 'This is just the beginning,' he thought, his hands balling into tight fist. She wasn't fooling him, he could see the fear and self-hatred in her eyes. Killing this dirtbag was eating her alive but one thing Andy was certain of, he would do everything in his power to help her find her way out of the darkness and into the light.

A/N2 this was not what I originally planned to write, but I didn't get the chance to rematch Monday's episode until yesterday.


	12. White Lies, Part 2

**A/N Tag to White Lies Part two. No beta, all mistakes are mine.**

Sometimes he wondered how her hand fit so perfectly in his, as if they were truly made for each other. Her hands are relatively small even though small is not a word that often comes to mind when thinking of Sharon Raydor. The softness of her skin easily distracts him as she runs her thumb up and down over his rough, calloused knuckles. His eyes remain locked on hers until, as if by invitation they drop slowly to her chest where the gentle blush of cashmere and lace fits oh so perfectly. She's speaking again, but he is lost to her words. "Andy…Andy?"

His eyes meet hers once more, a slight grin forming on his lips, "Sorry."

"Hmm," Smiling, she stands quickly, her robe falling open to reveal matching silk pajama shorts. Even in the dim light his eyes dance up and down her beautiful, long, toned legs. Without another word she pulls him to his feet, quietly leading him down the darkened hallway to their bedroom. As they move carefully in the dark, he once again ponders the feel of her hand in his. His mind flashes back, yet again to the images of this same petite hand holding steadfast to her weapon, her aim never faltering.

It took some time, but the fear of what could have happened in that courtroom slowly took residence deep in Andy's soul. It wasn't until they finally got home that first night that he was forced to face his own feelings. Her silence on the drive home was telling, but even more so was her utter lack of emotion. She had gone straight to shower as soon as they entered the condo; afterwards, she had dressed in black yoga pants, a white tank top and his pajama shirt. Once he was showered and ready for bed, he found her on the balcony wrapped in her favorite blanket. Her expression was blank and unfeeling, thus leading Andy's fear to grow two fold. He wished more than anything that he had been able to help her, but honestly he fought to understand fully what she was feeling; for in his mind the dirt-bag deserved to die, end of story. She refused to join him in bed that night, saying she needed a few more minutes to herself. Reluctantly, he kissed her gently on the forehead, leaving her in the cool night air with only her thoughts. Andy easily surrendered to the exhaustion of the last thirty-eight hours not waking until daylight the next morning. It was then that he realized with deep regret that she had never come to bed. Sharon was already dressed for work he found as he padded barefoot into the kitchen; the exhaustion, lack of sleep and despair etched heavily on her beautiful face. He knew she could not continue to let this eat her alive, but he also knew that she needed more than he could give. It was then that he asked if she had considered speaking to Father Thomas. She gripped his hand tightly across the kitchen counter, her fingers slipping so perfectly between his. She nodded her head slowly, her eyes finally beginning to lose the depth of dark murky green that had consumed them in the last two days.

The soft click of the bedroom door closing drew Andy from his thoughts of days gone by, shifting his focus back to the beautiful creature standing beside him. Her fingers were still linked tightly in his. Instead of stepping toward the bed, he pulled her tenderly into his arms in one swift motion, his lips finding much needed solace against hers. Their joined hands remained linked against his chest as her free hand found anchor against his shoulder allowing her to rise to her tiptoes for better access. Using his other hand, Andy pulled her tightly against him, savoring the soft crush of her body against his. The feel of her lips against his still made him feel giddy with want as if it was the first time he tasted her. Tonight, she tasted of an all too familiar mix of chamomile and soft mint. Reluctantly she broke the kiss, burying her face in the crook of his neck, she breathed in his calming scent. "Thank you." Her whisper was soft, full of emotions that she had felt forced to hide.

Without a reply, he led her to the bed, their hands only coming unlinked for Andy to remove his shirt and Sharon her robe. They settled down, her head moving to rest on his chest, her cold feet edging under the warmth of his legs. "Feel like you can sleep?" the deep rumble of his voice, tickling against her ear.

His hand had moved beneath the soft silk waistband of her pajama bottoms, resting gently on the curve of her hip. Her sigh was deep, cleansing. "Yes…finally. Andy?"

He could feel her turning to look at him even though he couldn't see her eyes in the darkened bedroom. "I meant what I said…Thank you."

"I didn't…" He started, but was stopped by the press of her finger against his lips.

She shifted slightly, molding herself even more into his side, if that was possible. Her fingers eased through the course patch of hair peppering his chest, finally coming to rest just above his heart. "You were…you are… exactly what I need. You gave me space when I needed it, you gave me unconditional love and most of all you helped me find hope in what was... in my mind, a hopeless situation."

"Father Thomas gave you hope…" Andy started again.

"In the end maybe, but Andy…" Her voice faltered, hot tears finally breaking through her strong facade to slip down her cheek to his chest. "You pointed me in the right direction without pushing me. I would have waited until this case is over to talk with Father Thomas. But your simple suggestion made me see that I couldn't wait, you… saved me from myself."

Andy swallowed hard, his heart overwhelmed with love and adoration for the amazing woman cradled into his side. "I love you."

"You... get me." Her words pierced his heart, filling his body and mind with an everlasting warmth.

Gingerly, he placed a soft kiss to the top of her head, "Get some sleep, sweetheart. You have to be exhausted."

She wiped at the damp patch on her cheeks and his chest before settling back against him, "Andy, I love you too."

Minutes passed, listening for her breathing to even out into the languid sounds of sleep, Andy tried to still his mind and the thoughts haunting him. He swallowed hard again, but it was no use, he could no longer stop the gentle roll of hot tears down his own cheeks. The resounding banter of "this is not over" sounded loudly in his mind. He knew none of them, least of all Sharon, would give up until they found who was behind this evil conspiracy, but at what cost would justice finally come.


	13. White Lies, Part 3

**A/N Tag to White Lies Part three. No beta, all mistakes are mine.**

The mustard colored plastic chair was hard and un-forgiving. Leaning forward, her eyes focused on the light green tile beneath her feet. She slowly counted the black specks littering the dreadful tile, willing the numbers to fill her mind. She thought if she focused hard enough on those black specks then she could keep the look of fear that filled Andy's deep brown orbs from playing over and over in her mind. Her hands clenched tightly to the cool metal of Andy's bracelet, his sobriety ring sat loosely on her index finger. She thought about how many times her fingers automatically slipped under the edge of this same bracelet, twirling it softly against his wrist. Holding it now, it's weight heavy in her hands offered no comfort what so ever.

"Captain?" Provenza's voice was soft, yet it easily startled her. "Any word?" She looked slowly up at him, her eyes saying more than the soft shake of her head. "Was he… still conscious in the ambulance?"

"Yes." Her eyes drifted closed for a brief second, she could almost still feel the tight grip he had on her hand during the relatively short ambulance ride to Saint Leo's.

Provenza sat heavily beside her, "Good, that's good." She shrugged her shoulders before returning her attention back to the black specks on the floor.

"Patrice is on her way, Buzz and Rusty too. I'm sure the rest of the team will also be here shortly. Were you able to get in touch with the kids?" Leaning back in the chair, her hand moved to cradle her chin. She nodded slightly, again choosing not to speak. Provenza's eyes moved to the very familiar ring sitting lopsided on her finger, a deep sigh escaping him. "Sharon,"

Before he could continue, her worried green eyes met his, "Don't. Please, there's not one single word you could say that would make me feel better."

"Okay." Provenza nodded. "I understand." Silence was not something that he easily associated with Sharon Raydor, but he could understand that silence was what she needed at this exact moment. He watched as she leaned forward again, her normally perfect posture long forgotten. It was at this moment that his eyes were now drawn to the bracelet she gripped tightly in both hands. Not being one to be easily rattled, there was something so moving about seeing her hold tightly to his best friend's bracelet. It was if that bracelet anchored Andy to her and maybe in her mind it did.

"Mrs. Flynn?" Sharon quickly stood, not bothering to correct the doctor approaching them. Rolling his eyes, Provenza stood as well.

"Doctor?" Sharon's voice was even lower than normal, her worry evident in the tone.

Staring at the young woman before them, Provenza though she looked no older than his youngest granddaughter. She even had the same bouncing, blonde ponytail. "Mr. Flynn is stable. His ECG and echocardiogram were both normal; we are waiting for his blood test to come back but I'm confident in saying that this was not a heart related episode."

Sharon glanced quickly at the Lieutenant, the fear in her eyes finally replaced with hope. "If not his heart, then…?"

"My primary diagnosis is that Mr. Flynn is suffering from esophageal spasms."

"But," Sharon frowned, "Andy takes reflux medication every day."

The doctor cleared her throat, her uneasy eyes briefly meeting the Lieutenant's before returning to look at Sharon. "Mr. Flynn has been without his medications for several days, that along with stress could have easily contributed to the episode he experienced."

"Medications?" Provenza quickly recognized the tone in his Captain's voice and couldn't hide the slight grin from dancing across his features. "Including his blood pressure…"

"Mrs. Flynn," the doctor interrupted, "I suggest you take that up with your husband. I can take you to him now, if you would like."

Shaking her head, Sharon crossed her arms over her chest before turning her attention to Provenza. "Lieutenant, if you would check in on Andy while I let the children know their father is okay."

"Of course, Mrs…Flynn," Provenza smirked. "Lead the way Doctor." Following closely behind the pretty, young doctor, he paused just outside the emergency room door to catch a fleeting glance back at his Captain. She was once again sitting, her phone in one hand, yet she had made no effort to dial anyone. Her other hand still clutching Andy's bracelet, rested against her heart. With a deep sigh, Provenza turned back to find the doctor waiting for him.

Andy stared intently at the ceiling of the small emergency room cubical. His mind going back to the precise moment in the murder room that his world turned upside down. He could remember holding tightly to Sharon's wrist as she cradled his head in her hands, her eyes begging him to stay with her. She never said more than his name, she wouldn't in front of everyone, but he could read her eyes and the volumes they spoke. A low noise from the doorway drew his attention; looking up, Andy was surprised to find Provenza leaning against the cool glass.

"Where's Sharon?"

Provenza slowly moved closer to the bed, "Letting Nicole and everyone know that you're okay."

"Oh." Andy looked back to the ceiling, "Is she mad?"

"She's tired. She's upset, even though she would never admit to it and she's relived. I'm sure mad will follow soon enough. Ye gads Flynn! Not taking your medication for a few days during one of the worst cases of our careers. Could you be more of an idiot?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Andy held his hands up. "There's not one single excuse that I've come up with that sounds even half way decent. I messed up, I get that. I…thought I could handle everything, but I obviously I couldn't." Crossing his arms over his chest, Andy looked directly at his best friend. "What if Darnell had gotten to Sharon before she…" He slowly shook his head, "I keep playing it in my head, over and over. I could see her advancing on him from where I was but I couldn't do a damn thing to help her."

"Is that what this is all about?"

"Maybe," Andy sighed. "I don't know. I can't let it go, this fear that has taken root inside of me. Even today when we were entering the warehouse, I felt this weight." Grimacing, Andy shifted trying to find a more comfortable position, "She has no business being in the field, but lately she's been right there with us. I don't like it."

"Well none of us like it, but damn-it Flynn!" Provenza huffed. Pulling a chair from the corner of the small room, he sat with a heavy sigh, "She's a damn good cop and have you ever stopped to think that she feels like this every single day? She sends all of us directly into harm's way on her own orders, yet you don't find her collapsing in the murder room."

"Yeah, well…maybe she's stronger than I am."

"Definitely smarter." Provenza shrugged as his best friend glared at him. "Look, I warned you about this. I told you falling in love with…her would only spell disaster. And now here we sit. Does she know you feel…"

"Are you crazy!" Andy interrupted, "No, she doesn't know and she can never find out. I promised her in the very beginning that I would keep this... out of the office."

Provenza studied his friend for a long while, neither of them speaking. "Well, you need to fix this. Whatever it takes, whoever you need to talk to, I don't care. Just fix it."

 **~~~~SASA~~~~~**

Sharon held to Andy's arm as they walked into the darkened condo. She had been noticeably quiet on the way home but then again so had he. "Can I get you anything?" She asked as they entered their bedroom.

"No, I just want to sleep. Are you okay?" He ran his hand along her arm.

"Fine." A tired smile that never reached her eyes, drifted across her face, "I need a shower and then I'll join you." She stepped away from him, his hand falling heavily to his side. He watched in silence as she entered the bathroom, closing the door gently behind her.

Andy slowly undressed. Once he was down to his navy boxers and white undershirt, he pulled the covers back, settling down on his side of the bed. He noticed the sound of the shower just coming on as he tried to get comfortable. The single lamp on Sharon's side of the bed cast a soft glow about the room. He checked the time on his phone, it was well after midnight but thankfully he didn't have to spend the night at the hospital. They would both rest much better in their own bed. A muffled sound from the bathroom suddenly drew his attention, he shifted on the bed trying to figure out what he heard. Frowning, he sat up, straining to listen. Slowly, he eased off the bed, padding over to the bathroom door. Leaning his forehead against the cool wood of the door, he listened again. After a few moments he finally registered what exactly he was hearing and his heart fell in his chest. Quietly he eased open the bathroom door, hot thick steam filled the small room. His eyes slowly migrated to the shower stall and the source the heart breaking sound. Sharon sat naked, huddled on the tiled shower floor. Her back was to him, her face buried against her arms resting on her knees as the hot water cascaded over her body.

Another muffled sob, shook her entire being, thus springing Andy into action. In one swift motion, he pulled his t-shirt over his head and shed his boxers. As quietly as possible, he eased the shower door open, stepping in behind her. "Andy…I'm fine." She breathed, without looking up. Carefully he eased down on the floor behind her. "Andy, you don't need to…"

"Shh," he soothed. Carefully he wrapped his arms around her wet body, she shivered despite the temperature of the water. Easing her onto his lap, she automatically buried her face into the side of his neck. "Let it go, sweetheart. Just let it go." He wasn't sure how long she sobbed against him, her hand holding tightly to him. As the water falling around them began to cool, her muffled cries finally tapered off. With a gentle kiss to the side of his cheek, she eased off his lap and stood, reaching to turn the water off. She pushed her hair back from her eyes, squeezing the excess water from it. Reaching out, she slowly helped Andy to his feet, careful not to let him go.

Not speaking, they took turns drying each other off. Minutes later, they settled down in the bed, neither bothering to dress in their night clothes. He rolled to his side, pulling her tightly against his chest. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"No…I'm sorry. I was an idiot."

She sighed deeply, his muffled voice warm against her ear. "Don't ever scare me like that again. I thought…I had lost you."

His thumb moved slowly up and down across her stomach, "You're not going to get rid of me that easily."

She chuckled softly against him, "Me either. Andy, I know our jobs put us both in danger each and every day. We knew going into this that it wasn't going to be easy."

"Sharon…" he tried to interrupt.

"No," She shook her head against him. "Let me finish. I know…what happened in that courtroom changed both of us. Andy, I know you so well. I can see the fear in your eyes when you look at me, but we can't let that fear control us. None of us know how much time we will have together. Anything could happen, job related or not."

"I know."

The sadness in his voice tore at her heart. She rolled slowly in his arms, mossy green meeting deep chestnut in the soft bedroom light. They held each other's gaze for several beats, her hand seeking out the rough stubble now apparent on his cheeks. "I love you."

He leaned in, placing a chaste kiss against her soft lips, "I love you."

She moved from the warmth of his body to turn the bedside lamp off. As the darkness of the early morning surrounded them, she settled back against his chest, his hand coming to rest across her stomach. The last few days had been really rotten but they had gotten through them together, the same way they would face each and every day they were given. No one knows the exact meaning of forever, but their love will live on, forever in their hearts.

 **A/N Thanks to everyone who took this journey with me. Your encouragement was amazing. For those of you reading my other story Private Vengeance, an update is coming soon. Thanks again everyone!**


	14. Heart Failure

**Tag to 5.14 Heart Failure. No beta, all mistakes are mine.**

The cold night air was piercing, but Sharon Raydor did not care; she longed to feel numb. Accepting Chief Howard's offer to drive her home to avoid having to wait for Andy, who was taking the written exam with the rest of the team, seemed like a good idea at the time. Now, alone with her thoughts in the darkness of the balcony, she wasn't so sure. Pulling Andy's dark green robe tighter, she slipped her nose under the edge of the fabric. Her eyes fluttered closed at the hint of his aftershave still lingering on the soft material. It did little to soothe the tightness in her chest, for she was sure she has yet to take one single deep breath since Phillip Stroh's name tumbled from Fritz Howard's lips.

The file lay closed on the foot of the chaise lounge, she wasn't sure why she had brought it out here with her, seeing as how she's already read it several times. Fritz had surprised her on the way home when he so bluntly asked if she was planning on sharing this new information on Stroh with Andy and Rusty. Instead of answering his question, she had simply asked if he was planning on sharing the information with Brenda Leigh. The soft chuckle that escaped him did not go unnoticed. It was a familiar boat they found themselves in; both desperately wanting to protect the ones they love the most, neither sure of how far they would have to go to stop Stroh. Stroh, Phillip Stroh…deep down she knew they had not seen the last of him. But why now, just when life was getting back on track.

Completely lost in her thoughts, she didn't hear the balcony door slide open, it wasn't until Andy's hand touched her knee that she realized she was no longer alone. She jumped, even though she knew immediately it was him. "It's freezing out here, let's get you inside." Without a word, she watched as Andy lifted the file folder from where it sat. Sliding it under his arm, he reached to help her up. Once inside, he guided her over to the dining table. "I stopped and picked up some of that tomato basil soup you like so much. I don't think you're going to feel like chewing much." Sitting in her normal chair, Sharon's eyes followed the file as Andy tossed it gently on the side of the table. "Sharon?" the concern in his voice was palpable. Shifting her attention to his troubled brown eyes, she smiled until a cool bolt of pain shot through her left cheek. The grimace that followed had Andy kneeling in front of her, gently cupping the right side of her face.

"I'm fine." Her voice was slightly muffled. "Forgot that I didn't need to smile."

Turning her chin slightly, to get a better look at the left side of her face, his eyes narrowed has he took in the barrage of red and now darkening blue skin across her cheek and jaw. His finger lightly dusted over the top of her cheek bone noting the tender skin there. Tilting his head, his eyes shifted from left to right and back again. "Your left pupil is slightly dilated, maybe we should call…"

"Andy, I'm fine." Interrupting, she glided her finger tips across the rough stubble on his chin. "I promise, I'm fine."

"No headache?"

With a low hum, she shifted her gaze, "Nothing I can't handle."

Pushing to his feet, a deep grumbled escaped him. "God damn-it Sharon!" Before he could move away from her, she grabbed at his wrist, anchoring him in place. He looked down, instantly getting lost in her green eyes. Slowly standing, she burrowed into his chest; the strong, steady beat of his heart finally giving her cause to breathe the deep cleansing breath she so desperately needed. Holding her as close as he dared, he placed a soft kiss to the top of her head. He wanted to beg her to promise him, she would never do anything like that again, but it was promise he knew she could never keep. "Thank you," he whispered instead. Looking up, her eyes were filled with confusion. "Thank you for letting me take care of you earlier. I know how hard we both work to keep our relationship out of the murder…"

"Andy…" her muffled voice interrupted him. "I want you and only you to take care of me. I think after everything…" Her mind flashed back to her own actions after Andy collapsed in the murder room so many months ago, "I think…the ship has sailed on keeping our relationship out of the murder room."

"Oh, really?" the merriment glittered in Andy's eyes, "Does this mean we can make out in your office now, because you know that is one of my greatest fantasies."

Giving a soft shove to his chest, she stepped from his embrace, "Don't push your luck, mister." Turning back to him, her features now very serious, "While we are giving out accolades, thank you for stopping when I asked you to. I know how much that cost you."

"It would have cost you more if I had laid a hand on that piece of shit. I knew I couldn't, especially not with Winnie Davis out to get you."

A soft hum was her only response, her eyes moved from Andy to the folder still in the same spot on the table and back to Andy, "I'm really not hungry. I think I just want to go to bed."

He watched as she moved to the opposite side of the table and picked up the folder, cradling it to her chest. "Oh…okay." He couldn't say that he was surprised. "How 'bout a bath? That would help you relax some." Not wait for her to answer, he stepped around her. "I'll get it started for you and then come back and put dinner away." Without a word, she watched as he moved down the hall towards their bathroom. She lingered in the living room for a minute more, the file felt heavy against her chest. Moving to her desk, she shoved the offending folder into the bottom drawer with a loud thud.

She padded into the bathroom to find Andy sitting on the edge of the tub; his dress shirt and tie gone. He watched in silence as she twisted her hair into a knot on top of her head. Once she was finished, he reached for her, tugging on the tie of his robe, "Here let me help you," he let the green fabric fall from around her shoulders. He was surprised to find underneath Sharon was still dressed in her slacks and white shell. In a matter of seconds, she stood in front of him now clad only in her matching light pink bra and panty set. His eyes moved slowly down her body, "Shit…" she felt his fingers trace over the lower part of her ribcage before she looked down. There were several bruises smattering across her pale skin, the worst of which was on the top of her right thigh. "Does it hurt?"

"No, not really. I guess…I hit the table harder than I thought." She brought her hand to his cheek in an effort to pry his eyes from the darkening bruises. "Andy, I'm fine. It's just a few bruises." She searched his eyes, seeing the love and concern etched there made her heart ache. Leaning down, she kissed him gently on the lips before stepping back to give him room to stand. He reached to unhook her bra while she shimmied out of her panties. He held tightly to her hand and elbow as she stepped into the tub, only letting go when he was sure she was steady on her feet. The water was almost too hot but if felt good as she slowly lowered herself. Her eyes dipped closed as she allowed her body to relax against the warmth of the water.

"Good?" Andy asked from his perch on the tubs edge and he took her easy hum as affirmation. Leaning over he placed a soft kiss to her forehead. "I'll be back, just relax." She nodded her head slightly but did not open her eyes. Pausing at the bathroom door, he watched her for a few minutes. How many times since those few horrible seconds in the interview room has she reassured him that she is indeed fine; how many times in the last few months has he said the same to her? He didn't like to think about what his recent health crisis has cost her. It killed him to think that he is the greatest cause of her worries. He can see the fear that she tries so hard to hide, yet tonight there was something more swimming in the depths of her mossy green eyes. Something haunting, that has nothing to do with him or what happen today.


	15. Cleared History

**A/N Tag to episode 5.15 Cleared History. No beta all mistakes were mine. This one did not go where I originally planned, so I'll issue a small warning.**

The bedside lamp was on low, casting a dim light across their bedroom. Andy could hear water running in the adjoining bathroom as he padded across the room in his bare feet. He paused at the slightly ajar door, his shoulder resting against the facing, he leaned a little to the left to optimize his view. He loved nothing more than to watch her nightly ritual. The way she washes and moisturizes her beautiful face intrigues him for some reason; each step precisely synchronized, like a dance almost. It often drives her crazy when she catches him staring, a fact that makes him love her even more. She looks up in the mirror, catching him just as he crosses his arms over his chest to get more comfortable. He doesn't miss the roll of her eyes, nor the soft groan she can't suppress. He steps closer this time, her green eyes silently watching his advance in the mirror. Sliding his arms around her waist, he pulls her snuggly into his chest, his head coming to rest on her left shoulder. She giggles lightly as he peppers kisses along her elongated neck and jaw bone. Words cannot express how much he loves to hear her low, easy-going giggles that she reserves only for him. Smiling, he begins to sway them softly, side to side. Their eyes meet in the mirror once again as he places a chaste kiss against her cheek. "The bruise is almost gone," his voice is low against her ear. "Sykes thinks you must have been a makeup artist in another life, she even asked me if you really had a bruise."

A low hum is her only response. Their eyes meet again; this time the light seems to have dimmed considerably in her mossy green orbs. His eyebrow raises in question and she can't help but look away. "Sharon?" She recognizes his tone, yet she doesn't stop him from slowly turning her to face him.

Her hands move to the center of his chest, his grey t-shirt is soft, comforting. "Let's just say I have some experience and leave it at that." She knows even before she finishes her sentence, that he can't; he won't. Slipping from his light hold, she moves past him flipping the bathroom light off as she steps into their bedroom.

Standing unmoving, Andy silently counts backwards from ten; he knows she can't lie to him so avoidance is her only defense. He also knows that she only wants to protect him; thus, the reason she has always been very tight lipped about her past. His hands automatically clinch into tight fists, he can feel his heart rate quicken and then it hits him…he finally understands in that brief second what she has been saying all along. Letting out a deep sigh, he runs his fingers through his hair before stepping into their bedroom, "Sweetheart…" but his words die on his lips when he realizes the room is empty. The covers are pulled back, but Sharon is nowhere to be seen. He sits heavily on her side of the bed, automatically cradling her pillow to his chest. He thinks back to their discussion at dinner a few nights before; with Sharon, everything is a discussion, never an argument. No matter how undone he becomes, she stays perfectly calm; direct, but calm. She has said from day one that stress was the cause of his heart attack, an idea that he refused to give merit to. What was it she said… "I am pretty certain that when people move in together, sometimes there is a little pressure." That wasn't the first time she included them moving in together as a reason for added stress. Shaking his head, he tries to wrap his mind around her words. Moving in with Sharon was the best thing in his life, how could that add to his stress? Tossing her pillow to the side, Andy stood, intent on getting answers. Clad in pajama pants and grey t-shirt, he moved quietly down the hall into the living room.

The lights were still off, just as he had left them earlier. From the soft glow offered by the single light burning above the kitchen sink, he could just make out her figure standing at the balcony door. Her legs were bare, his pajama top falling mid-thigh. One hand rested on the cool glass, the other held at her waist. The only thing stopping her from escaping to the balcony was the gentle rain falling outside. He watched her for a few seconds before he spoke, "Sweetheart, come to bed."

"In a few minutes." She made no effort to turn at the sound of his voice. With a deep sigh, he moved slowly to the couch. Gathering the pillows to one end, he stretched out with another sigh. "Andy? Please…"

"Nope. I'll wait right here until you're ready for bed or…ready to talk." He could hear her exasperated groan, but she still did not move from her spot by the door. He knew if he was going to get any answers, he would have to ask her point blank. "Sharon?" his voice was low, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Always," her voice was almost wistful.

"Would you have told me about Stroh last week, if you hadn't been woken up by that terrible nightmare?" That wasn't the question she was expecting. Her mind drifted back to that terrible night, just a week ago; it had been a long while since she had suffered through such a vivid dream. Within the first few minutes of waking up she had not been able to distinguish between what was real and what was not. At first Andy assumed that Jeffery Day was the person haunting her dreams, but when she stumbled down the hall to Rusty's empty room, he realized that he couldn't have been more wrong. It took several minutes to calm her down enough to convince her that Rusty was safe with Gus. After that, she finally pulled the file from her desk drawer and together they sat for hours going over the information. "Sharon?" His voice pulled her from her memories, "I asked you a question."

"No, I wouldn't have." She turned to look at him, even though she couldn't see his eyes in the dark, "Eventually, yes…but I would have waited…"

"Waited for what?" his voice rose an octave.

"I don't know! You don't need the added stress of worrying…"

"Stop…just stop." He quickly sat up, knocking off several pillows to the floor. She moved swiftly across the room, coming to a stop just in front of where he sat. Reaching for her, he tugged gently on her wrist. "I love you, I'm supposed to worry about…" even in the dark, he could see her slowly shaking her head. "Oh, I see…I finally get it. You get to worry about me but I don't get to worry about you. Is that why you blame yourself."

"Blame myself?" Her whisper so soft, he could barely hear her.

"That's why you keep bringing up the stress of moving in together. You think if I wasn't here everyday, you could do a better job of hiding things from me?" Even though it was dark, he studied the array of emotions flooding her mind. "Come here…" Pulling her ever so gently on to his lap, he sighed when she gave in, resting her head on his shoulders. "My heart attack was not your fault."

"I know…but, there was so much going on at that time. That awful case, Taylor dying, then the way I handled shooting…Dwight. I didn't know how to let you help me, I could see the worry every time I looked at you," her voice was muffled against his chest.

"Do you honestly think I would have let you handle all of that alone? You couldn't have kept me away."

"I would have tried, if I thought it could have saved you," the sadness in her voice tore at his heart.

"There's no place I'd rather be in the world than here with you and Rusty. We're a family, Sharon. Do you know how long I've dreamed of spending my life with you? It's just, I'm not like you. I can't compartmentalize everything that worries me into a stack of neat little boxes in my head and only take them out when it is convenient for me."

"I don't do that!" She sat back a little to look at him.

"Oh yes, you do." He traced the pad of his finger down her nose, "It's not a bad thing, sweetheart. But sometimes I worry that all those little boxes are going to come crashing down when you least expect it."

Taking a deep breath, she shifted on his lap to straddle him, "It sounds like we're quite the pair. A number one worrier and an ace compartmentalizer, wonder what behavioral science would say?"

Chuckling, he leaned in pulling her even closer, "I never want to find out." He looked down, and even in the dim light she could feel the sadness wash over him.

"What?" She tugged on his chin, willing him to look at her.

"Promise me you will stop trying to hide things from me because you're scared I'm going to kill over or something. I'm not going anywhere. We are in this together, good or bad…"

"Happy or sad," she placed a soft kiss against his lips. "Okay, I promise, no more secrets." She studied his face for a few more seconds, "Did Amy really ask you about my bruise?"

"Yeah, she really did; actually, I think Mike or Julio put her up to it. They just couldn't understand how you covered it so well. Julio was there remember, he knows exactly what kind of blow you took. They all were just worried about you." He chuckled softly, "Even Provenza."

"Hmm." She chewed on her bottom lip before continuing, "If I tell you, do you promise to stay calm and not try to beat Jack to a pulp the next time we see him?" Andy nodded softly, afraid if he spoke the tone of his voice would belie the rage beginning to boil deep down inside of him and then she might change her mind about telling him.

"Okay…" Taking a deep breath, "It happen twice, the first time I was seven months pregnant with Emily." She moved to slide off his lap, but he tried to hold her still. "Please, I need some space, if I'm going to talk about this…" Nodding, his hands slipped from her sides, allowing her to stand and before he could stop her, she was back starring out into the dark night beyond the balcony windows. "Of course he was drunk; so drunk, in fact that the next morning he had no idea what he had done. It wouldn't have been as bad if he had slapped me, but apparently Jack likes to use his fist. He thought I had gotten hit a work. He was so upset, so concerned about me and our baby." Her breath caught before she could continue, " I never told him what really happen. I wanted to believe that he could change, that things could be good. And they were for a while. Until I got pregnant with Ricky and realized that Jack had never really stopped drinking or gambling." She cleared her throat, "After the hard time I had during Ricky's birth, he came back, promising that we could be a family again. That he would never, ever let me down. And, I so wanted to believe him."

Andy cradled his head in his hands, willing himself to stay on the couch, to give her the space she needed. But he wanted nothing more than to hold her close, to put a lifetime of distance between her and these terrible memories. He, himself could remember a young Sharon Raydor. Their paths had crossed a few times in those days and he always thought she was the most beautiful pregnant woman he had ever seen. There was a glow about her that never betrayed the sadness that he now knows was hidden so deeply behind those brilliant green eyes.

Her voice was low, startling him from his thoughts, "The second time…the second time, Ricky was too young to remember, but Emily…" He waited for her continue, "Oh, god! I'm sorry…I'm so sorry, Andy. I can't. I thought I could, but…" He could see her hand move from her chest, yet before he could cross the small space separating them, she had the balcony door open and was outside. Her body trembled, her hands gripped the balcony railing with a strength that was some how comforting. Andy moved behind her, careful to not yet touch her. "I couldn't breathe," she whispered against the wind and soft rain.

His hands moved slowly around her waist, pulling her into the the solid warm of his chest, "I've got you, I've got you. You will always be safe with me." She leaned her head against his shoulder, allowing the full weight of her body to rest against him. His hands slowly traveled up her now rain soaked body, finding her nipples hard against the cool, wet fabric. Her body arched against him, the low moan slowly escaping her lips. She turned quickly in his arms, his hands anchored behind her back, pulling her even closer still, "You're so beautiful." The words were barely out of his mouth when he captured her lips in a searing kiss. Lifting her, she locked her legs around his waist. Slowly, he walked them out of the dark, wet night. Once inside, she tried to slip from his hold, "Nope, you're staying right here." He pulled the balcony door closed with one hand, his other held firmly to her bottom. She nuzzled her nose against his neck, her deep sigh the only noise in the darkened room except for the sound of his foot steps carrying them down the hall.

Kicking the bedroom door closed with his foot, Andy pressed her back against it. Unhooking her ankles from behind his back, she slipped down from his chest to the floor, his desire for her evident. Reaching down, he pushed a lock of wet hair from her eyes. Both her hands carefully came rest just above his heart, "Are you sure?" The love and concern in her eyes saying more than her words ever could.

"More than sure," the low tone of his voice, echoing his answer. Slowly, she peeled his wet t-shirt up and over his head, tossing it somewhere behind him. Her hands then pulled impatiently at the string at his waist, finally allowing his pajama pants to fall to the floor.

Leaning up on her toes, she grabbed his face between her hands, her eyes searching his, "If you start to feel anything wrong…" He cut her words off, crashing his lips into hers. Briefly their teeth clashed as his tongue seeks access. He groaned, a low sound from the back of his throat, and she pulled back, her eyes once again anchored on his. "I mean it, Andy…" Before she can continue, his hands grasp at his rain soaked pajama top still covering her. He wasted no time with the buttons, as several of them go flying across the room as he rips the offending material from her body. Their lips meet again, this time she matches his fervor, taste by beautiful taste.

It's his turn to pull back now, resting his forehead against her's they both struggle to catch their breaths. Water drips slowly from her hair, winding a cool path down between her breast. Taking her hand gently in his he pulls her to the bed, where he motions for her to sit. She frowns slightly when he walks quickly into the bathroom, only to return seconds later with a towel. He runs it over his hair a few times before gently squeezing the water from her soft auburn locks. She can't hide her grin when he finally tosses the towel to the side of the bed. "Are you done?" her voice sends a bolt of desire through him.

Passion radiates from his dark brown eyes, "Oh, believe me, I'm just getting started."


	16. Quid Pro Quo

**A/N Tag to episode 5.16 Quid Pro Quo.**

 **Sorry I have been MIA for a while. Between the push and pull of real life and some health issues that made typing not much fun, I've fallen way behind. But, I'm not one to leave something unfinished. Please bear with me and be patient, I'm not 100% yet, but getting there. Thanks to those of you who checked on me. Words can't express how much I appreciate your thoughts and support. And once again, No beta all mistakes were mine.**

The restaurant was bustling. Even from the small table for two in the back near the kitchen, the noisy chatter was grating on Andy's nerves. He flicked his straw repeatedly against the edge of his glass, unable to keep still. Glancing at his watch, he frowned at the late hour. Taking another sip of his cranberry soda, the sweet tartness felt somewhat calming. The hand to his shoulder startled him, "Sorry I'm late." Obviously flustered, Gavin Baker slipped into the chair across from Andy, "My deposition ran late and then traffic was a real bitch."

"Don't worry, I understand." Andy waved the waiter over, waiting while Gavin ordered a glass of white wine. "Thanks for coming on such short notice," he continued once the waiter was gone.

Leaning slightly forward, Gavin rested his hands on the table, "I have to admit, I was a little surprised when you called. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," absentmindedly, Andy ran his hand through his hair, "Fine, everything's fine."

"Fine…" Gavin repeated with a raise of his eyebrow. "Uh huh."

"What?" Andy shrugged his shoulders.

"It's just…in all these years you've been not dating, then dating, and now cohabitating with my best friend; you've never once called me like this. I can't help but be worried. Is…" Gavin paused for the waiter to place his wine glass in front of him. Taking a small sip, he swirled the pale liquid around in the glass before continuing. "Is Sharon okay?"

"She's fine." Andy mumbled.

"You're not convincing me." Reaching in his pocket for his phone, "Do I need to call her right…"

"No…No…" Andy interrupted.

"Okay." Gavin sat his phone to the side, "Obviously, something is going on, so spill it."

Taking another sip of his drink, Andy let the cool liquid slide down his throat before he spoke, "Has she spoken with you about all this promotion bullshit?"

"Hmm." Finally, Gavin thought. "I know that she is happy right where she is." The roll of Andy's eyes did not go unnoticed, "So…you don't agree that she's happy?"

"Yeah, sure she's happy, but is there more to it? Something she's not saying."

Leaning back in his chair, Gavin crossed his arms over his chest, "Andy, I'm just a tad bit confused here. Do you want Sharon to leave Major Crimes?"

"No." Andy's eyes drifted to his almost empty glass sitting in front of him.

"But…" Gavin gently nudged.

"If she's staying just because she wants to keep an eye on me, I don't want that. I would never want that."

"Oh…" Gavin breathed.

"You and I both know she would be great at the job. Better than those other two…"

"Two?" Gavin questioned. "I thought there were three…"

"If Fritz was really in the running they would have made it permanent by now. He's former FBI, they are never going to seriously consider him." Gavin slowly nodded his head, Andy did have a point. "Winnie Davis is doing whatever she can to make Sharon's life a living hell. We may all very well be out of a job if the promotion goes to her. And then there's Mason."

"Hmm." Gavin smiled brightly, "Commander Mason; he seems like a nice enough guy. Smart, young and let's not forget attractive." The roll of Andy's eyes was even more exaggerated this time, "You keep that up Andy and your eyes are going to get stuck."

"Ha…ha," Taking his last sip of soda, Andy sat his glass down a little too heavily, "Look…there's just something about the guy I don't like. All the sudden he's being too nice, coming upstairs wanting to help us and the way he says 'Captain'." Taking another sip of wine, Gavin couldn't help but smile at a now very animated Andy, "Did she tell you? He's already offered her a deal!"

Gavin couldn't help himself as a wide smile covered his face, "Well, she is rather fond of deals."

"Just forget it. Forget I called." In a huff, Andy started to stand. "If you can't take this serious, I'm wasting my breath here."

Gavin reached quickly across the table, "Andy…sit down." The firmness of Gavin's voice, stopped him immediately. The two men sat in silence, waiting while the waiter refilled their drinks. The redness of Andy's face was beginning to cool slightly, Gavin thankfully noticed. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were jealous of this Mason guy. Which is stupid by the way! Listen, Andy…You can't let yourself get all worked up over this promotion crap; something you have zero control over. Sharon would not want you stressing…"

"She's talked to you about me?" Andy's voice was low.

It was Gavin's turn to roll his eyes, "Of course she has! She's worried about you!"

Andy's deep brown eyes dropped back to the glass sitting in front of him, "I don't want her to worry, the last thing she needs is to be worried about me."

"Yeah! Well, she would say the exact same thing about you." Taking another sip of wine, Gavin watched Andy over the rim of his glass. "Have you considered that maybe Sharon doesn't want the promotion because she's at a point in her life where there are just more important things? Yes, she's happy at work but… if you think about it, that really is nothing new. She's always gotten along just fine at work, she doesn't need any help with that." Andy softly nodded his head in agreement. "And then there's this dark eyed, fiery spirited Lieutenant that she came very close to losing, not so long ago." The sadness that washed over Andy was palpable. "How much do you remember about those first twenty-four hours after you collapsed in the murder room?"

The question surprised Andy. "If I'm honest about it, not very much. I remember holding to Sharon's wrist and the feel of her ice-cold hand against my cheek. I remember the fear ingrained in her eyes, I'd never seen that before. And then I remember she was there beside my bed, smiling at me." Lifting his glass, Andy took a slow sip.

"In all the years that I've known Sharon, I've never seen her so…" Gavin shook his head, searching for the right word.

"You were there?" The puzzlement etched across Andy's brow.

Gavin looked down for a few beats before his eyes met Andy's, "Provenza asked Rusty to call me, they didn't know what else to do. She was literally inconsolable, almost to the point of making herself sick."

"I didn't know, she never told me. Rusty and Provenza never told me," Andy's voice raised slightly.

"Because she made us promise that we wouldn't tell you. But," Gavin smiled, "I've never been good at keeping those kind of promises. And while we're talking, I'm going to voice something here that I don't think either of you have been willing to do. What happen in that courtroom set something in to motion that neither of you nor Sharon can change." With a deep sigh, Andy's eyes quickly closed in an attempt to shut out those brutal memories. "I honestly can't imagine how it felt to watch the woman you love advance on that maniac. And I'm also sure that somewhere in Sharon's mind she knew she had to stop Dwight before he could hurt you. You don't go through something like that unscathed. It affected you both in ways that you never expected. You had a heart attack. And Sharon, for once in her life couldn't keep it together. So what!" Gavin's voice raised an octave, "you're both human and you both are, to use your word... fine now. Andy…quit worrying about those things that are not important and focus on the one thing right in front of you that is. All I have ever wanted is for my girl to be happy and she finally is thanks to you. So, don't screw it up!"

Running his hands through his hair again, a small chuckle escaped him, "I was about to wasn't I?" Gavin slowly nodded his head. "She talked to you about that day in the courtroom?" Andy couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice.

"Nope. She won't. No matter how many times I've asked her to."

"Yeah," Andy slowly nodded, "She won't talk to me about it either. She says it needs to stay in the past where it belongs. And she's right, but for me that's easier said than done." Glancing at his watch, "I should get going before she starts to wonder what's taking me so long. "Thanks, Gavin." Standing Andy reached out to shake his hand. "I really do appreciate your honesty."

"Give her a kiss for me when you get home."

Andy's grin was undeniable, "will do."

The condo was quiet much to Andy's surprise. Toeing out of his shoes, he hung his suit coat in the entrance hall. Rusty sat at the dining table, his nose buried in his laptop. "Hey Rusty," Andy called softly on his way to the kitchen, not surprised when the boy barely looked up. Opening the refrigerator, he frowned at the two grilled chicken salads still sitting on the second shelf. "Where's your Mom? She didn't eat her salad."

"I haven't seen her, she was already in her room when I got home."

"And, how long have you been home?" Concern seeped into Andy's voice.

Looking back at his laptop, Rusty shrugged, "I don't know, a couple of hours."

Placing his salad back in on the second shelf, Andy rolled his eyes at an unknowing Rusty. The boy definitely had gotten better, but he could still be so self-absorbed sometimes. Making his way to the closed door of their bedroom, Andy slowly turned the knob. The bedroom was dark, a lone sliver of light shining from the partially open closet door. He thought for a moment Sharon was asleep until she spoke, "Don't turn on the light." Her voice was low.

Making his way around to her side of the bed, he carefully sat next to her, "You okay?"

Her response was a low hum, "headache."

"Can I…"

"No," she felt for his hand in the darkness. "I'll be fine, just has to run its course."

"Did you take something?" His fingers traced along the top of her hand. She hummed again. "I know, you just want me to be quiet." With a gently squeeze of her hand, Andy stood from the bed. Making his way into the closet, he put his gun away before changing into his pajamas. Flipping that light off, he padded into the dark bathroom, careful not to turn the light on until he had the door almost closed. Once he was finished brushing his teeth, he took a bath cloth from the linen cabinet. He let the cool tap water run in the sink for a few seconds for dousing the sage green cloth and then squeezing out the excess water. Opening the bathroom door just enough to slip through, he once again approached Sharon's side of the bed. Folding the cool cloth, he placed it gently over her closed eyes and forehead. She jumped slightly at first, but with a soft moan she relaxed into his touch. Leaning forward he placed a soft kiss against her cheek, "I'll be right back. Wake me up during the night, if you need me." A soft sigh was her only reply. "Love you, Sweetheart." She found his hand before he could move away, her soft squeeze said more than words ever could.

Rusty sat still absorbed in his laptop, "she okay?" he questioned as Andy walked back into the living room. Choosing to ignore the kid, Andy continued into the kitchen where he poured a glass of cold water from the refrigerator. "Andy, I asked if Mom is okay?"

Taking a long drink of water, Andy waited several beats before answering, "No, not really." With a frown, Rusty stood, moving closer to the bar separating the dining area from the kitchen. "She has one of those sick headaches. But, you know, she says it has to…"

"Run its course," Rusty finished his sentence. Nodding, Andy took another sip of water, his eyes meeting a very somber looking Rusty. "I'm sorry. I should have checked on her."

With a shrug of his shoulders, Andy placed his glass in the dishwasher. "Not much we can do, she doesn't want us fusing over her. But next time, yeah; maybe check on her and then call me if I'm not at home."

"I will." Rusty watched as Andy walked toward his mother's bedroom, "Night Andy."

"Night kid."

Andy wasn't sure what had awakened him, but when he reached his hand out to an empty bed he quickly sat up. The telling noise from the bathroom, swiftly sprung him to his feet. A single light burned inside the shower stall, casting a dim light across the bathroom. Sharon sat on her knees beside the toilet as the awful retching continued. Grabbing another bath cloth, Andy was quick to run it under the cool water before moving to kneel behind her. Lifting her hair up off her neck, he placed the damp, soft cloth at the base of her skull. Struggling to catch her breath, she leaned her forehead against the edge of the toilet. With his other hand, Andy took this opportunity to flush the toilet. "Done?" he started to ask, but she lifted her head and began to heave again. After a minute or two, she reached to flush the toilet again. Shifting to sit behind her, Andy moved the cloth off her neck to gently wipe at her face. She settled in against his chest, while struggling to get her breathing to even out. "I've got you, just rest for a minute," his voice was soothing against her ear. Her head lulled against his shoulder while she took full advantage of the warmth and security of his chest.

"Thank you," she finally spoke, "I think I'm ready to get up." Andy held carefully to her waist as she slowly got to her feet before getting up himself. It was then that he realized with a small grin that she was wearing his favorite Dodgers shirt. Moving to the vanity, she rinsed her mouth out, before reaching for her toothbrush. Looking up, her eyes met Andy's in the mirror. "I'm fine, I promise. Go back to bed, I'll be there in a few minutes."

The look on his face told her he wasn't so sure, but he turned, walking back into their bedroom. A few minutes later, the bathroom light dimmed and it wasn't long before she was snuggled in to bed next to him. He had missed her earlier, even though she had been less than a foot from him. Wrapping his arm around her, he cradled her into his side. "Better?" his voice vibrated against her ear.

She hummed softly before replying, "Much. How was Gavin?"

"You knew…of course you knew." Andy's hand drifted to her hip, "You don't mind?"

"Mind?" he could feel her lift her head to look at him, "Of course not. Gavin is my oldest, most trusted friend. I'm happy you felt comfortable going to him with whatever is bothering you. I know you feel like you can't talk to Provenza about some things that involve me because that may put him in an awkward position. But Andy, you could talk to me…"

With a deep sigh, he pulled her even tighter, "I don't want you to worry about me, any more than you want me to worry about you."

"Yet, we both worry all the same."

Nodding slightly at her reply, he hummed against the top of her head, "When did you start feeling bad? You seemed okay when I left work."

"On the way home. I…ran into Winnie Davis in the parking garage." She could feel Andy stiffen against her.

"What did she say," his voice was a low growl.

"Doesn't matter. I'm just annoyed that I let her get to me." Slowly she moved her finger in a small circle against his chest. "Andy, I really don't want that promotion but, I don't want her to get it either."

"Tell me about it."

"And, I can't decide just yet, if I can trust Commander Mason." With a muffled yawn she shivered against him, despite the warmth of his body.

His hand slipped from her hip, moving just under the hem of his old t-shirt he pulled her even tighter, the beautiful curve of her body fit so perfectly against him. He hated that she had to deal with the likes of Davis. He wished that there was something he could do, something that would make her forget for even a few hours.


	17. Dead Drop

**A/N Tag to episode 5.17 Dead Drop. Thanks for your continued reviews, likes and follows. Oh, and patience!** **No beta all mistakes are mine.**

Her laughter bubbled through the condo, bringing with it a huge grin to her fiancée's face. She had been on the phone with Emily for almost ten minutes now while Andy rinsed and loaded the dishwasher. It seems little brother wasted no time sharing the happenings of the night with his older siblings. Ricky was the first to call, only because Emily waited until she was home after her performance. Andy could only imagine the talk of dresses and other delicate details happening just beyond the door to their bedroom.

Now clad in his pajama bottoms and white undershirt, Andy moved back to the balcony, the lights of the city summoning his attention. He had to admit he was quite proud of himself; the look of surprise on Sharon's face when he dropped to one knee had been priceless. The tender smile and tears that followed threatened to make him forget exactly what he wanted to say. Spending the rest of their lives together was a decision they had made long before this exact moment, but Andy knew that the thought of getting married again was a dream that Sharon Raydor refused to let herself dwell on. He on the other hand simply could not let it go. He wanted more and in his mind, she deserved so much more than just a live-in boyfriend. He knew the road to an actual wedding date could be lengthy. But, the simple fact that she had his ring on her finger, made the wait, however long, totally worth it.

"Penny for your thoughts," it wasn't until she spoke that Andy realized he was no longer alone. He turned just as she stepped barefoot onto the cool tile. His soft blue stripped pajama top fell mid-thigh, perfectly highlighting her long shapely legs. His eyes traveled slowly up her body as she stepped closer. The words caught in his throat once he realized that only two buttons were holding the fabric closed. His eyes darkened as they traveled to her neck, fully exposed by the messy bun on top of her head and back down the soft expanse of milky, freckled skin leading between her breast. She spoke again, but her words were lost to him. It wasn't until he felt her left hand gently pat the center of his chest that his eyes connected with hers.

"Andy…" his lips crashing into hers cut off all words and thoughts. He lifted her, without breaking the kiss and began the slow walk back into the condo. Her legs slipped effortlessly around his waist, while her hands moved up his neck and into his hair. They made it half way into the living room when the shrill ring of Andy's cell phone stopped him dead in his tracks. He felt her heavy sigh against the side of his cheek as she unlocked her legs and slipped to the hardwood floor.

"I swear if that's Provenza…" he muttered against the side her head, leaving one last chaste kiss to her forehead before he stepped away to find his phone somewhere on the kitchen counter. The moment temporarily lost, Sharon settled in the corner of the couch; her fingers absentmindedly working to close two more buttons on Andy's pajama top.

The sounds of his soft chuckle drew her attention, as Andy stepped closer to the end of the sofa. From the contented look on his face she knew the caller couldn't be his best friend, but the last thing she expected was for it to be hers. Hand over the speaker, Andy mouthed "Gavin" as she looked at him in question. Eyes rolled to the ceiling she slowly shook her head, knowing she had Emily to thank for this interruption. She waited as he continued to smile and listen, never once getting a word in. Sinking down on the sofa next to her, Andy studied her for a moment, before reaching over with one hand and pulling at the two buttons she had just minutes ago fastened. With a coy smile and an expressive raise of her eyebrow, she stood slowly from where she was sitting only to step in between Andy's knees. He sank deeper into the cushions allowing his knees to part even further. Mossy green locking on deep brown, she carefully undid the offending two buttons.

Andy chuckled again, but this time the sound was low, "Sure…" he muttered to Gavin, but his eyes remained locked on hers. With a purse of her lips, Sharon's hands moved lower to the next button. She raised her eyebrows in question as Andy eagerly nodded his head. She had to admit she loved nothing more than to tease him. With one single button remaining, she leaned slightly forward, certain of Andy's current view.

"Hand me the phone…" this he did not expect. She stood up straighter, his beautiful view instantly lost. "Andy, the phone." Without a word to Gavin, Andy held the phone out to her. She moved it from his hand to her ear in one swift motion, listening for a moment as an animated Gavin, none the wiser continued to talk.

With a roll of his neck, Andy sat up straighter, his hands migrating instantly to her waist and the single closed button there. Their eyes met again, and with an almost imperceptible nod of her head his fingers quickly made work of the simple closure. The soft stripes fell open to reveal the darkest of blue lace and satin panties resting perfectly against her hips. It took little effort to pull her gently on to his lap, as the oversized shirt slipped off one shoulder to revel her soft inviting breast.

The heated blush that slowly crept up her chest to her neck and cheeks did not go unnoticed; yet, the words she had for her best friend suddenly escaped her. Pulling the phone back from her hand, Andy did not even bother to listen to what Gavin was saying, "Thanks again Gavin, I'll be sure to tell Sharon you called," and with that he pressed the red end button before tossing his phone into the adjacent chair. Before Andy could act, Sharon shifted off his lap and started toward their bedroom not at all waiting for him to catch up. It wasn't until she stepped just inside the hallway that she turned back with a slow, deliberate smile as the pajama top slipped off her other shoulder and fluttered to the floor.


	18. Bad Blood

**A/N Tag to episode 5.18 Bad Blood. Thanks for your continued reviews, likes, follows and PMs.** **No beta all mistakes are mine.**

Steam began to fill the small bathroom as the tub slowly filled. The scent of sweet lemon hung delicately in the air. With the last of her makeup removed and her hair piled high on top of her head, Sharon began to leisurely undress. It had been a while since she had a night to herself and she planned to take full advantage of a few alone hours. After dropping Ricky at the airport, Rusty had plans to spend the night with Gus; while Andy caught a meeting before joining Provenza at his favorite watering hole. It would be late when he finally got Provenza home, seeing as Patrice was out of town. She loved having Ricky at home for a few days, but sharing one small bathroom with three boys; and yes, at times all three acted like little boys; came with its own set of obstacles.

Down to only her pale blue panties, Sharon checked the water level before walking back into their bedroom to find something to sleep in. Her fingertips just met with the cool metal knob of Andy's t-shirt drawer when she heard what sounded like a knock. She paused, stepping closer to the bedroom door; the knock sounded again. "Damn-it!" she muttered under her breath. Hurrying back into the humid bathroom, she turned the water off. Grabbing the closest thing she could find, she shrugged on a pair of jeans and Andy's discarded dress shirt from the day before. Knotting the shirt at her waist as she hurried down the hall, stopping short once she got to the door. The knock sounded again, even louder this time. Rising up on her toes to peer out the peep hole, the sight before her did nothing to ease her irritation. With a deep sigh, she slowly opened the door.

"I thought for a minute you were going to ignore me."

"The thought did cross my mind," she smirked. "What can I do for you, Jack? If you are looking for your son, you're too late as usual; Ricky left a few hours ago."

"Well, are you going to let me in, or you going to make me stand out here in the hallway?"

With her second deep sigh of the night, Sharon moved back, allowing Jack to step into the foyer. She quietly closed the door behind him, her arms coming to rest across her chest as she moved closer to the entry hall table in hope of not having to offer for him to have a seat.

His eyes slowly wandered from her bare feet and bright pink nail polish, up her long legs and well-fitting jeans to the oversized shirt that obviously belonged to Andy. "You look good." Jack started, "No seriously Sharon, you do," he continued as she rolled her eyes.

"What do you want Jack?" her patience already running thin.

"I just wanted to talk that's all," he shrugged as Sharon eyed him suspiciously. With Jack, there never was a simple conversation. "Don't marry him!" His voice rose, as he shoved his hands into his pants pockets and stepped closer to her, "It's one thing to shack up with the bastard, but marriage. Come on Sharon! What the fuck are you thinking? Andy…Fucking…Flynn of all people! Have you lost your god damn mind!"

"I don't need…" Sharon started.

"No, I'm not finished," stepping even closer, Jack pointed a finger at her. "He'll only ending up hurting you, trust me, I…"

"Trust you? Really, Jack…" she shook her head in disgust.

The half-smile that crossed his lips was sickening, "You do realize, you're not the first woman that Flynn and I have shared? He has a history of wanting what's mine…"

The laugh bubbled from her throat before she could stop herself, "What's yours…" She stepped to move past him, intent on showing him to the door, "This conversation is ov…"

His sudden, bruising grip on her upper arm stopped her in her tracks, "I suggest you listen to me, Shar…ron."

Her eyes narrowed, "And I suggest you remove your hand!"

Jack's grip only tightened as he pulled her roughly to him, the bourbon now evident on his breath, "He'll get tired of you…just you wait and see. I know the kind of women he likes and trust me honey, it's not you. I'm sure it's all sunshine and roses right now but there's only so much nagging a man can take. I know firsthand what's like having to listen to you day in and day out. And poor Flynn will be getting a double dose at work and at home. I give it six months… " Her mind slowly shut down for a few moments, as Jack continued to rant, his words becoming lost to her.

"Damn it, Sharon are you even listening to me?" Coming out of her reverie, her reflexes automatically took over. Once her knee collided effectively with his groin, Jack did not simply let go as she had hoped. Instead, in his fury, Jack shoved her firmly away from him. "You fucking bitch!" he growled through the pain as she collided awkwardly with the hall table. Unable to keep her balance, she fell heavily to the hard wood floor. He edged closer, quicker than she thought possible given the pain he should be in and for a brief moment she expected him to kick her. Instead, as both struggled to get their breathing in check, he reached into the inside pocket of his sports coat, pulling out a white envelope. With a grimace, he leaned forward slightly, dropping the envelope into her lap. "Don't bother getting up, I can show myself out." She stared after him as he limped slowly to the door, "Oh and Sharrron… remember what I said, you will NEVER be enough for him. He'll cheat on you first chance he gets."

"Go to hell, Jack!" Her tone was low, causing him to pause just inside the open doorway.

"I'm already fucking there!" The door slammed loudly behind him.

She sat, eyes locked on the white envelope resting on her lap, her name scrawled across the front in familiar, messy blue ink. She pulled the paper taunt between both hands intent on ripping it into pieces but in the last second, she stopped herself. The contents of this single envelope could hold the key to the future she wanted, the future she deserved with Andy. With a soft groan, she struggled to her feet; feeling every bit her age, she walked into the kitchen eyeing the bottle of red wine resting on the counter.

Andy slipped his key into the lock, careful to be as quiet as possible. The condo was dark, except for the single light burning above the kitchen sink. Toeing out of his shoes, he scooted them under the edge of the hall table. Even in the darkened entry way something seemed off, it took Andy only a few seconds to realize the table had been moved several inches to the right causing a nasty scrape in the paint on the backwall. With a frown, he moved through the living room to the kitchen, there a single wine glass sat out of place on the counter next to an unopened bottle of wine. Wasting no more time, Andy hurried toward their bedroom. The lamp on Sharon's side the bed shone bright, but the bed was empty, the covers still in place. He glanced at the partially cracked bathroom door, "Sharon? Sharon, are you in there?" Pulling the door open the rest of the way, Andy stepped into the also empty bathroom. His eyes quickly moved from her glasses resting on the vanity to the almost full tub. He stepped forward, his fingertips dipping slightly into the now cold water.

Panic brewed just below the surface as Andy made his way back through the condo to the only other place she could be. He slid the balcony door open with a soft whoosh, his eyes swiftly scanning the dark night. She lay curled on her side on the farthest chaise lounge, her back to him. Stepping closer, he took a deep cleansing breath. "Sharon?" he called softly as his hand made contact with her knee. She flinched away from him, instantly sitting up with a soft groan. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he sat down next to her. "I was worried when I couldn't find you."

Avoiding eye contact, her hands moved to brush the loose hair from her face, "what time is it?"

"Not quite midnight." He leaned back slightly, trying to get a good look at her. "Sweetheart…" He reached out intent on taking her hand but he could feel the tension radiating from her the instant their hands met. She stood, abruptly moving away from him; but he didn't miss the pained expression that slipped across her face.

"It's not you," her voice was but a whisper as she moved to the balcony railing, her back to him. "I just need…some space."

"Okay…but come back inside." His eyes traveled up from her bare feet to his rumpled dress-shirt from the day before. "It's freezing out here."

"No… not yet…" she slowly shook her head, "Go on to bed, I'll be there soon."

"Sharon…" He stood, moving just behind her.

"Please Andy!"

Defeated, his hand skimmed lightly along her lower back as he stepped toward the balcony door, "I love you."

A sad smile, cast in the shadows of the distant lights from the city, ghosted across her lips. "I know."

It pained Andy to close the door, leaving her alone with only the cool night air as comfort. Yet, he knew not push her, she would come to him in time. He stood for several moments watching through the glass, hoping she would turn back to him and come inside. As the minutes ticked by, he couldn't help but wonder what happened. Running his hands through his hair, he slowly turned, walking the short distance back to their bedroom. In the time, it took Andy to get ready for bed, he kept coming back to one and only one explanation…Jack.

Taking several deep cleansing breaths, Andy stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror as he willed himself to remain calm. He knew despite what Ricky and Emily thought, Jack would never quietly give up his ties to Sharon. But what worried him even more was the history he shared with Jack, a history that Sharon said she did not need to hear. To say that they were drinking buddies back in the day did not full describe their friendship; there was a lot dirt between the two of them that for now had remained unturned. "Holy shit!" he muttered under his breath. Dropping his toothbrush back into place, Andy turned, with his head hung low, he walked slowly back into the bedroom.

Mossy green met deep chestnut as Sharon looked up from where she sat cross-legged on his side of the bed. Just the fact that she was there waiting, made him breathe a little easier. The jeans and shirt she had on earlier lay across the bench at the foot of their bed while his old green robe swallowed her. "I was cold," she shrugged.

Never loosing eye contact, Andy rounded the bed. He settled in behind her, resting against the headboard, he gently pulled her against the warmth and ease of his chest. She sighed deeply, finally letting herself relax against him. He held her there for several minutes, both taking comfort in the silence surrounding them. "You okay?" his voice was low against the top of her head.

With a low hum, she moved regretfully from his embrace. They needed to talk and she couldn't say everything she wanted cocooned in the protective hold of his arms. It was her instinct to move off the bed all together, but his gentle tug to her wrist stopped her. So, she settled just a few feet away, closer to the foot of the bed. When she finally started to speak, it was even worse than he had imagined. He hated Jackson Raydor, but he also hated the man he once was. She could see the anger and regret wash over him, "Andy, I'm not upset with you."

"Yeah, well… maybe you should be." He looked down, his hands balled into tight fists in his lap.

"Andy?" his eyes slipped closed as his head remained bowed. She slowly edged closer. "Andy, look at me."

It wasn't until he felt the cool touch of her fingertips against his hand that he finally looked up. It only took a brief second for him to get lost in the love and acceptance radiating from her beautiful green eyes. There was more they both could say, but there really was no need. The way they looked at each other, the way their hands fit so perfectly together was enough for them to know that the past no longer mattered. Together, they would make new memories and leave old pains behind them.


	19. Intersection

**A/N Tag to episode 5.19 Intersection. Just some shameless fluff this time.**

 **Thanks for your continued patience. I appreciate all the reviews, likes, follows and PMs.** **No beta all mistakes are mine.**

Her arms sliced through the dark water with a precision that seemed almost effortless. As she neared the pool wall, Andy held his breath even though he knew she would execute a perfect flip turn at the last second. He stood for several more minutes, mesmerized as she completed lap after lap without slowing. There were a million questions he wanted to ask about her interview, but most of all he just wanted to spend a few quiet moments with her. Finally, his desire to see her beautiful green eyes became too much. Making his way to the water's edge at the far end of the pool, he sat with a soft groan, letting his bare legs ease into the surprisingly warm water as he waited for her to turn back towards him. Half a pool length from where he sat, she finally slowed, diving deep under the water only to surface just a few feet from him. Wiping the water from her face, her smile made his heart flutter. "Hey handsome," she breathed deeply.

"Hey you," he grinned. "Water feels good tonight." He swirled his legs around, hoping she would come closer.

"Does that mean I could talk you into joining me?" She floated backward, moving even further away from him.

Swimming was not Andy's favorite form of exercise, but swimming with his beautiful fiancé did have its perks. He shrugged his shoulders slightly, all the while not taking his eyes off her. "Is that a new swimsuit?" He couldn't recall seeing her in navy and hot pink before.

"Maybe…" She kicked her feet lightly, moving back even more. "Come closer and you can see for yourself."

The sound of her teasing voice sent a shiver through him. In one swift motion, his Dodger's t-shirt was off, tossed onto a near by chaise. He slipped from the pool's ledge, immediately going under the deep water. She dove toward the shallow end, but he was quicker than she expected. Before she could get too far, his hand slipped effectively around her ankle, pulling her gently to him. Laughter filled the night air as they broke the surface of the water. His hands easily migrated to her waist, pulling her flush against him. The water was too deep for her to stand, allowing her legs to slip up around him. Her left hand came to rest on his shoulder while her right gently caressed his cheek. "Hi," her smile was intoxicating, as was his lopsided grin.

His right hand traveled from her waist to push the auburn hair from her forehead. "You are so damn beautiful," his voice was a rumble of desire.

"And you are biased…" she teased as her lips sought out his. Her legs automatically tightened around him as they savored the taste of each other until the need for air became too much. He leaned back to get a better look at her. His eyes traveled slowly from the mossy green of her eyes down her beautiful neck. Once he reached her chest, he came to the sudden realization that the pink adorning the center of her navy swimsuit was not a stripe, but a zipper that ran down between her breast to just below her waist. The chuckle that escaped her did not go unnoticed, "You have Gavin to thank." His chestnut eyes looked up, momentarily confused. She shrugged with a coy smile, "an engagement gift…for you."

Even in the night air, she could see his chestnut eyes darken with desire. Her lips found his once again as her fingertips played with the short silver hair at the base of his neck. Slowly he walked them into the shallow water, allowing her to finally stand. She slipped easily from him, the loss of contact stinging instantly. "Where are you going?"

Squeezing the excess water from her hair, she paused a few feet from the pool steps, "I thought we could…continue this inside."

"No…" slowly his head shook.

"No?" Her hands now rested on her hips, accenting the questioning look on her face.

Once more he slowly shook his head, all the while easing closer to her. He tugged gently on her wrist and she effortlessly drifted back into the hardness of his chest. He pulled her down into the water, his hand slipping easily into her wet hair, his lips moving slowly along her jaw. "I have it on good authority that there are no security cameras up here." His whisper was low, as he continued his assault on her neck.

"Andy…" her breath warm against his damp skin, "We…can't…I…" Her next words were lost. Lost in the firm, sweetness of his lips crashing into hers. She was so caught up in the taste of his kiss, the feel of his broad shoulders against her fingers, that she didn't realize he had moved them until she felt the cool tile of the pool wall against her back. Regretfully they parted, resting forehead to forehead in an effort to control their breathing. "Andy…"

"Shh…" he soothed. Eyes still closed, she leaned her head back against the pool wall. With one hand, he tugged on her hip, pulling her flush with his evident desire for her. Her left leg slipped easily around him as if she had no control at all. At the gentle yank against the bright pink zipper, her eyes flew open. The dark chestnut eyes looking back at her were so filled with love and desire, she felt as if she might combust at that very moment.

Andy waited, never wanting to go farther than she was comfortable with. The mossy green looking back at him darkened into a deep, deep grey as she slowly nodded her head. Leaning back to give him better access, she held her breath as he pulled the zipper down more than half way. The hand that was on her hip, moved just inside the open zipper to palm gently at her right breast. Tugging the pink plastic, the rest of the way down, Andy pushed the left side of her swimsuit out of the way as his mouth sought her already hardened nipple resting just above the waterline. He was gentle at first, his tongue soothing and licking the pebbled flesh. But he knew what she wanted. Nipping at the pale flesh just below her nipple, he could imagine the dark purple mark that would be evident later.

With a soft moan she ground into him, her hands finally finding purchase in his damp hair. He couldn't help but glance up at her, not surprised to find her eyes once again closed. His lips moved back to her nipple, the tiny bud even harder than before. "Oh…" she sighed softly. "Please…" but before she could utter his name, his lips were replaced by teeth. The pain burned through her, yet felt so incredibly good. Bucking against him, her hands tried to pull him even closer, a move that would have rewarded both in normal circumstances. Yet, somehow Andy managed to lose his footing, pulling them both backwards under the water.

For a second time tonight, their laughter filled the night air. Andy reached for her, but this time she was too fast and before he could gather himself she was standing on the pool steps; swimsuit righted as if nothing had happened. "Where are you going?" he asked once again. She stepped from the pool without answering or looking back at him. He watched as she walked to the far end of the pool. She still did not speak, but the gentle sway of her hips told him what he needed to know. She gathered a towel from the chaise, running through her hair several times before drying the rest of her body. Slipping his Dodger's tee over her head she gathered her things before turning back toward him.

She walked slowly back to the shallow end of the pool where Andy still stood a few feet from the steps. "Is there something I can help you with?" She questioned with a soft smile.

The deep chuckle that escaped him echoed across the dark water. "I have…" he looked down, "a bit of a situation here."

"Hmm," she nodded her head slightly. "A very trustworthy source recently informed me that there are…" she moved her free hand through the air, "no security cameras up here. So…I really don't see the problem."

Shaking his head, he slowly ran his hands over his face and through his hair. Water cascaded from his tented-out gym shorts as he leisurely made his way up the steps to where she was waiting for him. "You are a very bad influence on…" The towel hit him smack in the center of this chest.

"Me?" The light dancing in her eyes betrayed the forced frown on her face. He laughed again as he hurriedly tried to towel off.

"I guess I'm in a bit of trouble then?"

"We'll see…" She turned, walking slowly towards the stairs. The rhythmic swing of her hips was once again mesmerizing. "Andy," His eyes met hers at the sound of her melodious voice, "Don't be all night…I believe you have some unfinished business to attend to."


	20. Shockwave: Part 1

**A/N Tag to episode 5.20 Shockwave: Part One.** **No beta all mistakes are mine.**

The chill settled deep in Sharon's bones despite the sheet and blanket surrounding her. She longed to feel not only his warmth, but the rugged weight of his body against hers. Yet, the last thing she wanted to do was wake him. He was already worried enough and if she sought him out in the middle of the night, he would know that she really wasn't fine. The tightness in her chest and the ache in her shoulder more than reminded her how lucky they all had been.

It was well after midnight when they finally settled into bed after a very long shower. It took several washings for Andy to get all the soot and grime out of her hair. But she didn't mind, the magic of his fingers against her scalp made her forget for just a little while, what they had been through in the last ten hours. Sleep came quickly for both; but as usual after an hour or so, she was now wide awake, unable to shut down the thoughts swimming through her mind. She wished, more often than not that she had Andy's knack for sleeping.

She shivered again, unable to shake the deep chill. With a soft groan, she rolled to her right, hoping she could settle against the contented warmth of his body without waking him. Instead of finding the solid warmth she longed for, she was surprised to find the space next to her empty and cold. With another muffled groan, she sat up, wincing at the stiffness in her arms and shoulders. She could only count on one hand the number of times Andy had gotten out of bed in the middle of the night and each of those times had been to look for her. After sitting on the edge of the bed for a few moments, she pushed herself up; the deep breath she attempted burned through the unfamiliar tightness in her chest. Tugging on Andy's oversized pajama top covering her, Sharon made her way into the bathroom, flipping on the light above the vanity as she went. The door to the hallway was closed, the lights instantly felt too bright and for just a few seconds she felt dizzy. Steading herself on the vanity, she closed her eyes waiting for the feeling to pass. After twisting her hair up into a messy bun, she took a few more minutes to herself, deciding to check in on Rusty before going to look for Andy.

As she stepped into the hallway, she was surprised to find a sliver of light glowing from the partially opened door to Rusty's room, stepping closer she couldn't help but hear the low voices inside.

"I'm not mad at you Andy, I just don't understand…"

The deep sigh from the man she loved was unmistakable, for she has heard it many times. "Look Kid… your mother doesn't need me to be her protector at work. She's got that covered."

"I understand that, but…" the tone of Rusty's voice was nothing but understanding.

"But?" Andy coaxed.

"It took hours for her to get back from the cemetery and you…"

"Did exactly… what I was supposed to do." Andy's low voice interrupted him.

"Really?" Rusty countered. The sudden silence was deafening. Out in the hall, Sharon leaned heavily against the wall next to the doorway. "She could have died…" his voice was now but a whisper.

Andy ran his hands over his face, "I know."

Rusty stepped closer, "Do you?... because I'm not so sure."

Andy turned, no longer able to look at the kid, "god damn-it Rusty!" It had been a long time since Sharon had heard that tone in Andy's voice, she debated on going in and putting a stop to this nonsense, but Andy's next words stilled her. "Do you honestly believe I wanted to be stuck at PAB while she…" his voice broke. The silence that followed was excruciating. Sharon turned, leaning her forehead against the door facing, she fought to gain control of her emotions. When he spoke again, his voice was barely audible, "Regardless of what I wanted to do…I did exactly what your mother needed me to do…what I promised her, I would do…" Turning back, Andy's dark eyes met Rusty's, "My job… and making sure that you were okay." With another deep sigh, Andy sat heavily on the edge of Rusty's bed, the memories of what happened at the graveyard flooding through his mind. "How dare you think… that I wasn't…" he paused, unable to put words to turmoil boiling within him.

"I'm sorry…" Rusty hung his head, his words coming too fast, "Andy…I'm sorry! I, I…" he stammered. "Damn-it…I was just so scared!"

The anger and irritation now vacant from Andy's voice, "Me too, Kid. Me too."

Wiping at the tears rolling down her cheeks, Sharon slipped quietly back across the hall. Her hand absentmindedly moved between the buttons of Andy's shirt to rub at the tightness in her chest. Eyes closed, she leaned heavily against the vanity, as a round of coughs shook her entire body. The arm that slipped around her was solid and warm. She melted into firmness of his chest. "I've got you…I've got you," his voice soft against her bare neck. Her eyes drifted open once the coughs subsided to meet his dark eyes in the mirror. "How much did you hear?"

"Enough…" her hand slipped down over his. "Are you…"

His smile was soft, "I'm fine, Rusty's fine…we…are fine." She turned her head into to his chest as a single tear slid down her cheek. "You know…he…just loves you so much. And while his approach was off, he had every right to be worried. I really was surprised he didn't corner me earlier today. This balancing act we have going, is more difficult with Rusty spending so much time in the murder room." She slowly nodded her head. "Now, let's get you… back in bed." Stepping back, his hands moved to her shoulders, loosely guiding her into the bedroom.

Rolling her shoulders under his touch, "I'm not sure, I can go back to sleep."

"Would a massage help?"

With a low hum, she sat on the edge of the bed. Wasting no time, Andy kneeled in front of her, his fingers making quick work of the buttons on the shirt covering her. She shivered as the garment slipped from her shoulders. "Cold?" He ran his hands up and down her arms.

"That's why I came looking for you. I was so cold when I woke up…" she shrugged slightly before easing back on the bed with a soft groan.

"Okay?" the concern shown bright in his eyes.

"Only a little sore," she rolled to her stomach, "nothing your magic hands can't cure." Eyes slipping closed, she lay there a few moments before she felt the bed dip as Andy moved beside her. "Hmm, lavender…" she sighed.

"If I hurt you…"

"Shh…" she soothed. The oil was already warmed somewhat by his hands as he started just below her hairline, working his way down her neck to her shoulders. "Andy?" her voice startled him and he quickly lifted his hands into his lap. She rolled slightly to her side, her hand coming to rest on his knee, "You're not going to hurt me… I promise, I'm fine." She rolled back to her stomach.

He gazed at her for a few moments, his eyes tracing the smattering of freckles down the milky skin of her back until they disappeared under the waist band of her pale pink boy shorts. He had long before memorized every inch of her, from the firm swell of her bottom leading down to her long, perfect legs. Shifting beside her, he carefully straddled her hips, his hands finally finding purchase against her shoulder blades as a contented sigh escaped her. His hands were magical as they soothed and kneaded the tense muscles of her shoulders and upper back. He scooted backward, now straddling her upper thighs, giving him better leverage against her lower back. She stifled a groan when his fingers met an area just below her ribcage on her right side. "Okay?" concern evident in his voice.

"Hmm…just a little tender right there."

Leaning down, he carefully peppered the tender area with kisses before moving his hands back to her shoulder blades. Using one finger, he traced a firm path down the center of her back sending a shiver through her. She arched into him, her bottom brushing against his already hardening desire for her. "Shh…shit," he moaned. She twisted beneath him, leisurely rolling to her back. Their eyes met in the pale light of the bedside lamp, desire filling both green and brown. His hands moved to her breasts, kneading her soft mounds, her pebbled nipples shone in the light from the oil still on his hands.

She reached out, palming him over his pajama bottoms. "Andy…please."

"I…I…" he stammered, shaking his head.

"We'll take it slow," she reassured him, while her grip tightened around him.

Slow was one of Andy's favorite things, it gave him the opportunity to give her the attention he felt she deserved. Taking his time, he kissed and worshipped her beautiful body until she shattered beneath him, pulling him over the edge a few moments behind her. Now some two hours later, Andy listened to the rhythmic sounds of her breathing as she slept curled against him, her hand tightly fisting his grey t-shirt just below his heart. Sleep had quickly claimed her and for that Andy was grateful. Exhaustion and fear settled deep within him; yet, sleep refused to come. He could have lost her today and it wasn't until now, in the darkness of their bedroom with the weight of her sleeping body pressed against him that he paid the cost of keeping his promise to her.

 **A/N2: Only one chapter left. Many, many thanks to everyone who has supported this story. I already have an AU Shandy story in the works but I would be interested in hearing what you want to see next. PM me or just leave in your review. Thanks again everyone!**


	21. Shockwave: Part 2

**A/N: Tag to episode 5.21 Shockwave: Part Two. No beta, all mistakes are mine.**

 **A/N2: We are finally to the end of Hearts after Midnight. A heartfelt thank-you to all of you who have continued this journey with me. Thanks for your patience, favorites, follows and reviews. Look for my next story Grace coming soon.**

Her hands are cold; more specifically, the hand he has held for the past eight and a half minutes since they pulled out of the parking garage, still feels cold. This seemingly insignificant detail shouldn't worry him, yet it does. He glances at their hands joined atop the center console, then sneaks a look at her face before returning his eyes to the road. Sharon's been quiet ever since they left PAB; too quiet in fact, she appears to be sleeping, but he knows she just resting her eyes. "So, Commander…" he couldn't be more proud, but the word still felt weird on his lips, "I thought we could stop somewhere nice for dinner…you know, to celebrate."

The gentle squeeze on his hand drew his eyes back to her face for moment, the green looking back at him was dull…cloudy even, "Oh…Andy," she softly hummed. "Not tonight."

He ran his thumb along the top of her hand, "You okay?" He studied her face once more, she looked exhausted. Her eyes were closed again, her head rested against the back of the seat.

"Honestly…" she glanced back at him with a soft smile, "I can't remember the last time I felt this tired. I think, almost getting blown up twice in a matter of days, is finally catching up with me." She saw the worry ghost across his features, even though his eyes had returned to the road in front of them. She squeezed his hand again, "Andy, I'm fine… you know the paramedics checked me over yesterday. Just bruised and tired, that's all." Pulling her hand from his to stifle a cough, she couldn't hide the grimace that washed over her.

He knew first hand, the kind of pain she had to be in, coughing when your ribs are bruised hurts like a son of a bitch. He moved his hand to rest on her thigh, drawing comforting circles with his index finger. His mind kept replaying the last twenty-four hours over and over in his head. Surprisingly, she had already been in bed when he finally got home last night after dealing with FID. That in its self, told him she was feeling worse that she was letting on. It wasn't until their shower together this morning that he saw for himself the dark red and purple patches littering her left side, especially around her hip and ribcage.

"Andy?" the breathy sound of her voice and the feel of her hand now atop his brought him out of his thoughts. He turned to look at her, "Something…" She moved her hand to her chest, the pain was almost unbearable, "I…"

"Sharon?" panic laced his voice. He glanced back at the traffic in front of them before meeting her eyes once again.

Her grip on his hand tightened, fear filling her eyes, "Can't…" she pushed against the center of her chest with her other hand, "breathe."

"Okay…okay…don't panic!" He mumbled more for himself than for her. "You're gonna be fine, Sweetheart. Just focus on breathing. I know you can do that for me." Her nod was barely perceptible. "I'm going to call Provenza; he and Patrice can get Rusty." He hated to let go of her hand, but he really didn't have a choice.

Andy waited for Provenza to answer, his focus split between the traffic around them and keeping an eye on Sharon. Her breathing was steadily becoming more and more shallow; the pallor of her skin a deathly white, tears streamed down her cheeks. "Damn-it Flynn, you better not be calling me to a scene," the irritation seeped from the older Lieutenant's voice.

"I…" he glanced over at Sharon, "I need you to get Rusty."

"What do you mean get Rusty?" He interrupted. "As usual Flynn, you're not making any sense."

"Can you just shut up for one god-damn minute and listen to me!" the soft touch of her hand against his thigh calmed him slightly. "Listen…" he started again, "Sharon's sick…we're on our way to St. Leo's. I need you to go get Rusty and bring him to the hospital, but wait until you're almost…"

"Don't worry I'll handle Rusty," his voice now laced with concern. "Where are you now?"

"Just got off the 101…maybe ten…" he felt her hand slip from his leg before he glanced over at her. "No…No…No…" her head lolled off to one side before she slumped forward, the seat belt catching her. "Shit…Shit…Sharon…Sweetheart…No…" One hand reached for her neck trying to find her pulse, while he tightened his grip on the steering wheel with the other.

"Flynn? Flynn?" Provenza yelled over the phone.

"She…" his own breathing loud in his ears. "Passed out, she's still breathing…kind of, but her pulse is way too fast. Shit…come on Sharon…come on baby… Look, I gotta go…I've got to focus on getting her…" He hung up without finishing his sentence. His eyes scanning the road ahead he reached down, flipping on the lights and siren in the unmarked sedan, intent only on getting her through the traffic and safely to the hospital. The feel of her hand jerking against his thigh startled him, he looked over just in time to see her eyes flutter open, only to slip closed again. He guided his hand around hers, pulling it to his chest, her light blue tinged fingertips making his foot press harder on the gas pedal. "Hang on, Sweetheart! Please…we're almost there, just hang on."

Tires squealed as he took the turn-off to the emergency entrance at St. Leo's with far too much speed, but Andy managed to keep control of the car, coming to a stop seconds later in the space marked for police officials. As he hurried from his side of the car he was startled to hear his name.

"Lieutenant Flynn?" the young man's voice questioned as he rounded the nearby ambulance.

Looking up, relief spread over Andy. "I need some help over here."

Pete Alford hurried past Andy, to quickly open the passenger door. The young paramedic knelt next to the car, "Captain Raydor…" his hand moved instantly to her neck, searching out her pulse, "I spoke with Ricky last night, he said his Mom was in the explosion yesterday."

"Yeah, she was fine until…"

Andy stepped back as Pete quickly lifted Sharon from the car and hurried through the sliding glass doors of the emergency bay. The young man began barking orders the second they were inside. Andy watched as she was placed on a gurney and wheeled through a set of dark grey double doors. Moving to follow them, Pete placed his hand against Andy's shoulder. "You can't come back here, Sir." The door closed with a soft whoosh, effectively separating him from the woman he loves.

With a jagged breath, Andy leaned against a nearby wall. Time stood still, his eyes slipped closed as he willed himself to calm down. "Lieutenant?" His dark eyes opened to meet the crystal blue ones staring back at him. "She's in good hands. These…" the young man held out Sharon's glasses, watch and engagement ring, "will be much safer with you." Andy could only nod as he carefully took the items from Pete. "I've gotta get going, but I'll check in later. And Sir, don't worry, she's a tough one."

"Yeah," his head dipped. "Thanks Pete."

Moving to a chair down the hallway to the left of the double doors, Andy's legs felt like jelly. He sat heavily, all the while staring at the items in his hands. He slipped her glasses into the inside pocket of his suit coat, her watch into the side pocket. He leaned forward, the flawless lines of the emerald cut diamond staring back at him did nothing to diminish the dread and fear threatening to overwhelm him. This ring had been the first one to catch his eye, but he looked at dozens more before coming back to the stately diamond. He had never planned on an emerald cut, in his mind he wanted a vibrant, multifaceted ring that screamed I love Sharon Raydor. Now he rolled his eyes slightly at the thought, boy did he almost get it wrong. In the end, it was the simple, elegant beauty and the promise within that brought him back to this very ring. His mind wandered back to the night she agreed to marry him; he could still hear her soft whisper against his ear, the warm feel of her breath against his skin.

"Mr. Flynn?" the too loud, yet familiar voice pulled him from the shelter of his memories. "With me…please." Slipping the ring into the safety of his shirt pocket, Andy moved quickly behind Doctor Liu. "I was in emergency assisting with another patient when I heard Caption Raydor was brought in." She held the large grey door open for him. "She was in the explosion at the Police Administration Building yesterday, is that correct?"

"Yes," Andy's voice cracked. "Paramedic's checked her…"

"It's not uncommon for injuries of this type to manifest at later time," she interrupted as they continued down a long corridor of glass cubicles. Injuries…injuries, the word sounded over and over in Andy's mind. "Mr. Flynn? Are you listening?"

"Sorry…I…is Sharon okay?"

"She will be," Dr. Liu paused near the end of the hallway. "She's been very agitated since she regained consciousness."

Andy frowned, "That doesn't sound like Sharon. She…"

"Once again, given the nature of her injuries, Mr. Flynn, it's not uncommon," the doctor continued. "The trauma she sustained to her left side yesterday has caused a pneumothorax. Luckily, only a portion of her lung has collapsed but this trauma caused her oxygen levels to drop dangerously low. Confusion is just one of the side effects."

"Okay…" he ran his hand through his hair, "what do we do now."

"I need to insert a needle into her chest cavity to relieve the pressure against her lungs. But first, I need you to see if you can get her to calm down. I need her to be very still and I would prefer not to have to give her anything."

'And I'm sure she would prefer not to take anything,' Andy thought with a shrug. "But she will be okay?" He searched the doctor's face for any signs that she wasn't telling him the whole story.

"Barring any other complications…and honestly, I don't expect there to be any; Overall, Captain Raydor is healthy and physically active. After this small procedure and a few hours observation, I don't see why you can't take her home tonight."

With a deep sigh, Andy finally felt like he could breathe, "Commander…"

"Excuse me?" Doctor Liu questioned.

"It's actually Commander Raydor…now."

"Oh…well, remind me to congratulate her once she's feeling better," the Doctor smiled. "You ready?" Andy nodded softly before following her into the last cubical on the left.

As he stepped into the small glass room, just the sight of her reminded Andy once again that life should never be taken for granted, that each day they have together is a gift. She looked so small against the stark white sheets. Her eyes were closed, her hands balled into tight fists, the oxygen tubing draped across her face seemed so out of place. "Sharon?" she looked up at the deep whisper of her name. The dark green eyes looking back at him spoke volumes about the turmoil she was fighting within herself. In one stride, Andy moved to her side, gently wiping her cheeks. "Hey."

"Hey," she whispered.

"Shh…it's okay. You're okay," he gently pushed the hair back from her forehead.

She slowly shook her head, "I don't like this."

He didn't hesitate, finding her lips without regret. She tasted of tears and his heart ached for her. Cupping her cheek, he searched her still too dark eyes, "Did Dr. Liu explain what's going on?"

"I don't know…my head hurts and," her tears threatened again, "her voice is so…loud."

"Oh, sweetheart," He didn't even try to hide the grin that slipped across his face, "It is too loud, isn't it?"

Slowly nodding her head, she reached up tracing the faint stubble on his chin, "Andy, what's wrong with me?"

He pulled her hand to his chest, "You have a collapsed lung; that caused your oxygen level to drop…"

"And that's why I don't feel like myself…" He could almost see the relief wash over her.

"Yeah," he ran his thumb along the top of her hand, "just a small procedure, a few days of much deserved rest and you will be as good as new; I promise." Andy turned, nodding his head to Dr. Liu, all the while saying a silent prayer that he was right.

~~~SA~~~

The morning sun was just beginning to peak over the distant hills, offering a soft glow against the damp air. She settled on the chaise, pulling his robe underneath her chin. It had been after two in the morning when they finally got home from the emergency room, both of them physically and mentally spent. Andy was asleep before his head hit the pillow but Sharon was restless, unable to find a deep comforting sleep.

"Mom?" Rusty's voice startled her.

"Rusty, you should be in bed." She knew he was tired too, after having refused to leave the hospital without her.

"I couldn't sleep," she pulled her knees up with a slight grimace, giving him room to sit on the end of the chaise. "I kept having the same dream." He ran his fingers through his hair as their eyes met, "what about you? Doctor Liu said you need to rest."

She rolled her eyes, "I can rest here just fine." She studied his face in the pale morning light, "Want to tell me about this dream of yours?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "not really."

"Hmm," he knew that hum, the one that always makes him spill his guts no matter how hard he tries not to.

"Damn-it Mom," he shook his head.

"What…I didn't say anything," her smile was soft; her eyes bright, despite the dark circles underneath them.

His face turned serious, "what if…we…lose you?" the sadness in his eyes was not lost on her.

"Rusty, I'm not…"

"No," he reached out, his hand coming to rest on her leg, "You don't know that. We…don't know that, anymore. You've had two very close calls just in the last few days and we… damn-it," he looked away, trying to hold in his emotions.

"We…" the word played over and over in her mind as she studied the young man sitting before her. There was a time, not so long ago that "we" would have been selfishly replaced with "I", given this same conversation. "Rusty, do you mind me asking who we…is?" she knew the answer, but she needed to hear him say it.

It was his turn to roll his eyes, "Well, Andy…of course. I mean, Emily and Ricky too, but Andy…" he caught her bright smile before she could even try to hide it. "Okay…okay, I walked right into that one didn't I." With another sly smile, she softly shrugged her shoulders.

"Sweetie, Andy loves you very much and if something were to happen to me…."

"I know…" He interrupted, his voice rising slightly as he stood, moving closer to the railing. "Mom…I know that Andy would be here for me, I believe that now. But who would be here for him?" Confusion washed over her before Rusty could continue, "Because I…wouldn't be enough. Nicole and Drew… wouldn't be enough. Don't you see that? He would be lost without you…we all would be. But Andy…"

She slowly shook her head, "Rusty…"

"The kid's right," his voice carried across the morning air. She turned, slowly meeting his gaze, deep brown holding mossy green as he stepped towards her. "Of course," he sat down, taking her hand in his, "I'll always have Provenza, he's gonna out live all of us."

"Oh my god!" Rusty muttered under his breath with a small chuckle.

She reached up, tracing along his jaw with one finger, she tilted his chin slightly before capturing his lips in hers. Rusty, turned looking out over the hills, he would let them have this moment or maybe even two. Because after the last few days, goodness knows they deserve it.


	22. Thoughts on Season 6

**A/N: Thoughts on Season 6. Forgive me, but I couldn't get this out of my head. I've gone back and forth over the past week trying to decide if I should post it or not. After some encouragement from friends, here it is. No beta, all mistakes are mine.**

The condo was quiet, but that was to be expected at three- thirty on a Thursday afternoon. The wave of relief Andy Flynn felt when he spotted her grey sedan parked in her normal space in the parking garage did not linger long after he stepped into their silent sanctuary. He had known something was off with her for weeks now, and he wasn't the only one, the entire team was worried. After removing his holster, he hung his suit coat by the door. Not quite sure where she was, Andy quietly placed his keys in the cobalt blue bowl while toeing out of his shoes. Slipping the black dress shoes under the hall table, he stepped through the living room to the balcony door; peering out, he was disappointed to find the space empty. Backtracking, he moved to the open doorway of their bedroom. The afternoon light cast an eerie shadow across the room; with a frown, he leaned against the door facing. The sight before him was unnerving to say the least. A seemingly asleep Sharon lay, curled on her side. Her head rested against his pillow, while his old green robe covered her. He had reminded himself several times during the last forty-seven minutes that he needed to stay calm but right now, at this moment, he needed answers.

She stirred the instant he sat on the edge of the bed, "What…what time is it?" confusion filled her voice. She thought she had set an alarm on her phone, giving her plenty of time to pull herself together before Andy or Rusty got home.

His voice was flat, "Not quite four."

"Oh…" with a soft hum, she rolled to look at him.

"Oh," his tone was mocking. His effort to stay calm was slowly vanishing as anger and worst of all fear threatened to consume him, "Is that's all you have to say?" his voice rose with each word.

"Andy…" She reached for him, but he stood quickly, just as her fingertips ghosted his arm.

"Jesus Christ Sharon!" He began to pace in front of the bed, "What is going on? I had to find out from Provenza that you were gone for the day; instead of in a meeting with Mason like you…" accusation laced his voice, "led me to believe."

"I…" her voice was almost foreign to him, "Simply said…I had a meeting, that wasn't a lie." With a low cough, she sat up, hugging her knees to her chest, his robe slipped down her bare legs.

Biting his tongue to keep from making things worse, he turned to look at her. His temper evaporated immediately as he studied her. She was wearing his soft lilac dress shirt from the day before, but it was the pale green of her eyes that stopped him cold. She looked tired…really tired. Running both hands through his hair, he moved back to the bed. Looking up, she held his gaze as he sat next to her. Unable to stop himself from touching her, ran his thumb along the top of her foot. "So…are you going to tell me what's really going on?"

Not trusting her voice, she slowly shook her head "no."

"Okay…" he breathed, still intent on getting the answers he needed. "How many…meetings" his voice rose an octave, "have you had in the last month or so?"

She wasn't dumb, she knew exactly what he was asking. "Four…or five." His exhale was audible as he stood again, he needed some air before he did or said something he would ultimately regret. In a few long strides, Andy stalked out of their bedroom before she had a chance to stop him. "Andy wait…" but her voice fell on deaf ears. Tears burned at the back of her throat as a fit of coughs threatened to strangle her. Sitting on the edge of the bed she wanted nothing more than to go after him, but she wasn't ready to face him or face the truth. This wasn't how this was supposed to happen, this wasn't how she planned on telling him. But now… now there was no plan. Her eyes slipped closed, her hand migrated to the center of her chest. She struggled to slow her intake of air as each breath became more and more shallow, giving her less oxygen than the one before. She coughed again, silent tears rolled through closed eyes down her cheeks. Minutes passed and all she could think about was the hurt in his dark eyes. Eyes still closed, she stood, intent on finding him. The wave of dizziness that washed over her was unexpected; stumbling forward she reached out, only be thankfully caught by his strong arms.

"I've got you…Shh…I've got you," he soothed, lifting her with no effort, he cradled her to his chest. Has she lost weight, he couldn't help but worry. She seemed so small, frail even.

"I was coming to find you," her breath was warm against his neck, yet her fingertips were ice cold against his shoulder.

He moved them back to the bed. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart. I needed to clear my head for a minute." Sitting beside her, he rearranged the pillows, making sure she was comfortable before covering her legs with his robe, "I just…I honestly don't know what to think. Not only are you shutting me out, but you lied to me…Sharon?" The question in his voice and the hurt in his dark chestnut eyes literally sent a sharp pain through her chest; unable to bear it, she looked away. "Oh no, you're going to look at me," his calloused fingers were rough against her chin, "and you are going to tell me exactly... what is going on."

Their eyes met again, both dark with fear, "I…can't do this." Her voice was so low, he strained to hear her. "I never want to hurt you…" She pulled his hand into her lap, once again the coolness of her fingertips surprised him, "You deserve so much more than I… can ever give you." He felt something push against the palm of his hand, looking down, he swallowed hard. Tears suddenly burned at the back of his throat. "I'm…giving you a chance to…walk away," Her voice broke, tears streamed down her cheeks, "Please…Andy... You deserve so… so much more."

His chest ached at the weight of the ring against the center of his hand. The shock that registered on his face was palpable, "What…no…Sharon? That is not what…this is all about. No!"

She moved her hand atop his, closing his fingers around the ring that symbolized so much, "Andy…trust me, it's for the best."

"No." He moved from the bed, pacing again. "Damn-it Sharon."

"Please," she wiped at the tears still falling, "I need you to calm down."

"Calm down…calm down!" His dark eyes bore into her, "Are you fucking kidding me? You're telling me… you don't love me, you don't want to spend your life with me and you expect me to stay calm?"

"That's not what…I said…I…" burying her face into her hand, her voice shattered into a muffled sob. She felt the bed shift next to her.

He pulled gently at her wrist, "Look me straight in the eyes and tell me you don't love me."

She slowly shook her head, "I…can't." Their eyes met again, "I love you so much…it terrifies me sometimes."

His voice was slightly lower, "Then…what is THIS all about? Because, I can tell you right now. You are not pushing me away. I will never, walk away from you. I don't care what you think Stroh may do…"

"I…" She ran her hand across her face, pushing the tangle of curls out of the way, "You don't know how much I…oh god," she sobbed softly, "wish it was just Stroh…" the defeat in her voice had an air of finality to it that chilled him to the bone.

He lifted her right hand in his, pulling her closer, "tell me…please. I deserve to know."

She cupped his cheek with her left hand, "I'm sick." That one word; the word no one ever wants to hear was like a knife through his heart. Her voice was muffled in his ears as he struggled to focus on her now flat, monotone voice, "I…haven't felt…like myself for a while now. I can't seem to shake this cold and… I started getting really out of breath swimming laps, my…chest hurts sometimes." She wiped at the tears rolling down his cheeks, "Hey…"

"Why didn't you…tell me? I…knew something was wrong," he whispered. He pulled her gently into his arms, into the warmth and safety of his chest. She trembled against him as he laid back on the bed, the weight of her body slight atop his. Running his fingers through her hair, he listened as she softly spoke of the damage to her lungs caused by the dust and debris from the multiple explosions. "We'll get a second opinion," his voice rumbled against his ear.

She looked up at him, the lost look in her eyes told him what he didn't want to hear, "I did. Andy, I've seen three different specialists in the last four weeks. They all say the same thing. The scar tissue in my lungs will never get better…only worse…over time." He pulled her back into his chest, holding her even tighter as her words sank in. "I don't…" her voice was muffled against him, "want to be a…burden. You don't…"

"Stop…" his pained voice interrupted her, "You will never be…a burden to me. Don't you know how much I…love you? How much I want you to be my…wife. If I never believe nothing else, I honestly believe that we are meant to spend the rest of our lives together." She lifted her head again, cloudy green reflected in his deep brown eyes, "Even if we only have a year or a month or god forbid even a day…" He ran his finger along her jaw, wiping at her tears, "I would want to spend that day with you, as husband and wife. That is the only thing I want, the only thing I need, really." She lowered her head back to his chest once more, the steady beating of his heart offered a calmness she craved. "Promise me…" his voice was low, his fingers moved slowly across her shoulder, "Promise me, no more secrets." Unable to speak she nodded slowly against him. "Here…" He shifted slightly under her, sliding her off the side of his chest, he sat up with low groan. Holding carefully to his forearm, she struggled to sit up beside him.

"This… is this what you want?" she quietly asked, searching his face for the answer.

"You're what I want…for whatever life we have left…Just you, the rest…" he shrugged slightly, "will work its way out, one way or another.

With a sad smile, her hand smoothed over the front of his light grey shirt still damp from her tears, "Can you forgive me?"

"Already have…" his lopsided smile slowly began to warm her heart. "But I do have just one more question."

She tugged at her bottom lip, "Okay?"

"Sharon Raydor…" he held the stately emerald cut diamond out to her, "Will you be mine…for the rest of our lives?"

Her breath caught, her eyes searched his for a few beats; leaning in, she brushed her lips softly against his, "Yes...fine." With a low chuckle, he slipped the ring back onto her finger, exactly where it was always meant to be. She traced her fingertips across the stubble on his chin, mossy green meeting dark chestnut once more, the fear that had been there only minutes before was somehow gone, replaced by love and most of all peace. With her soft sigh, Andy felt the last of her tension finally slip away. He pulled her in closer, taking a moment to reconnect and remember that together, they are always stronger.


	23. Sanctuary City, part I

**A/N 6.01 Sanctuary City Part 1 missing scene. No beta, all mistakes are mine.**

 **A/N2 Originally I had planned to start a new story for season 6, but after I started writing this, I changed my mind. It seemed to flow well and reflect upon other chapters of Hearts after Midnight.**

The sound of the condo door closing drew Andy's attention away from the book in his lap. Without speaking or even a second glance, Rusty rounded the corner to the hallway. The slam of his bedroom door soon followed, echoing through the quiet space. With a roll of his eyes and soft shake of his head, Andy stood, silently making his way to their partially open bedroom door. He peaked inside, finally letting out the breath he didn't realize he was holding at the sight of her still sleeping form. He pulled the door almost closed, leaving it open only a few inches. Padding back to the sofa in his sock feet, Andy once again settled into the corner of the sofa, his attention easily migrating back to his book. Seven pages later at the sound of on-coming footsteps, he gently closed his book.

"Where's Mom?" The kid's tone was clipped as he continued into the kitchen. Running his hand across his face, Andy slipped his reading glasses off. He turned, watching as Rusty held the refrigerator door open, "there's still two pieces of chicken in here…" by this time Andy was standing to the right of the sofa, "One was for me and one was for Mom." He peered at Andy over the top of the refrigerator door.

"She thought she wanted soup instead…" The sound of the refrigerator being slammed shut, stopped Andy in his tracks. His eyes met Rusty's now only a few feet away, the anger and irritation evident. "Sharon told me about Gus…"

Rusty slowly shook his head, "I'm not discussing Gus."

Raising his hands in the air, Andy backed away, "Fine…fine, I was just trying to help…"

"Instead trying to help me, have you thought about helping Mom!" the bite to Rusty's words did not go unnoticed.

"Excuse me?" Andy tried to keep his voice calm.

"I have text messages from Emily and Ricky, both wanting to know how Mom's appointment with her doctor went. The appointment," Rusty's voice rose with each word, "you…let her miss."

With a deep sigh, Andy stepped toward the balcony door, "Come on…" he motioned. With a scowl, Rusty remained unmoving. "Please?" Quietly sliding the glass door open, Andy's dark eyes met Rusty's once again. "Rusty…" his tone was dangerously low. With a huff, the kid stepped across the living room, through the door still held open by Andy.

"I don't understand…" Rusty started before Andy could get the door closed all the way.

"What I don't understand," Andy interrupted, "is why we have to continue having this same conversation over and over again. Do you honestly think I don't have your Mom's best interest at heart?" He stepped to the railing, looking out over the distant lights, his tone grew louder, "How dare you! How dare you once again question my concern!"

"I'm not questioning..." Rusty stammered. "It's just...If roles were reversed, Mom would have insisted you go to your doctor and you just let her…"

"Rusty…" Andy ran both hands over his face, "I called and spoke directly to your mother's doctor this afternoon. I explained everything that has been going on and we... both agreed that it would be best to reschedule. I didn't just…" his breath caught, "let her skip it."

"I didn't know…" Rusty started.

"Of course, you didn't know," the frustration in Andy's voice was unmistakable. "You never gave me a chance to tell you. You just automatically assumed once again that I…" Anger threatened to consume him, "Just forget it!" His hands gripped the railings, his eyes slipped closed as he willed himself to calm down. After a few measured breaths he turned, finally looking at Rusty, "Have you stopped for even one minute to think about what this case is doing to her? You know what the church and that school mean to her. Not to mention..." his words died slowly on his lips, "Damn-it..." Andy shook his head and turned away.

"Not to mention? Not to mention what?" worry seeped through Rusty's voice.

"Hobbs came to see your Mom tonight, there's new information on Stroh." Andy stepped closer, his tone dropping even more. "I don't exactly know what...I didn't want to push her, she said we would all discuss it...in the morning. But it's just one more thing..."

"I didn't know..." Rusty repeated for the second time tonight. He looked down unable to meet Andy's glare.

"Here's the thing, let's forget Stroh for a moment; other than that sick bastard, I'm not telling you anything that you don't already know. Sharon has spent her entire life taking care of everyone else, putting everyone and everything before herself. And that is not going to change, I…We… just have to work harder to find ways to help her that don't seem so… obvious. Why do you think I asked you to bring her something to eat yesterday?"

Rusty shrugged, "I…guess, I assumed you were too busy."

"Nope, wrong answer." Slowly shaking his head, Andy moved to sit in a nearby chair, "I knew, if you were the one to bring her dinner, she would stop and take a few minutes to sit with you, maybe eat a little more than she would if I asked her to." Leaning forward, Andy rested his head in his hands, "I know trust comes really hard for you but, Rusty…can't you see we are in this together? We both love your mother, we both are worried sick about her and we both would do anything to make sure that she is okay."

Silence filled the night air for what seemed like several minutes, Andy looked up at the sound of a chair scrapping across the tile of the balcony floor. Pulling the chair closer, Rusty sat with a deep sigh, "I know that…deep down, I really do. I just let…other things cloud my judgement. I am sorry…I honestly believe that you are every bit as worried as I am. Where is she, by the way, you never said."

Andy's eyes met Rusty's, even in the dim light, he could see the concern etched deep within them, "She fell asleep while I was running her bath, I just didn't have the heart to wake her."

Rusty leaned forward with another deep sigh, "I take it she didn't get any rest last night?"

Andy slowly shook his head, "Between you and me, I don't think she has even sat on the new sofa in her office."

Rusty's soft chuckle echoed through the night, "I told you…"

Andy couldn't help but join in, "Don't even get me started, I think team has a bet going…"

"Just like they did when you and Mom weren't…dating." Rusty's emphasis on the word dating made them both laugh even harder. So hard in fact, neither heard the soft whoosh of the door sliding open.

"You two are having a good time." Both men looked up, surprised at the low sound of her voice. Andy stood, quickly pulling her into his arms. "Sorry I fell asleep, I guess I didn't realize how tired I really was," she leaned in placing a soft kiss to his cheek.

Pulling her even tighter, Andy slowly ran his hands up and down the blush cashmere robe covering her back while he eyed Rusty. "The Kid and I were just about to have some dinner, so you're just in time."

"Oh, okay…" she shivered into the warmth of Andy's hold, "That sounds good, I like the idea of the three of us sitting down together."

Rusty stood, moving quickly to the open doorway, he paused, taking a moment to meet Andy's eyes over his mother's shoulder, "Me too, Mom. Me too."


	24. Sanctuary City, part II

**A/N 6.02 Sanctuary City Part 2 missing scene. No beta, all mistakes are mine.**

 **A/N2 sorry to say that I'm already behind but work travel has gotten me off course. About 80% of this was written before last Tuesday's show. With any luck I'll be caught up before next Tuesday. Thanks for your continued support!**

The pale green eyes reflected in the mirror lost their focus, the damp cloth clinched in her left hand floated effortlessly to floor, landing just to the right of her bare feet. She startled the instant his strong arms slipped around her, only to melt into the firmness of his chest not even a second later. "You okay?" His voice was soft, low against her ear even though he already knew what her answer would be. His surprise when her head slowly shook no against his shoulder was moments later replaced by small thread of fear as she turned in his arms, her muffled sob against his chest echoing across the silent bathroom. "Hey, hey," the fabric of her deep purple tank top was soft against his fingertips as his hands skimmed slowly up and down her back, "Sharon…"

She buried her nose in the crook of his neck, longing to stay in that exact spot forever. Her small, cold hands moved around him, slipping just under the waist band of his pajama bottoms, pulling him even closer. She wanted to forget for just a few minutes everything that was clogging her mind, she need to to forget for just a few minutes just how utterly tired she really was. She drew in a ragged breath at the feel of his hand slipping into her hair; a soft hum, the only sound she was capable of vibrated against his chest.

Andy's dark chestnut eyes slipped closed, the weight of her body albeit slight against his, offered a comfort that he didn't realize he needed. "Shh…" he soothed even though she was quiet now. His head bent lower, his nose nestled into her soft auburn curls, breathing in a lingering hint of her perfume and the intoxicating scent that was uniquely Sharon Raydor. Her breath was warm against his neck, while her fingertips in sharp contrast, were cold against his lower back. Minutes passed, neither moved, content in sharing a closeness that they both had longed for. Gingerly, Andy's hand moved from her hair, down her side to rest just below her waist. "Come…" he tried to step back, but she held firm. The soft shake of her head earning a low chuckle from him. He gently tugged at the hem of her shirt, "we are both too tired to stand here much longer, let's go to bed so that…" Her hands slid down his sides before he could finish his thoughts and she stepped away from him, tugging her shirt over her head as she went. He moved quickly behind her, reaching to unhook her nude lace bra as they stepped into their bedroom. Shrugging the bra down her arms, she tossed it on the bench at the foot of their bed before slipping on her favorite pale blue nightgown. Andy's eyes remained locked on her as he moved to his side of the bed, pulling the covers back, he settled flat on his back. Without speaking, Sharon sat on the edge of the bed before reaching to turn the bedside lamp off. In the stark darkness, she rolled into him, her head coming to rest on his chest, her legs easily moving between his. He pulled the cover up, before slipping his arm around her bringing her even closer.

There was so much that needed to be said, so much they needed to discuss yet both remained silent. Her fingers fisted at the soft cotton of his undershirt, while his hand moved to the gentle swell of her hip. "Love you," the low tenor of her voice echoed her exhaustion.

His finger moved in slow circles along her side in hopes of lulling her to sleep, "Goodnight sweetheart…I love you." She snuggled close for a few more minutes before rolling away, curling on to her side with a low hum. He longed to hold her all night, but sleep was the one thing that Sharon did not do well. After sleeping alone for most of her adult life, he more than understood her need for some space; he didn't like it, but he understood. His eyes slipped closed even as he listened to the hushed sounds of her breathing; the thoughts of his conversation with Rusty tugged at his mind as he drifted off to sleep.

Morning came much to soon, rolling to his side, Andy was not surprised to find the bed beside him empty and cold despite the fact that their alarm hadn't sounded. Walking slowly into the empty bathroom, he couldn't help but wonder how long she had been up. Minutes later his question was answered as he padded into the living room. Fully dressed for work, Sharon sat at the dining table, her favorite turquoise mug nestled between her hands. "Morning…" his finger tips skimmed across the back of her blue blazer as he continued into the kitchen in search of coffee.

"Hey…" she breathed with a soft smile before taking another sip of tea.

Coffee in hand, Andy moved to sit beside her, "Sleep okay?" Her low shrug gave the answer he already knew. Taking another sip of coffee, he took a few moments to study her. Glasses off, the green of her eyes still look tired in the early morning light. The hint of ginger in the air from the tea she slowly sipped was also telling. It wasn't until he felt the weight of her hand atop his that he realized she was also studying him.

"Everything okay?" The concern in her voice evident.

"Yeah…yeah…fine," he nodded slowly but the raise of her brows told him she wasn't so sure. Her fingertips thumbed against the top of his hand in a gentle pattern. With a deep sigh and another sip of coffee Andy met her eyes again. "Rusty came to me yesterday…"

"Okay…" her questioning eyes search his.

"He…" drawing in a deep breath, "the kid wants a gun," the shock on her face was palpable, "and a conceal and carry permit."

"And he came to you because?"

"Because…" Andy started but she held up her and to stop him.

"He came to you because he knew you would agree with him."

"Sharon…" Andy shook his head.

Slowly she stood, "Andy, it's okay. I want him to be comfortable coming to you, but…a gun!" Walking toward the windows she reached to steady herself on the back of one of the chairs. "I don't know how…I feel about this. Andy…" she turned surprised to find him directly behind her.

"Come, sit back down," his arm slipped around her waist, leading her over to the sofa, he held to her side as she slowly sat. "Before you get upset," he started.

"I'm already upset Andy! I was upset about this whole situation before you added this bit of information." Rubbing at her temple, her eyes slipped closed.

Sitting beside her, concern washed over him, maybe he should have waited until she was feeling better. He watched as her face paled even more; taking a deep breath, she swallowed hard. "Sharon…" he placed his hand on her forearm.

Eyes opening, she shook her head, "A gun…he doesn't know anything about…" her voice trailed off.

"We'll teach him…together. I mean you're the best shot the LAPD has and I'm not…too bad," she rolled her eyes at his slight smirk. "You and I both know he's never going to agree to an undercover detail, maybe this is the next best answer."

She stared intently at him, unshed tears glistening in her green eyes, "There is no…best answer, except he needs to…stay…safe." She stood again with a soft groan, "I'm going to drive myself this morning."

"Sharon," following her back to the dining table, he was surprised at her quick change of subject. "It will only take me a few minutes to get ready. I would feel better if you let me drive you."

She looked at him over the rim of her tea mug before taking a small sip, "I need you to meet Mike at the morgue and I…need to have a discussion with my son."

Defeated, Andy slowly shook his head, "You're sure…"

With a sad smile, she brushed a chaste kiss against his stubbled cheek, "Yes Andy, I'm sure."

"Yeah…okay. If that's what you want." He wanted nothing more than to pull her close and never let her go, but he knew that wasn't an option. Worry settled deep in his stomach as she walked away from him back down the hall to their bedroom. How much more could she take before everything was too much.


	25. Sanctuary City, part III

**A/N 6.03 Sanctuary City Part III missing scene. No beta, all mistakes are mine.**

 **A/N2 Well, talk about last minute! This is not the chapter I originally planned on writing but I couldn't get this out of my head. The way Andy has been written in these first 3 episodes has really bugged me. This is my way of dealing with it. Thanks for your continued support!**

It's weird, he thought. There was a time not too long ago that he felt awkward and shy when she hugged him; now, only a few years later, he feels safe and very much loved in the comfort of her arms. But not tonight, tonight when she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into the warmth of her small frame, he felt worried and scared. Really scared. "Mom?" Looking back at him, she stopped just inside the doorway of his room. "I can heat a bowl of that soup you like." The grimace that ghosted her features was gone as quickly as it appeared.

"Thank you," her smile was soft, "but I'm going to have a nice long shower and go to bed. Goodnight Rusty." She turned, stepping toward the open bathroom door.

"Mom?" His voice was a little louder this time, drawing her attention once again. She turned with a low hum, leaning heavily against the bathroom door facing, she waited for him to continue. "Is Andy home yet?"

Slowly shaking her head, "Not yet, but he shouldn't be much longer. He was on his way."

"Okay…" Rusty nodded with a deep sigh, "Nite Mom…Love you."

"Love you too, Sweetie."

Rusty watched as she closed the bathroom door with a soft click. He turned, intent on continuing work on his murder board when something on his dresser drew his attention. His eyes grew wide at the dark object resting just in front of a stack of books. "Shit!" he muttered under his breath. Stepping closer he reached out to touch the gun, but at the last minute decided against it. "Shit, shit, shit…" Abruptly, he hurried out of his room, down the hall, running directly into Andy who had just come in the door.

"Woah…Kid. Slow down." He held to Rusty's shoulders. "Is every thing okay? Is Sharon okay?"

"No." Rusty shook his head, "I mean…yes…she's okay…I just…" Rusty turned around, pulling himself from Andy's loose hold he started back down the hall, "I need you to come to my room."

Unsure, Andy slowly followed, only to stop and stick his head in their open bedroom door. Finding it empty he resumed his pace behind Rusty, pausing only to stop at the closed bathroom door; the sound of water flowing from the shower somewhat eased his worry. Stepping into Rusty's room his eyes were drawn automatically to the far wall, "Wow, that's some murder board, you've got there." Moving even closer, his eyes moved from one side of the wall to the next, "Great job Kid!"

"Andy, that not why I asked you in here."

Finally looking the kid in the eyes, Andy quickly realized that Rusty was as upset as he first thought, "Okay…what's going on?" Instead of saying anything, Rusty pointed at a dark object resting on his dresser. Andy's eyes narrowed as he stepped closer, the realization that Sharon's holstered weapon was in Rusty's room confused him, "Your Mom gave you a gun?"

"No…" Rusty fervidly shook his head, "You know I'm not ready yet. She brought it in to test me. You know…take it apart and put it back together."

"Okay." Andy's confusion still evident.

"She forgot it. Andy…don't you see. Mom left a gun in my room, a gun! She's not well! She needs rest…she needs to stay home tomorrow! You need to make her stay home tomorrow!"

"Rusty…" Andy sat heavily on the edge of the bed, leaning forward he ran his fingers through his hair, "I can't."

"What do you mean you can't!" his voice grew louder, "Are you blind! Do you not see that she's not any better! She could barely hold her head up tonight! And she has no business driving!"

"Keep your voice down!" Andy bit out through clenched teeth.

Defeated, Rusty moved to sit a few feet from his soon to be step-dad, "Explain to me…" his voice was low and even, "why you can't. I get that at work she's your boss and what she says goes, but that woman in there is about to be your wife and she is sick. Damn-it Andy. Why?" Rusty slowly shook his head, "Why does it always come back to me questioning your love for my mother?"

Turning his head, Andy's dark eyes shot daggers at Rusty, "You know… I love her."

With a low shrug Rusty countered, "Loving someone and having the guts to do what's best for them is sometimes two totally different things."

Leaning back, Andy rested his weight on his arms, "Look, I don't want to push her. Okay, it's as simple as that. With everything that's going on I think it would be more upsetting to her if I put my foot down and tried to force her to do something she doesn't want to do. You know as well as I do that she's never going to put herself first, but this case…" He deliberately shook his head, "and the connection with the Church…it couldn't have come at a worse time. Rusty, if I could convince her to stay at home tomorrow, I can't stay at home with her and I know you can't either. At work, we can all keep an eye on her. I agree about the driving, I'll make sure she rides with me. But, I won't try to force her to stay at home."

With a deep sigh Rusty stood, "But you agree that she's not getting better?" Unable to trust his voice, Andy simply nodded. "I want you to know that Emily and I both wish you would take a stronger stance with her, I understand why you think you shouldn't but, I disagree."

Clearing his throat, Andy rubbed his hand across his face, "And Ricky?"

"Ricky thinks that Mom is going to do exactly what she wants regardless of what any of us say."

With a low chuckle Andy stood, "Hmm, a family divided."

"But for the right reasons, I guess. Andy?" Rusty looked down at the floor, "I'm sorry. I know you're getting tired of me…"

"Hold it right there," Andy interrupted, "I appreciate the love and concern you have for Sharon. I know how much she means to you…how much she means to both of us. Don't ever apologize for being worried about her."

A small smile ghosted Rusty's features, "Okay."

"Now," Andy reached for the holstered gun, "I'm going see if I can talk a certain someone into having a cup of soup before she falls asleep." Pausing in the doorway, Andy looked back at Rusty, "Nite Kid, and…" he nodded at the murder board adorning the wall, "Nice work, really… good job."

Stepping across the hall, Andy paused at the bathroom door before opening it and stepping in. The room was still warm from Sharon's shower, but she was no where in sight. Closing the door behind him, he quietly walked into their bedroom. A single bedside lamp cast a soft glow across the bed, Andy was about to speak when he realized she was already asleep. Moving into the closet, he locked the gun away before changing into his pajamas. Padding quietly back to the bedroom he moved to Sharon's side of the bed. Bending closer he carefully studied her face; even in sleep, she looked exhausted. The circles under her eyes dark against her pale, makeup free skin; her still damp hair curled softly around her face. His hands balled into tight fists to keep from reaching out to touch her. Regardless of his desire to hear the smooth tone of her voice, waking her was the last thing he wanted to do. Shaking his head, he knew deep down Rusty was right, she needed to stay home tomorrow. Sharon Raydor desperately needed to rest, but Andy knew too well that rest would only come once this case was over.


	26. Sanctuary City, part IV

**A/N Sanctuary City, part IV missing scene. No beta all mistakes are mine**.

The iPad landed on the sofa with a soft thud, it's dim glow the only light in the dark living room. "Fucking WebMD," Andy Flynn muttered under his breath, his hands running through his already mussed hair. Leaning his head back against the cushions, his eyes slipped closed, their conversation from a few hours before still heavy on his mind.

" _Andy, I've told you exactly what the doctor said. We've caught this early and he doesn't see a reason why everything shouldn't work out just... fine. We will see how I respond to the antibiotics and other medications he prescribed," she drew in her bottom lip, "We…have to wait… and see. That's all I know."_

 _He continued to study her; the way her hands fidgeted in her lap, the way she assaulted her bottom lip with her teeth, the way her eyes periodically lost contact with his. Reaching up, he slipped her glasses off, slipping them into the pocket of his robe, "Andy…what are you doing?" Tracing his finger down the slope of her nose, his warm hand moved to gently caress her cheek; giving in, her eyes fluttered closed as she nuzzled against him, "Andy…" she breathed softly._

 _"Promise me…" the low tenor of his voice forced her eyes open, he leaned forward, now only inches from her. She sometimes forgot how easily she could get lost in the dark, depths of his gaze. "Sharon," his thumb gently grazed her cheek, "Promise me, you won't shut me out. You won't try to keep how you are really feeling from me. Please! I meant it when I said we," he squeezed her knee with his other hand, "Sharon, that's you and me…we are in this together."_

 _A single tear fell from her tired green eyes, "I know," she sighed against him, "Deep down, I do know that." Her hand migrated atop his, the tips of her fingers cold against his warm skin, "Don't let me…shut you out. Okay…you may have to push me a little. Andy, I'm giving you permission to push me when you think I need it."_

 _A low chuckle escaped him, "You're gonna get irritated with me."_

 _With a soft shrug and a sad smile, she nuzzled his hand with her cheek once again, "I'll try not to."_

 _"Then, I'm not letting you out of my sight."_

 _"Okay," she nodded against him, a fresh batch of tears threatening._

 _His hand slipped down to her side, "I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted. Can we continue this conversation lying down?"_

 _"I think that is the best idea you've had yet."_

 _Once they settled into bed, he was surprised at how quickly she fell asleep, once again a testament to how tired she really was. There was still so much he needed to say, so many questions he needed to ask. They hadn't even discussed when and what exactly they were going to tell the kids. He lay beside her for hours begging for sleep to save him from his thoughts, until he finally gave up. Hating to leave her, but scared he would wake her from much needed sleep, Andy quietly padded into the living room. He should have never googled cardiomyopathy, that was his first mistake. It had taken him on a path of no return, words and outcomes that could never be unseen only caused his fear and anxiety to build more._

Standing with a low groan Andy moved to the balcony windows. How many times had he found her in this exact spot in the weeks following his heart attack. Now he understood the unspoken fear that must have been so overwhelming for her, although she never once showed it. Occasionally, he caught a sadness in her eyes that was so full of fear, but it would vanish as soon as she realized he was watching. He saw that same sadness again today, except now she couldn't hide it quite so easily. The ragged breath he attempted to draw, caught on the lump in his throat as fear and anger settled deep inside his chest. She didn't deserve this, but how many times could he continue to ask… why her, why Sharon? What scared him the most was the uncertainty of what lies ahead. There were too many unanswered questions, too many paths this disease could take. Would their life together end, just when it was beginning? Could their fate be that cruel? His hands tightened into fist, his chin dropped to his chest, he struggled once again to take that one cleansing breath, longing to feel it burn through fear and sorrow filling his chest.

The hands that slid around his waist startled him but only for a brief second. Worry knitted her brow as she leaned her forehead against the middle of his back, "Have you slept at all?" Her voice was muffled against his soft grey t-shirt.

His head hung even lower, not trusting his voice, he gave it a small shake.

Sharon sighed heavily against him, "Andy…" her small hands shifted to his hips, trying to turn him but he refused to budge.

Clearing his throat, Andy begged his voice to remain even, "Did the doctor mention myocarditis? I did some reading tonight…"

"Andy…" her head rolled back and forth against his back.

He stepped quickly from her light hold, moving back to the sofa, he sat heavily. Picking up his iPad, he leaned forward, scrolling through the pages, "Maybe we need to get a second opinion. Or…"

"Andy…" her voice caught deep in her throat, "Please stop." She turned to look at him, even in the dim light she could see the hurt and fear consuming him.

"Maybe it's pericarditis," he rattled on as if she hadn't spoken. "Have you had a sharp, stabbing chest…"

Having enough, she jerked the iPad from his hand before he could continue and in one swift motion threw it in the nearby chair. Without another word and not giving him time to react, she stepped between his knees and pulled him flush against her. One hand moved into his short silver hair while the other held firm against his shoulder. She could feel his shuddering draw of air against her, the blush silk of her nightgown cool against his cheek, while her fingertips moved in a slow circular motion against the back of his head. The first sob that escaped him was muffled against her rib cage; the second, a silent tremble, "Shh…that's it. Just let it out," her voice was so soft, so full of love that it made his heart break just a little bit more. "I'm right here…shh." It wasn't the first time he had cried in her arms and he knew after today it wouldn't be the last. He just prayed that in the days going forward, he could give her even half the strength that she gives him.


	27. Sanctuary City, part V

**A/N: Sanctuary City, part V episode tag. No beta all mistakes are mine**.

 **A/N 2: Caution, rated M for sexual content towards the end of the chapter**

 **A/N 3: Song lyrics Two Less Lonely People in the World by Air Supply**

 _I was down, my dreams were wearing thin  
When you're lost, where do you begin?  
My heart always seemed to drift from day to day  
Looking for the love that never came my way_

 _Then you smiled and I reached out to you_  
 _I could tell you were lonely too_  
 _One look and then it all began for you and me_  
 _The moment that we touched I knew that there would be_

 _Two less lonely people in the world_  
 _And it's gonna be fine_  
 _Out of all the people in the world_  
 _I just can't believe you're mine_  
 _In my life where everything was wrong_  
 _Something finally went right_  
 _Now there's two less lonely people_  
 _In the world tonight_

The white satin was soft against his fingertips, her hand for once as of late was warm against his. Dipping his head, he leaned closer to her ear, "Do you remember the first time we danced to this song?"

Her low hum was genuine against the crook of his neck, "There are several things that come to mind when I think about that night. What I remember the most was how nervous you were." She chuckled against his ear, "It was quite eye opening."

"Hey…" the teasing tone to his voice made her smile brighten, "it's not every day a Lieutenant gets to dance the night away with his beautiful Captain." He cleared his throat, his thoughts becoming serious, "You know…I realized that I was in love with you that night."

"Andy…" his name was breathless on her lips. "You didn't."

"Oh, I most certainly did." His right hand slipped tighter around her waist, pulling her even closer. "When you opened the door in that dress; and, don't think I didn't notice the bridesmaid's dresses are the exact same color as the dress you wore that night."

Her fingertip danced lightly across his cheek before moving back to his shoulder, "You have a very good memory Mr. Flynn."

"Trust me, I remember everything about you, Mrs. Flynn." Her hand tightened against his shoulder as a soft giggle escaped her. "Now, where was I…" Andy continued. "The dress, you opened the door in that amazing dress, with your hair up and no glasses," a soft moan escaped him, "I was a goner."

Nuzzling even closer, she breathed in his unique scent, "I still can't believe I'm the one that had to ask you to dance. Did you honestly think we were going to sit there at Nicole's wedding and not dance? I told you," her voice dipped an octave lower, "I like weddings." She leaned back slightly, to look up at him.

He shrugged lightly, "I just kept thinking don't screw this up, Flynn, don't screw this up!"

Her hand slipped easily down his arm, under his coat to tug jokily on his suspenders, "You didn't really fall in love with me that night…"

He bent slightly forward, placing a chaste kiss against her cheek, "I did, but maybe not for the reasons you may think…" Searching his dark eyes, she waited for him to continue, "You trusted me. That night, you trusted me enough to allow me to see the real you. The Sharon who cries at weddings; the Sharon who loves to dance; the Sharon who would do anything for a friend. You trusted me and let me in without any barriers and I know what a big step that was for you. And, it…meant the world to me." With the pad of his thumb, he wiped at her tears that began to fall, "I didn't mean to make you…"

"Sh…" she hushed, burying her face once again in the crook of his neck, "Just hold on to me, okay." His hand glided gently up and down her back as they swayed, yet barely moving to the music.

 _Just to think what I might have missed  
Looking back how did I exist  
I dreamed, still I never thought I'd come this far  
But miracles come true, I know 'cause here we are_

 _Two less lonely people in the world_  
 _And it's gonna be fine_  
 _Out of all the people in the world_  
 _I just can't believe you're mine_  
 _In my life where everything was wrong_  
 _Something finally went right_  
 _Now there's two less lonely people_  
 _In the world tonight_

"I'm sorry." Her words startled him, but not as much as her guilt filled tone. Pulling back, he looked down at her, confusion filling his face. "This isn't exactly how I saw us dancing at our wedding."

 _Tonight I fell in love with you  
And all the things I never knew  
Seemed to come to me somehow  
'Cause, baby, love is here and now there's_

 _Two less lonely people in the world_  
 _And it's gonna be fine_  
 _Out of all the people in the world_  
 _I just can't believe you're mine_  
 _In my life where everything was wrong_  
 _Something finally went right_  
 _Now there's two less lonely people_  
 _In the world tonight_

 _Two less lonely people in the world_  
 _And it's gonna be fine…_

Cupping at her chin, he begged her to look at him as another song started, "I have you here in my arms, that is all I ever need." A shuddering sigh escaped her as she settled back against his chest. "How are you holding up? Really?"

She drew in another deep breath, "I am tired. I won't deny that, but I'm not ready to go home."

"Who said we are going home?" His voice was low against her ear, "Did you honestly think I wouldn't have something romantic planned for my wife on our wedding night?"

Looking up, her light green eyes met his, "Romantic?" Her voice was a purr.

"Hmm." He leaned down capturing her lips in a deep kiss for several moments, "Just you wait and see, I promise you won't be disappointed."

"But, I haven't packed anything and…"

"Shh," his finger moved over her lips, "It's already done. Patrice made sure you have everything you need and there's a dress waiting for you to change into whenever you're ready to go."

Her eyes glistened as tears threatened again. There was so much she wanted to say, but there would be time later, "I'm ready…I am so ready."

 **-sa—**

"I still can't believe you did all of this, without me knowing." Her thumb grazed the top of his hand resting on the console between them.

His eyes shifted to meet hers, before returning his attention to the road. "I had… a lot of help and besides," he shrugged lightly, "You had other things to focus on. Speaking of focus, I thought for a minute there that Emily was going to tackle Hobbs just to get to that bouquet."

Sharon couldn't help the snort laugh that escaped her, "When I turned around she was mid-air in a perfect jete', her role as Giselle certainly paid off in that moment."

"Not to mention the fact that she got Julio to dance, now that was a surprise."

A low hum escaped her, "I wasn't surprised."

"No?" incredulous, Andy glanced back her way.

Her small smirk was undeniable, "When Emily wants something, she tends to not back down."

"Kinda like her mother." He grinned but kept his eyes on the road.

Her fingers curled tighter into his, "You should know that better than anyone."

Traffic was considerably light on the PCH as they continued on past Pacific Palisades. Excitement settled low in Sharon's stomach when Andy turned the car onto Old Malibu Road. The realization that they were staying directly on the beach almost made her giddy. Turning the car on to a small gated drive, Andy rolled the window down, his fingers moved knowingly across the keypad. Seconds later the gate rolled open. There was just enough room to pull the car in the small driveway before the gate rolled closed again. Turning the car off, he turned to look at her, "Surprise!"

"Andy, how did you manage this?" She faced him, her gaze searching in the dim light.

Ignoring her question, he swiftly opened the car door. Following suit, she was just standing up as he made it around to her side of the car. Holding his hand out to her, "Come on, I'll come back for the bags."

Beautiful LED lanterns led the way down a small stone path to a whitewashed wooden staircase. Sharon trailed just behind Andy, all the while holding tightly to his hand. The stairs gave way to a wooden deck and beautiful weathered wood door flanked on each side by large clay urns. Once again Andy moved his fingers across a small key pad just above the door handle, with a click the door opened. Sharon stepped forward, only to be stopped by Andy. "What?" the confusion evident on her face.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" his eyebrows rose. Thinking that he meant a kiss, she leaned in, her hands automatically snaking around his neck. Reaching down, he lifted her with little effort.

"Andy!" Her hands tightened around his neck, the surprise in her voice bringing a chuckle from low in his chest.

"It's tradition, so indulge me please." Before she could protest more, he captured her lips in his. Her fingers snaked into his hair, pulling him deeper. Regretfully she broke the kiss, with a soft moan. Her eyes widened with delight as he stepped through the doorway into the beautifully decorated townhouse. Without hesitation he carried her through the great room to the wall of sliding glass doors overlooking the balcony and ocean beyond. "Whatta' ya think?"

She placed a gentle kiss to his cheek, before slipping from his hold to the wood floor, "Andy, it's perfect." She stepped closer to the glass door, "I can hear the waves."

He walked behind her, pulling her flush against him, his chin resting just on her shoulder, "Wait until you see the view in the morning." Turning his head, he nuzzled his nose against her ear, "I can't wait to wake up with my wife." She turned in his arms, the crème silk shift dress smooth against his fingertips.

"And I…" lust gleamed in her light green eyes, "can't wait to go to bed with my husband."

He looked down, concern etched in his dark brown eyes, "Sharon…" her eyes darkened the instant her name left his lips. "We don't have to…" she pushed from his light hold and he missed the feel of her body against his instantly. His hands dropped to his sides forming tight fists, he knew immediately he had already messed up. He watched as she stepped to the opposite side of the room, holding to the back of a pale blue club chair, she tugged off her favorite pair of Jimmy Choo's. With her back to him, she moved closer to the window. "Why don't you look around and I'll go get our bags out of the car." Not trusting her voice, a slight nod was her only reply. Andy turned, with a deep sigh, he walked back through the living room. As the door closed gently behind him, Sharon drew in a ragged breath, brushing at the tears she could no longer hold back.

After depositing their bags in the master bedroom, Andy changed out of his tuxedo into a pair of navy and white stripped pajama bottoms along with his white undershirt. He then went in search of his beautiful wife. He was not surprised to find her outside leaning against the railing that surrounded the outdoor deck. "Hey…" she drawled the second he slipped his warm masculine arms around her.

Wind whipped her hair across his face, "You okay?" his voice a whisper against her cheek.

She turned, cupping his face in her hands, her eyes searched his despite the dark night, "Andy, I'm fine. Really." He leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers. They settled into comfortable silence for a moment, just content on holding each other until he felt her shiver against him.

"Come on," he pulled her back inside, closing the sliding door with a soft whoosh. "I have it on good authority that there is something we both might like in your suitcase." He once again pulled her against the warmth and comfort of his chest, "I'll lock up and give you a few minutes to yourself." With a shy smile and soft pat to the center of his chest, she turned, excusing herself.

Candlelight offered a warm glow against the light grey and white décor of the master bedroom. The covers pulled back on the weathered iron four poster bed gave the room a soft and comfortable look. Andy sat on the edge of the bed, the day playing over and over in his mind. He found it hard to believe that after all this time she was finally his wife. 'My wife' he whispered to himself. Caught up in his thoughts, Andy failed to hear the bathroom door open, it wasn't until she cleared her throat that he looked up. If he thought his wife couldn't get any more beautiful than she had that first moment he saw her standing at the back of the church in her wedding dress, he was so wrong. Standing, his eyes moved slowly from her hair, now piled high on top of her head; to her beautiful face, makeup no longer covering the smattering of freckles that dotted her nose; the white lace and satin negligee fell mid-thigh showing off her fantastic legs while it gathered just below her breasts with a pale lilac ribbon. The matching robe in contrast was long, skimming just across the tops of her bare feet.

He opened his mouth to speak; stepping closer, she slowly shook her head. Pushing up on her toes, she sought out his mouth in a searing kiss. Pulling back, she traced her hand along his chin. "I need you to make love to me." At that moment he wanted her more than he had ever wanted anything; so much more than he had ever wanted anyone in his entire life but, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't hide the fear and worry that gave him pause. She cupped his cheek, her thumb gently grazing the light stubble there. "The doctor said…"

"Sharon…" he tried to interrupt her.

"No," her finger pressed against his lips, "Getting to this moment has cost us both so much, I'm not letting my heart… or yours for that matter, stop us from having the wedding night we both want and so very much deserve." Slipping her hand down his arm, she linked their fingers together.

Looking down, he marveled that something as simple as holding her hand could have so much power over him and bring him the inner peace he was lacking. He knew in that moment, together they would be okay. He guided her closer to the bed, his hands moving to her shoulders, he let the robe slide to the floor. Lifting her in one swift motion, he placed her in the center of the bed. In the dim candlelight, she watched as he turned to walk away, "Where are you going?"

"Nowhere sweetheart." He shed his pajama bottoms and undershirt. Clad only in his dark grey boxer briefs, he joined her in bed. Rolling toward her, Andy caught her around the waist, pulling her back with him. She shivered against him with a low moan. Her eyes slipped closed as she savored the familiar warmth of his body. Turning in his arms, she sought his mouth and found it, sinking into him with a deep searing kiss. He held her motionless for a few beats, savoring the taste of her lips against his. Seconds later, his hand was cupping the back of her head, pulling her deeper into him. Her legs moved between his; the delicious weight of his warm thighs sending a rush of desire through her. Their tongues tangled together, his soft sweet kisses arousing her even more. How could a kiss be so demanding, yet tender at the same time she wondered?

His firm lips continued to tease her; nipping across her jaw, he drew her earlobe between his teeth earning a low moan of pleasure from her lips. Her hand moved between them, gently cupping him at first, he swelled to her touch, his want and desire evident. He said her name with a deep groan, his hips bucking involuntarily against her caress. "Sharon?" the question was still there in his voice.

"I need to feel you…Andy, please. Make me feel alive," she whispered in reply. His hands slid underneath the soft lace of her nightgown, his fingers dusting like a feather across her belly until he was palming her breasts. His fingers squeezed the plump flesh before moving to her nipples. His innate knowledge of her body and what she liked; no, what she needed, was not lost on this moment. He pinched, rolling the budded flesh between his fingers until she cried out in pleasure. Her legs tightened around his, begging him closer. Grinding her moist heat against his thigh, their eyes met in the soft light.

"Tell me what you need?" his deep voice floated between them. He leaned in, once again nibbling at her lips only to pull away minutes later.

"Andy?" she whimpered at the loss of contact. Her arms reached for him as he leaned above her. His hands suddenly at her hips, tugged the white lace panties down her long, toned legs, only to toss them across the candlelit room. His silver head was buried between her firm thighs seconds later. Fisting the sheets with both hands, she couldn't help but hold her breath, the anticipation of the magic of his tongue was almost too much to bear. "Oh god!" she arched into him, pushing her hips up to meet him. His hand splayed across her stomach, holding her in place, while his warm tongue tasted her at his own pace. He teased and taunted, making her wait while he savored every last inch of her. Her hands moved into her hair, pulling soft tendrils from the clip atop of her head. "Don't stop…god, that feels so…good." His low growl was muffled against her soft gasps. "Yes…oh, yes." His mouth was divine, the source of a pleasure so delicious she wanted it to last forever. Her body was on fire, alive with the love and desire only he could show her. Moving her right hand into the short, silvery hairs atop his head, she urged him for more; begging him to push her over the precipice. Her core tensed, his name fell from her lips; she had never felt so alive from pleasure. Pleasure so hot and intense, it burned through her, finally shattering her into a million pieces. One orgasm rolled into the next until she was no longer sure if she could catch her breath. Her hands moved to her eyes, holding back the tears threatening.

She felt the mattress dip as he moved to sit up while shrugging out of his boxers. His hand skimmed gingerly from her knee down to her ankle. "You okay?"

Her voice was hoarse, her eyes still closed, "I'll be better when I can feel you inside me."

She was going to be the death of him, of that Andy was certain. "Sharon…" His groan was low, his hands pulling her to him more roughly than he intended. It took every ounce of strength he had to ease slowly into her. Groaning her name again, he pulled out only to push in again, working himself even deeper this time. Her fingers grasped at the sheets while her body tightened around him. Andy's body glistened over hers in the candlelight filled room, his eyes dark with lust as he set a pace that was right for both of them. She watched the pleasure drift over his face as his dark eyes met her lighter ones. The love and commitment she saw there filled her in ways she could never imagine. She came again, her body seized with a wave of pleasure so intense she felt suspended in time. "Oh…god…Sharon!" Andy bit out as her body drew him over the edge with her, milking every ounce of desire from him. He collapsed heavily beside her, rolling to his back, he too struggled to catch his breath.

Her tears came then, the invisible dam broken by his love and desire for her. "I love you," she cried, pulling him into her arms.

"I love you," he murmured, his calloused fingertips brushing across her cheek. Snuggling closer still, both too spent to move, he kissed her tears away. The shelter of her arms offering a safe haven both longed for. He slipped his head lower, resting his cheek against her heart. It's strong and steady beat momentarily easing the fear and sorrow he tried so desperately to hide. He wanted this life with her more than he could ever admit and while they were never guaranteed tomorrow, he prayed that they would have a fair chance at the future they more than deserved.


	28. Conspiracy Theory, Part I

**A/N: Conspiracy Theory, part I episode tag. No beta all mistakes are mine**.

Sitting on the back row seemed so foreign, yet he made no effort to move. For once, Andy Flynn wasn't in the mood to listen to other people's struggles. Truth be known, he wished he was somewhere else altogether. Gripping his phone in his left hand, he waited for the text from Provenza to come. He would feel better, he told himself, when he knew his wife was safe, back in the car with his partner and not out in that tacky restaurant interrogating a murder suspect. Separating his Commander from his Girlfriend had once been easy, but not anymore. It wasn't even the fact that she was now his wife that blurred his judgement; no, Andy was sure that wasn't it. He'd always known she could take care of herself in any given situation, but now there were just too many variables at play. Her illness, Stroh, her illness…Andy's mind circled directly back to that one shattering thought.

It wasn't fair, how could this be happening to her, how could she be sick? Andy could no longer count how many times he has voiced that question, but thus far, not one single time has he said those words out loud. To their friends and family and even to Sharon, he has only had words of encouragement and hope. But inside, anger and most of all fear looms heavily in his thoughts. He would never admit it to Sharon, but he almost wished the Doctor had put more restrictions on her. He knew better than anyone how determined and for lack of a better word – stubborn, she could be. His biggest fear is that she won't admit even to herself how she is really feeling until it is too late. So far, taking it easy wasn't really working, but that didn't surprise him either.

Glancing up, Andy realized someone new was speaking. Intent on shifting his attention, he leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his phone still held tightly in his left hand. His eyes stared unseeing at the dingy brown tile while he tried to focus on hearing the young woman's story. The air next to him shifted as someone sat down in the empty chair to his right, but he didn't bother to look up. The vibration of his phone drew his attention, his eyes scanned the text from Provenza, the relief that Sharon was now on her way home gave life to his first cleansing breath in the last few hours. Andy's eyes migrated back to the floor, his sponsor Keith was speaking now; his deep, familiar voice adding another layer of comfort to Andy's thoughts.

A soft nudge to his knee came from Andy's right, but going with the assumption that the person accidently bumped him, Andy kept his eyes focused on the dark line separating the tiles. Seconds later a somewhat firmer nudge begged for his attention. Looking up, he cursed under his breath at the sight before him. Thinking back, Andy tried to remember the last time he'd set eyes on Jackson Raydor, but the recollection wouldn't come.

With a slight nod, Jack stood, motioning for Andy to follow him. Hesitating for a brief moment, Andy finally relented, shoving his phone into his suit pocket, he stepped out into the isle between the rows of chairs. With dread, he followed Jack out into the vacant corridor. Mincing no words, Jack turned to Andy, "We need to talk."

Knowing things had the potential to get heated, Andy stepped past Jack, "Not here." With a low shrug, Jack fell inline behind him. Once outside, Andy walked down a narrow sidewalk to a small patio with round concrete tables. Turning, he leaned against the closest table, "What can I do for you Jack?" His tone was unmistakable as he studied the man before him. Even in the dim light of the street lamp, Andy could tell from the man's ruddy complexion and too tight dress shirt that he was still drinking. "I take it you're not here for the meeting."

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Jack edged closer, "No, I'm not. I…got a phone call from Emily a few days ago."

Andy ran his hand through his hair, certain of where this conversation was going, "And?"

"She was upset and worried about her mother and I…felt totally blindsided."

"Blindsided…" the roll of Andy's eyes didn't go unnoticed even in the darkened night air.

"Look Flynn," Jack stepped even closer, pointing a plump finger at him, "I deserve to know exactly what's going on with my wife."

A low chuckle escaped Andy's lips, "Your wife?" Standing up straighter, "You didn't give a damn about her when she was your wife, why start now?"

The look that crossed Jack's features was not the one that Andy expected. He expected anger, denial, even a complete lack of concern but, that is not at all what he was seeing. Stepping back slightly, Jack hung his arms loosely by his side, "Look, I know I was a lousy husband but, that doesn't mean that I don't care about her. She's the mother of my children for god's sake."

"Two wonderful children that she raised all on her own!" Andy bit back.

"You're right…Andy, you are exactly right," with a soft groan, Jack eased down on the closest bench. "Is it as bad as Emily is making it out to be?"

A deep sigh burned through Andy's chest; with a heavy heart, he moved to sit opposite from the man he wanted so very much to hate. "I don't know… we don't know right now. The doctor said we wait, see how she responds to the medication. She needs to take it easy, avoid stress…"

"How's that working?" amusement dotted Jack's tone.

"It's not."

"What can I do?" The sincerity of his question surprised Andy.

Leaning back, Andy rested his hands atop the cool concrete, "Make things right with your kids." Jack's gaze drifted down, unable to meet the dark eyes of the man sitting across from him, "I know Emily tries to stay in touch, but when's the last time you spoke to Ricky?" A low hum was Jack's only reply. "Regardless of how this plays out for Sharon, you need to make things right with your kids. Trust me Jack, I more than anyone know how important that is."

Jack ran is hand through his hair, "So this…heart thing, it's really serious isn't it?"

"Yeah," Andy looked away, the pain and sadness carried in that one single word spoke volumes.

Jack stood, clearing his throat, he shoved his hands into his pockets one more time. "Will you tell her I asked about her…and that I'm sorry," his voice cracked, "so very sorry for everything." Not trusting his own voice, Andy slowly nodded. Jack turned to walk away, but he paused after a few steps, "and Flynn?" Their eyes met once again in the dim light, "Take good care of her. She really deserves that."

"I will, that's a promise." Andy watched as Jackson Raydor walked slowly around the corner and out of sight. He would tell her about his conversation, but not tonight and not tomorrow. One day, when he is sure that she is safe and healthy again, he would tell her everything.


End file.
